Nanny Christmas Gift/Bonus?

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I have a question and know we have many fabulous childcare gurus in our midst.

We want to get our nanny something for Christmas. She's literally the only thing that keeps me working with all my insane travel, etc. and if I couldn't trust her completely, 100% with my child, I wouldn't be able to do it. There really aren't words to communicate how much I love her.

Because I work in consulting, I may (or may not) receive a Christmas bonus. Word on the street is that there will be decent bonuses this year. Every penny is earmarked for DH's loans but I do want to carve out money to reward her because she rocks my world. What is appropriate? Is there any concern that being really generous this year would be bad if we had to be less generous next year? I would always give her a bonus if I receive one but if I didn't get one, there isn't anything extra to pay her.

What about a non-monetary gift? Should I also get her a gift in addition to any financial one so that she knows that we actually put time/effort into getting her a gift? If so, what? A restaurant gift cert? Target? Birchbox? I usually prefer to give non-gift certificate gifts but I also recognize that not everyone has the same taste and I want her to feel happy and rewarded.

[Pollyanna]

I would give her 2 weeks salary (if you can swing it) and a special something you know she would like (i.e.: a pretty scarf, nice purse, jewelry, something for her home, etc.)

[Deebs]

I think cash or a gift card is nice in addition to something personal. Lands end has monogram able gloves, scarves, throws, bags, etc that are really cute. One of my favorite gifts when I was babysitting a ton was an ornament with the kids' picture on it. Maybe that sounds strange, but think about how much time she spends with your DD. when I pull that out every year, it brings back really happy memories with that family.

[GrayMatterWife]

I would give her 2 weeks salary (if you can swing it) and a special something you know she would like (i.e.: a pretty scarf, nice purse, jewelry, something for her home, etc.)

Yes. Two weeks' salary. I always did this when DS had a nanny.

[L.Jane]

wow. two weeks salary would be amazing. My families are different every year. I usually get something from 50-100 bucks. I am always thrilled with the 50 buck target gift card or the $100 check. I understand that the families aren't rolling in dough and any extra little gift is always appreciated. Although I have gotten random gifts that are about 50 bucks to things I really never spend on, like Itunes and enough for one ticket to a show at the local amphitheater. Honestly the more generic the gift card is (ie target) the better. If you want to do something personal, my family this year baked me cookies. I thought it was sweet.

[BonBon]

I've always given a week's pay and a gift, usually fun stuff from Sephora or what not.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

We could maybe swing two weeks salary this year but that wouldn't be every year - is that ok? Two weeks salary is a TON of money. She's well worth it but let's just say we don't pay her $250 a week...so it's a LOT. My only fear is that she would be disappointed if I couldn't do that every year.

[L.Jane]

I wont deny, it is disappointing when some years are less then others, but I understand sometimes thats the way it goes. Its whatever you feel comfortable with.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Is there a way that you could budget for that amount (or close to) every year - even if it's literally keeping cash in an envelope? Also, she hasn't been with you for a full year - so I would hesitate to give her a "full" bonus - she may expect double next year, you know...

2wks out of 50 is 4% - so maybe 4% of what she's been paid this year?

[Deebs]

Ooh - I like the percentage calculation. Also, while monetary gifts are awesome, don't underestimate the value of a heartfelt note to go with it.

[GrayMatterWife]

FWIW, maybe my response was unusual.

We paid our nanny VERY well.

She had two weeks' paid vacation. I paid her gas and mileage if she drove anywhere. If she took the kids out (her daughter was also at home) I paid for all their meals and admissions. She was on salary not hourly, except for before 8:00AM and after 7:00 PM (before 8:00AM and after 7:00 PM, she was paid additional in the amount of what her 40-hour a week rate would be plus 50%). She occasionally got random paid days off when I took a day off work. I tipped her every week. Plus, because she worked from her home (not mine), she was an independent contractor, and I did not have to do nanny tax withholding--and I also did not take any deduction for childcare services. So, whether she reported her (all cash) income was entirely up to her.

She didn't ask for this stuff--she was very business naive, honestly. One time I forgot on Friday to bring her cash for that week--she said not to worry about it--I could pay her on Monday. I very firmly told her that she was NOT to do that--she needed to stand up for herself and say, "That's fine. Why don't you just run home and get it?" Another time, when I approached her about a raise after a year of service, I asked her what SHE thought her raise should be. She said, "Oh, gosh! Whatever you think! I wasn't expecting one!" NONONONONO!! I told her she should NEVER underestimate her own worth--she'll only be paid the least anyone can every get away with! I MADE her sit down and figure out what would be a good raise and why. ((eyeroll--I hope someday, she'll remember that lesson and use it to her advantage...))

She was 22 and very sweet and just so shocked that she could earn money while taking care of her own daughter that I am pretty sure I could have paid her a lot less. However, I wanted to treat her well. I had a very demanding schedule. There were days when I dropped off DS at 6:00AM and did not pick him up until 9:00PM. That was the deal that I struck with her--she was basically at my beck and call in terms of hours, but I paid her well for them and did not take advantage of them (for example, I did not leave DS with her late into the evening just so I could go out to dinner with DH--she was a nanny so I could work).

[Chrisada]

Wow, you all are great! When I did home daycare for one family ( so I was almost like their nanny). The mother, a physician, got me a soft cover novel... And didn't give it to me until January.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

GMW, I could have written your post.

She's had 3 weeks paid vacation a year, gets paid even when I take dd on business trips, I pay for every outing, she uses my car if she takes dd on outings, gets paid extra for hours beyond 40 per week, etc

And for that, she's at my mercy (which is usually quite reasonable) which means I gave her one days notice today that I need her 5 am to 9 pm tomorrow night. I had a business trip come up last minute and she's got it covered.

So, I think what I'm hearing is 2 weeks plus a gift. I dont think the chance that I can't be generous next year means that I shouldn't do it if we can this year. I'll just have to communicate that.

GRU, not a bad idea on stashing cash although every cent of monthly income will go to loans starting in Jan. I could borrow from my parents if I really had I though to give her something nice each year.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Are you doing IBR? Also, have you looked into childcare costs being taken out pre-tax? I don't know how that works since she's an individual and not a daycare center.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Are you doing IBR? Also, have you looked into childcare costs being taken out pre-tax? I don't know how that works since she's an individual and not a daycare center.

I haven't looked in a while but I remember thinking we wouldn't qualify for IBR. We have a number of additional expenses every month that I'm not comfortable discussing in this forum that take all our income every month once the loans kick in but my salary is such that I don't believe we qualify because those expenses are not recognized for tax purposes (they're in the form of "gifts").