Baby or wedding?

[Chrisada]

DS2 is four months now and is exclusively breastfed. He will not take a bottle, but today I finally got him to take sippy cup with formula. Well I left DS with DH and he screamed the point of hyper ventilating and would not take the sippy cup. apparently he will only take it from me. Whenever I left him with my parents he has always cried the whole time. Well today was the first time when I actually saw it first hand. When I got home he literally could not catch a breath because of how hard he was crying. I know this is probably because he is with me all day and is breastfed. I'm supposed to go to my Godbrother's wedding at the end of September and am now having second thoughts. We would be gone for several hours. At least four. Is it fair for my father and DS1 to listen to him cry the whole time? Is it fair for me to leave my breastfed baby knowing how upset he will be? I have left him before, but like I said, I didn't know the extent of his crying until today. It actually broke my heart seeing him in such distress. I'm not even sure if I could enjoy myself knowing he is crying the whole time. BTW the wedding is for adults only. What do you all think?

Never been in quite that position -- DW exclusively bf'ed our 3 kids, but they would take EBM in a sippy/bottle from me or other people too. That said, we probably would have sent regrets if invited to an adults-only wedding when our kids were that little. (It never came up.)

I remember DW was maid of honor to her sister when our first daughter was 8 months, and that was pretty stressful for both mom and baby. I remember keeping K during the pictures which seemed like forever (was probably only six hours) and then bringing her to the reception to nurse, with the three of us in a little storage closet in the back of the building for privacy (because of course the bridesmaid dress had to be half-taken-off in order to get access.) Fun times!

[Deebs]

DH and I were in a wedding two hours from our house when DS was four months old. I honestly couldn't even figure out a way logistically to be away from DS for the entire weekend because even if he would have taken formula, I would have had to leave the wedding several times to pump, which IMO is much more difficult than just feeding the baby. My parents came to where the wedding was (I have great parents - 7 hours from their house), and stayed in the same hotel so that I could just come up and feed DS when needed. DD thought it was a great vacation with Grandma and Grandpa, and I had huge piece of mind. Don't know if you have someone that could watch the baby, not at the wedding, but very close to the wedding, but I would DEFINITELY try this option again. Otherwise, I would have a hard time leaving the baby.

[Meenah]

Could you pump and put the breast milk in a bottle?. Have your DH offer it to him several times between now and the wedding. OR, have your DH meet you halfway through the wedding at a convenient time, and breastfeed.

[Chrisada]

I have been having a hard time pumping enough milk. I guess I could try it again. The wedding is about 30 miles away at a reception hall, so it's not really plausible to have my father bring the baby for me to feed. I've left him with my father for a long period, like four hours and he did cry the entire time. The crying actually doesn't bother my father, but it is very hard for me as a mother. This is difficult.

[Meenah]

I would probably just skip the wedding if you don't make any progress with a bottle between now and then.

[poky]

If you don't really WANT to go to the wedding, think of this as a great excuse and send your regrets and don't go and don't worry about it.

If you do, I'd ask the couple how much of a pain it would be to let them know a week before whether you can be there or not; if they're OK with that, I'd spend some time between now and then continuing to try to get him used to you not being there every single second. You've got over 6 weeks for him to grow and change, and it may be much easier on you both by then.

[Chrisada]

I know they have to put their head count in by the 10th. I would really like to be there, but after talking to my mother, I think it would be best if I just not attend. The mother of the groom is my mom's best friend, and she really wanted me to be there,but hopefully she'll understand.

Can you bring him with you? I know it's adults only, but usually babies who aren't mobile are still welcome.

[Chrisada]

I'll probably call my aunt this weekend with regrets and see if she offers for him to come along.

[houseelf]

Ugh. I so feel your pain. My first two eventually tried to refuse the bottle all together. I worked, so this was not an option. All babies cave in at some point, it is just getting to that point that is hell. Even after my two first babies took the bottle at day care, they still tended to cluster feed at night to get their food from their preferred source.

Your son will be fine, no baby will starve himself. I have questioned several pediatricians about it. However, it will be stressful for all others involved. This is the dilema. Stress to the caretaker that this is what is going to happen and they need to be calm, calm, calm.

Anyway, let us know what you decide.

Kelly

[GrayMatterWife]

Rejecting a bottle is about rejecting the offer of comfort, not the food. As someone else wrote, no baby will starve himself. But, on the other hand, babies can be extremely willful and particular when it comes to the person who provides them comfort (and, relatedly, is the preferred feeder). Go to the wedding. You have six weeks to prepare. Start leaving him with someone else for small periods, allowing him to get used to the idea and then learning to take comforting from someone else. You might try leaving a supersoft blanket with him, that smells like you (you've slept on or something).

I hope you are able to take her along! That would be so much easier.

[Chrisada]

You know what. DH and I would really like a fun evening together. My aunt said we could bring the baby to the wedding, but the bride wants NO children at the reception. So I think I'm going to try really hard to pump enough milk and get him used to taking it from someone else. The wedding is on the 31st, so I only have a few weeks.

[Deebs]

If you start pumping at the same time every day, you will build up your supply and start to get more. Pumping is definitely its own art - with DD, I woke up daily at 4am after she was sleeping through the night to ensure I would have enough for work. Good luck!