Working ( 1

How many of you guys are working now? Please let me know what stage of training your spouse is in since I'm new! What are everyone's feelings on working when their spouse is completely through with residency/ fellowships?

Wendy

[Phoebe]

Hi Wendy-

I am working full-time as a research assistant doing clinical trials on medications to treat anxiety disorders. I am very unhappy in my job for several reasons, but since I am 24 weeks pregnant finding another one right now doesn't seem feasible. Our baby is due in September and after maternity leave, I plan to go back to work full-time (If I can handle it) or at least part-time. I hope to be in a new job by the beginning of next year.

My views on working after my husband completes medical training? My husband is just completing his first of a three-year neonatology fellowship. Once he is finished, I plan to return to school to pursue a doctorate in psychology. I plan to work after that and especially once our kids are in school. I think if I didn't work, I would eat everything in sight and watch soaps all day even though I may have a million things to do. However, part-time work sounds nice.

Jennifer

Wendy,

I have gone to school part-time and full-time at times during my husband's training...and I have encountered many different opinions on the subject. The NP and secretary who work in my husand's office have told me in absolutely no uncertain terms that I should be at home and forget this "foolishness" about having a career...I should just "spend his money"....But I don't feel satisfied with that idea!!!!! For me, it is very important to maintain my own identity and to have satisfaction in my own career.

I am not sure what direction I am headed in career-wise. I am trying to finish my MS and then we will see from there. I would like to reapply to med school in about 5 years, but surviving my husband's schooling and training has made me step back and ask myself if it is a good idea for my family....that is one of the reasons that I enjoy reading through the old pre-med group....it helps me keep that dream alive and give me hope....

Jennifer, I didn't know you were interested in going and getting your PhD in Psych...that sounds great!

Kris

[DCJenn]

Hi all-

I am the Director of a company that has 8 group homes for devleopmentally disabled adults. I have only ever worked in this field- my first job out of college was as a job coach- mowing lawns with 8 men with mental retardation and mental illness! (talk about trial by fire!) But I love the work that I do for the most part. Right now I'm working for a very difficult to work for family owned company. Fortuately they've realized that there are some major issues that need to be addressed and are actually working on it.

I have a master's degree in Counseling- I went back to school full time when I was young and single and able to drop out of life for a year and a half. I started a 2nd Master's in Health Services Administration but dropped it as I found it boring and expensive.

Rick is 5 (6?) weeks away from being a 2nd year! (peds) I have to work as we entered this marriage with very large debts- due entirely to careless spending in our youth and not Med School! (for those who missed it- he attended Uniformed Services University and therefore owes time to Uncle Sam but no money)

We don't have any children and are getting close to the point where we're going to have to make a decision about that very subject. I'm 34 (35 in Nov) and do NOT want to even think about having a child with a disability. I know what the services are like. (please do not be offended!)

Well, that's it. I am happy to have a group of fellow employed people. Of all of the intern/resident spouses there are about 5 of us who work. I joined the auxiliary and they have yet to have a function on an evening or a weekend!

OK- I'm exhausted, worked all weekend and now have another couple hours of work to do. Sorry I'm not too peppy.

Have a nice night-

Jenn

Jenn-

I had to laugh when I read this: "I started a 2nd Master's in Health Services Administration but dropped it as I found it boring and expensive." becuase when I started my Master's degree, I started in Health Admin. I switched to Public Health after 2 quarters because I found it boring. Fortunately, it shares many of the same courses with the Public Health degree, so nothing was lost in the switch to Public Health. It is still expensive, but certainly not boring.

I don't think that anyone that has worked with disabled people, especailly children could fault you for not wanting that. I worked as a PICU nurse for 4 years & saw more than my share of neurologically compromised children. Although most of the parents (there are some true lowlifes out there that just enjoyed the $ they rec'd from the government for having a disabled child) loved their disabled child dearly, it wasnt' what they wanted for their child. I'm not sure anyone would wish that for their child.

There is something to be said for loving your work and having a job that is fulfilling. I have always felt that it is important to me to have an occupation that helps others in some way. I like the ability to make a positive difference in someone else's life. Ok- that sounds like I'm blowing a bunch of sunshine around, but it is important to me. That was part of the reason for the big switch from Health Admin to Public Health. Not much difference to be made in people's lives when your figuring hospital budgets all day.

I intend to keep working for a while. That desire may change once we have a child, but that's a hard call to make at this point. It may not matter what I want since we are going to New Jersey & I seriously doubt we could survive without my full-time income. I also like the separate professional indentity-- someone other than the doctor-to-be's wife.

Wendy





Edited by: wkelley2001 at: 5/31/01 6:58:04 am

You guys all have really interesting careers! I am so looking forward to getting to know everyone better.

Kris

[DCJenn]

I wonder if there's some relationship with being married to a medical person and also being in a healthcare and/or helping profession. (Thesis anyone?) Of the few spouses within our program who work- most are also in the helping professions. One is a diabetic nurse, one is a bartender (definitely a helping profession- if you've ever done it, you know-it's like being a hairdresser!) and there are quire a few dual program couples- one surgical resident married to a peds resident, etc. Of course one of the spouses is a newscaster. Hard to compete with that one!

I have a huge meeting with the Corporate Gods on Monday. I have to try to hold my tongue and sit on my hands. It's going to be long and annoying. Hopefully I will be able to convince them that yes, some of my staff have made some mistakes- (We're expected to be 100% perfect 24/7) perhaps it's time to take a look at the system instead of the people. They like to blame the person rather then the system because it's their system and my people. I'm going to do some serious yoga that morning and my mantra is going to be "be in your happy place..."

Of course I've also promised myself to not think about it this weekend...and here I go. But I have some visual aids and a list of concerns and I hope things go well. At least I know that I have the safety of knowing that my group of homes is the only one of all of them that hasn't been 'dinged' by the state. So...I will play that card if I have to. (Now, the fact that more than half of the dings were entirely due to the stupid reviewers from the state and not the facilities- example: one reviewer entered a large facility and walked up to one of the clients and put her arm around him- and he punched her and knocked her to the ground. So, rather than agreeing that putting one's arm around someone without: introducing oneself, asking permission, and only then touching someone- she cited the entire facility for endangering all of the other clients-and the state upheld it!)

Anyway- enough babble about the world of developmental disabilities in this God-forsaken ass-backwards state.

Later-

Jenn

How did it go with the corporate Gods? Do I dare ask?

I have met a lot of spouses in the medical profession: nurses, lab techs, fellow physicians......I wonder if they are attracted to each other because of a mutual interest in healthcare, or meet in the hospital? It would be interesting to see some stats on that.....

Kris

[DCJenn]

I blew their minds. After drinking approximately 20 gallons of Celestial seasonings "Tension Tamer" tea over the weekend- I actually convinced the head honchos that we make mistakes because we don't have the administrative support- and if they'd like me to to market this program I need to stop being a highly paid filing clerk. And it worked. So, now I'm off the the florist for a little plant, I've written my thank-yous to the asses and will hopefully seal the deal with a wee bit of corporate brown-nosing. A girl's gotta do...

later all-

Jenn

Go Jenn Go Jenn

Wow, I think I need you to coach me before me defense! Congratulations on your success and I will remember the tension tamer tea thing....maybe if I start drinking now, I will be relaxed by the 22nd when I defend?

Here's a virtual boquet for YOU:




Kris

uh....before "my" defense

Kris

[DCJenn]

Thanks for the bouquet, Kris.

Howdja do that?

Anyway- I don't know if it's real or the infamous 'placebo' effect but the tea seemed to help. I'm kind of obnoxious in real life and I didn't want to go in guins blazing. (Well, I did but decided that it wouldn't be a good idea, since I want to keep my job!)

I planned out everything I thought they would ask- had my visual aids ready and my cheat sheet of points I wanted to make sure to cover. I haven't done that much homework since Grad School!

Thanks for the kudos-

Jenn

yes, bo uquet....I'm definately losing it!

Well, congrats anyway....and thanks for relaxation tea tip! I went out and bought some last night


Kris
The Medical Spouse Network

Up until last month I was a strategic and management consultant with a top accounting / consulting firm. (I got laid off and am currently pursuing a new job). What I do has absolutely no relationship to the medical field. I got my undergrad degree before I met my hubby (in Business Administration) and got into my MBA program before I met him too. Although I attended while we were dating.

Aside from my full-time job I do all the laundry, shopping, bill-paying, cleaning, organizing, freaking out and the like. This past January we got a full-time live in nanny. Thank g-d for her. She is a life saver.

Once my hubby starts as an attending (in 8 more years) I will be very tempted to find something more part-time, more mundane and less stressful. I feel like I will deserve it after all these years of being the sole bread winner and head of household. Not to mention after paying off his more than $160,000 worth of student loans from both med school AND grad school. Mine were paid off in full before we were even engaged. As was my car. Plus it will allow me to spend more time with our son (and future children). But that is just my thoughts. As for what will really happen I will have to wait and see.

Ooops - almost forgot. My hubby is just starting his 2nd year of a 5 year general surgery residency which will then be followed by a 3 year plastics fellowship!!

YEAH!!!