Question for Catholics

[oceanchild]

Whether he can take communion isn't technically discretionary, but it usually ends up being discretionary. Like much of Catholicism, there are rules and there is practice. And practice varies a LOT from parish to parish. I'm sorry they're giving him a hard time.

[v-girl]

I love Google.

How Convalidation Works:
7 Steps Toward Blessing
To obtain the Church's blessing or a marriage that was not Catholic can be relatively easy. Follow these basic steps:
1. Contact the local parish for an appointment with the pastor or his delegate to discuss the situation and determine what must be done.
2. Obtain a new copy of the baptismal record for the Catholic party (or for each person, if both are Roman Catholic). Make that request to the parish where the person was baptized, indicating the name of the individual (as well as the names of the parents), date of birth and approximate date of the Baptism. Since this is a standard procedure for Catholic parishes, the copy should be forthcoming almost immediately.
3. If necessary, seek a Church declaration of nullity. (See "Getting Ready for Convalidation" above.) A favorable decision is needed before a convalidation can be scheduled.
4. Complete the necessary paperwork (marriage investigation, inquiry form or premarital document) with the pastor or his delegate.
5. Determine the date, time and most suitable type of service. Your priest will help you determine how elaborate the service should be.
6. Celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation before the convalidation ceremony. Quite often, people who were not married in the Church have not been to Confession for a long time. They may not remember how to confess or may be uneasy because of their long absence from this sacrament.The form and words are not important for Confession; it is what is in the heart that counts.
Two booklets of mine that could make this step easier and more meaningful for you are Why Go to Confession? Questions and Answers About Sacramental Reconciliation and Meeting the Merciful Christ: How to Go to Confession (St. Anthony Messenger Press).
To reduce any uneasiness about going to Confession, I recommend the following: After entering the confessional and hearing the priest say a short prayer, say, "Father, I haven’t been to Confession in a long time. I was not married in the Church, but we will be having our marriage blessed in the next few days. I am not exactly sure when I confessed the last time and don’t remember very well how to do this. But I am sorry. I want to make a new start. Would you help me?"
No doubt the priest will be delighted to assist and send the forgiven person away with a heart as light as a feather.
7. Plan a joyful get-together that will follow the liturgical blessing to celebrate the Church’s recognition of the marriage.

[moonlight]

This is why I thought that he should be able to receive communion. He is catholic, and they are baptizing their child in the catholic church (and they were married in -I am assuming- a christian church).
And is there an actual formality in getting your marriage blessed?

Fr Michael is telling us that DH first needs to get confirmed in this class.. that ends right before Palm Sunday. Then we can start the marriage process. He is sufficiently convinced that we don't need to go through the marriage prep classes. Other than that I'm not sure what hoops we'll have to get the marriage done/blessed. After the marriage is blessed THEN DH can take communion again.

He asked us for a copy of our marriage license. He asked my religion and I told him Southern Baptist and if I was baptized and of course I told him yes.(this was all asked during the class in private) He also asked us why we didn't marry in the Catholic church. I think we passed the test?? LOL! This process is somewhat difficult because I don't really understand it. FYI we were married in a Southern Baptist church but he didn't ask about that detail. He'll know when he reads the marriage license this week. And I have no plans to convert...

[Ladybug122]

Late chiming in...but my experience has been this: For DS's baptism, we had to bring in proof of baptism and confirmation for both of us, as well as each of the Godparents. The godparents also had to prove that they were members of a parish. I have since learned that only 1 Godparent needs to be Catholic... The Godparents had to go to some Godparent preparation class as well (it was like 2 evenings) where they go over the responsibilities of being a Godparent in the Catholic Church.

[MarissaNicole]

Late chiming in...but my experience has been this: For DS's baptism, we had to bring in proof of baptism and confirmation for both of us, as well as each of the Godparents. The godparents also had to prove that they were members of a parish. I have since learned that only 1 Godparent needs to be Catholic... The Godparents had to go to some Godparent preparation class as well (it was like 2 evenings) where they go over the responsibilities of being a Godparent in the Catholic Church.

Wow that seems really strict to me! I know lots of churches will ask (if the Godparents are catholic)... but what a pain to have to show proof and attend classes!

[moonlight]

Wow that seems really strict to me! I know lots of churches will ask (if the Godparents are catholic)... but what a pain to have to show proof and attend classes!

Ladybug got me a little worried. I called the church in S.C. (not our church here in N.C.) and asked if we needed to bring the godparents with us to the parent class or if they (the godparents) had a class to attend or if I needed to bring anything/paperwork with us. She said no to all!! Yay!

[MrsC]

Fr Michael is telling us that DH first needs to get confirmed in this class.. that ends right before Palm Sunday. Then we can start the marriage process. He is sufficiently convinced that we don't need to go through the marriage prep classes. Other than that I'm not sure what hoops we'll have to get the marriage done/blessed. After the marriage is blessed THEN DH can take communion again.

He asked us for a copy of our marriage license. He asked my religion and I told him Southern Baptist and if I was baptized and of course I told him yes.(this was all asked during the class in private) He also asked us why we didn't marry in the Catholic church. I think we passed the test?? LOL! This process is somewhat difficult because I don't really understand it. FYI we were married in a Southern Baptist church but he didn't ask about that detail. He'll know when he reads the marriage license this week. And I have no plans to convert...

We're in the same position. We got married in a civil ceremony and will be getting married in a Catholic church in 18 months. Right now, in the eyes of the church, we are not married.
Thechnically, all you need to get married is for your DH to be confirmed and you to be baptised as a Christian. You don't have to convert, just promise to raise your children Catholic.

It would be ridiculous for him to request that you two take the prep course since you're already married but he may.
I'm hoping since our priest is a relative and pretty laid back, he won't ask us to do this. He's good that way.

[Pollyanna]

For anyone with specific questions about the Catholic Faith this is a great site http://forums.catholic.com/ . Look under "Ask an Apologist" in the forums. They have the answers to practically any question you can come up with.

[moonlight]

For anyone with specific questions about the Catholic Faith this is a great site http://forums.catholic.com/ . Look under "Ask an Apologist" in the forums. They have the answers to practically any question you can come up with.

Thanks for posting that. I also wanted to thank all the lovely ladies on here that have been so nice to share their IRL experiences.