I am in a relationship with a wonderful man: he's a CA1 (I think that's what I want to call it) and a very dedicated guy. Lately though, his call schedule is really getting to him: he's irritable, moody and tired all the time. He makes time for me, but then complains about how he should be doing other things. Often, he falls asleep. And it's left me feeling less than important - I am very supportive, but I felt like an emotional punching bag having to deal with all his negativity.
I suggested we do more planning, so that he can do what he needs to do (read, work out, etc) and not make me feel bad about the fact that he chose to hang out with me instead. I.E. Not impromptu hanging out, but planned time that's just about us.
This didn't go over well - he thought I was lecturing him and that I didn't appreciate all the time he does spend with me. I didn't mean to make it about that, and it's not what I was inferring, but... *sigh*
He told me that this first year would be the craziest, and that it's supposed to get better.
I want to be there to support him, but it's hard when he's irritated and takes his day out on me.
Or falls asleep.
I need advice, and I need support from someone outside of all this. I'm in the middle of a grad program myself, and I feel ill equipped to really know what to do.
Thank you!
I suggested we do more planning, so that he can do what he needs to do (read, work out, etc) and not make me feel bad about the fact that he chose to hang out with me instead. I.E. Not impromptu hanging out, but planned time that's just about us.
This didn't go over well - he thought I was lecturing him and that I didn't appreciate all the time he does spend with me. I didn't mean to make it about that, and it's not what I was inferring, but... *sigh*
He told me that this first year would be the craziest, and that it's supposed to get better.
I want to be there to support him, but it's hard when he's irritated and takes his day out on me.
Or falls asleep.
I need advice, and I need support from someone outside of all this. I'm in the middle of a grad program myself, and I feel ill equipped to really know what to do.
Thank you!
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