After infatuation

After the new love phase has worn off, how open are you to a person's flaws? Do you up and leave them after you see something that you do not like? Or do you self reflect, understand your own flaws and move along with the relationship? What event would determine which route that you would take in these cases?


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[HouseofWool]

A marriage really is work - it takes sacrifice on both sides, a willingness to love each other both in spite of and because of our flaws. That said, I am in the process of separating from my husband because of his unwillingness to take me and our children into account in his actions. I hung in there for more than 10 years and he became more selfish and self-absorbed as time went on. However, I think E's case is extreme and is definately exacerbated by an underlying anxiety disorder.

What is happening to prompt these questions... Medicine is a cruel mistress who can make the best of us jealous and petty at times.

Re: After infatuation

What is happening to prompt these questions...

Is this a question for me to answer?

[rainbabies]

Is this a question for me to answer?

Of course it is! And you know that. *eyeroll*

[DCJenn]

Hey Bama-

Would you be horribly insulted if I said that some of your posts seem more about writing a thesis on the medical marriage?

How about a little more about YOU, too.

as for your question, We're about to hit 10 years of marriage so clearly we're accepting of each other's flaws. Well, he would be if I had any.

Jenn

[weeniegeniewife]

Hey Bama-

Would you be horribly insulted if I said that some of your posts seem more about writing a thesis on the medical marriage?

How about a little more about YOU, too.

Agreed.

Re: After infatuation

What prompts these questions? That's easy to answer, thos is a forum, right? that's why I ask questions

If I'm doing it wrong will someone please show me the correct way to participate?


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Re: After infatuation

Hey Bama-

Would you be horribly insulted if I said that some of your posts seem more about writing a thesis on the medical marriage?

How about a little more about YOU, too.


Jenn

Not insulted at all, how can the 3 or 4 questions that I have asked make it seem as if I'm writing a thesis? If there are topics that shouldn't be talked about pls let me know

And as for getting to know more about "me" pls refer to my intro thread and ask me whatever you like...

[poky]

If I'm doing it wrong will someone please show me the correct way to participate?

We are showing you. Look around, participate in other people's threads, answer questions, observe what other people are doing, the general tone of interaction. There aren't very many hypothetical conversations on this board, so when someone we know nothing about starts several emotionally-charged hypothetical conversations, it seems...odd.

[Thirteen]

We are showing you. Look around, participate in other people's threads, answer questions, observe what other people are doing, the general tone of interaction. There aren't very many hypothetical conversations on this board, so when someone we know nothing about starts several emotionally-charged hypothetical conversations, it seems...odd.

It does tend to raise a flag.

Re: After infatuation

If I'm doing it wrong will someone please show me the correct way to participate?

We are showing you. Look around, participate in other people's threads, answer questions, observe what other people are doing, the general tone of interaction. There aren't very many hypothetical conversations on this board, so when someone we know nothing about starts several emotionally-charged hypothetical conversations, it seems...odd.

O just like those type of questions, the same way you all do t know me, I don't know you... I've looked at other threads on the board, I even posted in some of them.

I'm not here to cause any trouble...

Re: After infatuation

We are showing you. Look around, participate in other people's threads, answer questions, observe what other people are doing, the general tone of interaction. There aren't very many hypothetical conversations on this board, so when someone we know nothing about starts several emotionally-charged hypothetical conversations, it seems...odd.

It does tend to raise a flag.

What raises a flag exactly? How does a person who wants to participate on a forum raise a flag? I just happen to like hypothetical questions

[DCJenn]

Here's the deal-

We've had several unfortunate experiences with people who were not as they seemed on the board- some were reporters, some were trolls, and some were malicious for whatever reason.

We've been hacked by Eastern Europeans, we've had people threaten to sue.

As a group we're very protective- with good reason- we're discussing our relationships and medicine is a very small world. Very.

So, hypothetical questions tend to make us raise our virtual eyebrows. 95% of the time the person asking the hypothetical question is 1) writing a craptastic story of the medical lifestyle and we're not fitting into their preconceived notions of bonbon eating spouses 2) is in the midst of a major marriage crisis and needs help but wants to keep people at arms length or 3) is the physician spouse trying to figure out what their spouse wants/needs or 4) is a troll from another physican/medical related site who is trying to cause trauma and drama for reasons known only to them.

That's why.

jenn

[Thirteen]

Jenn, as always, you are much better at saying things than I am.

Re: After infatuation

Well thanks for clearing it all up, i'm none of those things that you've mentioned... But I'm pretty sure with the history of the site you probally don't believe me...

I'm just a guy that came across the site and thought that it was interesting due to the nature of it.


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