Need to vent for a second!

[samssugarmomma]

That sucks! I wish I has some ideas to offer!

[madeintaiwan]

That stinks. I am sorry. I would definitely call the GME office. It may not change things but I think they should know the strains that they are putting on their residents and their families.

[Mrs. McPads]

Oh goodness! This sounds awful. How can they do that? Did you end up finding out if you were missing something?!

Eileen

[planet]

He takes the max exemptions as it is. We are now paying 4x--repeat 4x-more for health insurance over what we were paying last year, and it is crappy insurance. I told him to take me off and we would wing it for a year or so, but the program will not allow him to make any changes. Honestly, I don't think they have any idea what they are doing.

I just got a call back from a mortgage company. I sent my resume in about 2 months ago, and I never expected a call back. I just don't know what to do. I have a child on the verge of being diagnosed with autism, and he is going to be going through lots of testing this fall, so I'm not sure how I can go back to work. Then again, I don't see us making it if I don't. This just sucks!

Have you asked the GME office about your insurance options? I know they may have certain restrictions about how much coverage your husband has to have, but it *might* be cheaper to find something seperate for you and the kids. Do you know if this has anything to do with the autism? If so it is totally not ok to do and you can make a stink about it. I'd ask some other resident families and find out if the rise is universal. I also understand if because of a pre-existing LD another company might end up being a more expensive option too, in which case it might be wise to figure out your insurance situation before getting a firm diagnosis. There are some residency loans out there. Look at them carefully though because some companies are sharks. I'm more on the side of staying home and being an advocate for your kid over taking the job, at least until you know you have the resources and needs met to feel like someone else is doing that job. But I guess it is a pick your stress situation. ALso you probably have to consider if your driving for work is going to further increase your car insurance. Good luck on all fronts.

Additional thoughts:

Ditto for looking into a government program along with Parents As Teachers for early intervention. In Missouri it was called First Steps, that PAT could referr you to. You have to have an evaluation in your home to see if you qualify for their services which are free. I did this with my daughter but her, but she wasn't 50% in gross motor and 50% delayed in fine motor so she didn't qualify. It took a few weeks to get an apt and about 2 weeks to get the evaluation, so about a month to get the end report that she wouldn't quailfy. We didn't think she would anyway but it still took awhile to sort out. BUT Missouri has some of the strictest standards to pass for their services due to the lack of funding. The therapy is done in your home, for free, which is HUGE, and of course is costly.

Also about asking for support groups, you could see what support groups for autism family there are that have monthly meetings. They would be an EXCELLANT place to find out where you can get counceling for the fiscal and emotional impact of having and LD child can be. There could be come grants or fundings that you could qualify for that are from private sources that could be helpful. Also these support groups can help with issues like finding babysitters who have experiance with children with autism. I knew a mom who had to use a special service to help find care for her autistic son as she couldn't do what other moms could, like using the YMCA daycare to just work out. The simplest things are SSOOO much harder to work around for parents with LD. These things if you dig around there are programs, services and more that you can utilize to help you out for just the daily issues.

And QUESTION FOR RESIDENT & ATTENDING SPOUSES, INPUT PLEASE:

I know of people whom have said that families came to the resident programs with issues that severally inpacted their families, like insurance. I've heard some programs have helped with some extra money allotment for insurance. So is it possible for this mom's DH to come to the program director and tell them of the financial problems they are dealing with, and being forced to have the mom get a job to help care for the kids and for her son's LD needs. I have heard some PD will try to work with $$ for residents cause the bottomline for them is = to have sucessful residents who don't pull out of the program leaving and empty space, which looks bad for the program. Anyway this is probably far fetched as many of us pay alot for insurance and don't get any extra help. I know with a past question here about insurance cost that we pay more than $100 a month over most programs that members here pay, for the most basic insurance packange, and I don't expect it to get any better either. I'm just trying to brainstorm on what avenues could be sought out.

[madeintaiwan]

Along the lines with what Julie said. Again I would definitely contact the GME and who ever runs your department. The program that one of our friends were in, got together and complained about the cost of health insurance and the department ended up paying for their medical. They took away some of their educational allowance but I honestly rather have the insurance paid for. To me health insurance paid being paid (fully or partially) is worth way more than 300-1000 a year educational allowance. Maybe I am wrong in my thinking, we are lucky that we can use MIL's 500$ a year book allowance. I would go express your displeasure and new financial burden to them. Afterall that isn't the contract he signed, right?

[MDPhDWife]

Our oldest daughter had severe developmental delays which we thought for sure would be diagnosed with autism. She got early intervention services which they came out to the house for free and there was no income qualification. She was in that program until she was 3 and then she began with a program called Child Find. Depending on the severity of the child's delay, they either have a home therapy or a classroom (pre-school) type setting. We saw MAJOR results with the classroom setting. She stayed there for 2 years and had so much progress she was able to enter a regular Kindergarten classroom with minimal special ed services. Halfway into her Kindergarten year, she was dropped from special ed because she no longer qualified for their services!!! She's now in the 1st grade and doing great.

I can tell you that children who have autistic behaviors, they need a LOT of structure and predictability. It's probably not the best time to go back to work. Maybe if he gets into the preschool program for LD children, you could work pt while he's in school. I would also go to and raise issues with the PD to see if anything can be done.

Our oldest daughter had severe developmental delays which we thought for sure would be diagnosed with autism. She got early intervention services which they came out to the house for free and there was no income qualification. She was in that program until she was 3 and then she began with a program called Child Find. Depending on the severity of the child's delay, they either have a home therapy or a classroom (pre-school) type setting. We saw MAJOR results with the classroom setting. She stayed there for 2 years and had so much progress she was able to enter a regular Kindergarten classroom with minimal special ed services. Halfway into her Kindergarten year, she was dropped from special ed because she no longer qualified for their services!!! She's now in the 1st grade and doing great.

I can tell you that children who have autistic behaviors, they need a LOT of structure and predictability. It's probably not the best time to go back to work. Maybe if he gets into the preschool program for LD children, you could work pt while he's in school. I would also go to and raise issues with the PD to see if anything can be done.

That is AWESOME!!! It's incredible what some children are able to work past with some really good intervention!

Thank you all so much for the advice!

Here's our son's story, in brief. He's been "different" all his life, but his drs have been very hesitant to call it autism. He has been in special education (first preschool, then kindergarten, and now 1st grade) since he was 3. Now that he is almost 6.5, his pedi is now saying that he would have out-grown his quirks instead of them staying the same, and in some cases worsening. We finally got insurance approval to have him go through neuropsych testing. This should tell us if we are dealing with autism, MR, or something else we haven't thought of yet. My DH and I don't think DS is MR--he can read a bit already and seems to handle the level of school work, so far anyway. He has had an IEP in place since age 3, and he is getting most of the services I think he needs through the school district. I want him to get more occupational and speech therapy, but our insurance will not cover these services unless it is for rehabilitation. So, I'm going to have to fight the school system to get these increased. The school district wants to label him autistic, and we have hesitated until now. According to school testing in 2 states, he does qualify, but we have never had the medical community back an autism dx up until now.

I don't know if I am using this as an excuse not to go back to work, but DS still gets so upset when DH goes to work. He is now waking up and crawling in bed with us every night to make sure DH is there. I don't know how he would take it if I was gone a lot too.

Forgot to add--I didn't know there were cost-of-living loans out there. Anyone know who to contact?

I'm afraid we are about maxed out as far as credit goes. The economy sucks here, and our house is now worth about $20,000 less than it was last year when we bought it, so home equity loans are also out.

Boy, I'm painting a cheery picture, aren't I? Most of the time things have a way of working out, but it is getting tighter and tighter.

[peggyfromwastate]

You do have a lot on your plate!