Is it bad...

[Stella]

Michael called to inform me that he found out about the site during his orientation, not from SDN! So uh... I wonder how many people from his med school are lurking the board....?

[planet]

Really? Where did the orientation people hear about it from?

[Stella]

I have noooooooooo idea.

[DCJenn]

Well it's about f-ing time that at least one medical school realizes that it's not all roses and pearls and that they better promote the "your spouse may need some support" thing.

Now we we could broadcast the, "No, actually, we don't get to pick our vacation dates/call schedule/time off" we'd all be set.

Jenn

[planet]

Sometimes schools and hospitals realize it and...nobody cares. We had a speaker from the spouse group talk at the GME luncheon. She opened her talk telling the residents to sit back because she was going to speak to the SO's, then on a quick show of hands we learned that not a single resident brought their SO to the luncheon (to which families were invited). :huh:

[planet]

As far as Jem's question goes...I'm not sure if I told dh or he found out or what. At first I was a lurker and he wasn't around so there wasn't anything to tell really. Now, he 'says' he's supportive, but really, not. He resents when I go online and sees it as me wasting time. So I told him that's how I see his napping. We don't discuss it anymore.

[Vishenka69]

DH actually shoved me into the site, in the hopes that I stop whining to him and do it to other people. Little did he know that I'd use this site to back up my arguments during fights.

[Mrs. McPads]

I just asked mine what he thought. He said he is supportive. Because I don't yell at him when he gets home. So, that works for me!

Eileen

I throughly enjoyed reading all your posts.

To this day, DH still doesn't know. I don't think it is a big deal, but it really is a little escape for me. I think he may be onto to me though. I may mention it to him casually one of these days.

[Lo]

I've only mentioned it once when all the sudden we got christmas cookies and christmas cards in the mail from people he didn't know...and ever since then he calls it my support group...although I did lurk for a while when we were in the crunch time for our wedding..but I'm back now

I told my SO about iMSN when we first started dating and I think he was impressed that I was looking into what it would be like to date a resident. He liked that I was serious enough to try to prep myself for our relationship.

Last week, at the grocery store, I asked my SO if he ever wonders about the future, because I do. I wonder what things will be like when we're married, have kids, when he's a fellow. I wonder how I"ll handle it all and if I"ll have the same kind of attitude towards his work (which at this point, residency is not affecting us). I wonder this because some members have said "99% of us thought we were stronger than surgery". So in ten years, I'll either look back and say "What was the big deal?" or "Boy, was I a naive stupid little girl" but my guess is that I will become like the 99% of spouses and will have difficulties.

I insinuated that down the road things might be harder, and I might change as a person. So he kind of scolded me... he said "Why would you even think you're going to be a worse person? We have the future so that we can become better people" and he basically told me he didn't want me reading about all the negative stories on here because it's just putting bad thoughts into my head.

But then he'll ask me if I heard anything interesting on iMSN. So I think he's somewhere in the middle.

[peggyfromwastate]

I think that DH thought that at times too (about the negative stories "jading" me). But now that we're really getting to the crux of the intern year, I think that he is happy that I have the support group here.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. He can try to ban me, but what's he going to do. Quit his job to watch my computer usage every day?

That's what I think too... right now I like seeing different points of view, but I think it will all truly make sense once we're in that crux as well.

I told DH that the iMSN crew can really put a good spin on things and give me new perspectives- like my issue with having to move in the future. I've come to terms with that possibility and I've accepted it, I got a new attitude about it thanks to some great insights and advice.

So for now I'm staying, even though I might waver in and out of lurkdom.

[Flynn]

Anyway, it doesn't matter. He can try to ban me, but what's he going to do. Quit his job to watch my computer usage every day?

I insinuated that down the road things might be harder, and I might change as a person. So he kind of scolded me... he said "Why would you even think you're going to be a worse person? We have the future so that we can become better people" and he basically told me he didn't want me reading about all the negative stories on here because it's just putting bad thoughts into my head.

Different person does not = worse person. Who of us wants to be the same person we were 10 years ago? Experience changes all of us. Whether your experience will be the same or even similar to anothers is only something that time will tell, but it certianly doesn't mean that someone who acknowledges the changes they've been through is always worse off.