Restaurant staff etiquette

[rainbabies]

Yep, me too. Honestly, I am just happy to be out at a restaurant so if a waiter is too chatty or not would never even be on my radar.

ditto to Luanne and Tara. I'd rather have a nice person...than a stuck up ass, who thinks they're better than me. Um...hello? You're a *waitress*. I'm a dawkters wife.

kidding...
But I do feel really small when someone is snooty and obviously looking down their nose at me. And I don't mind an introduction/suggestion/checking on me-us. But, I don't want a lifes story either.
That said, I'd never want to be a wait person. Public service is hard! Pleasing the difficult!!! Unattainable!

Sandy...where I grew up there's a huge Dutch population. maybe your mom could come chat them up

cassy: I cannot stand the honey/sweetie/baby stuff either. Drives me nuts!!! I'm NOT your honey/baby/sweetie. I'm freaking older than you, for crying out loud!!!

And while we're at it....enough with the "bless your heart" stuff. *eyeroll* NO. Bless your heart. Wasn't it Heidi who said in the south, people would say, "bless her heart" followed up with an insult?
After she pointed that out...I started paying attention more. Lol.
Overheard conversation would go like this:
"bless her heart! That poor dear. But, if she wasn't such a fat whore...she wouldn't be knocked up right now in the hospital ICU, with a heart attack. Let's pray"

seriously.

That is all.

[Meenah]

Overheard conversation would go like this:
"bless her heart! That poor dear. But, if she wasn't such a fat whore...she wouldn't be knocked up right now in the hospital ICU, with a heart attack. Let's pray"

That is so funny and so true!!!!!! I have lived on the East Coast for 20 years but grew up in MIssissippi!!!!!!!

[L.Jane]

I'm just happy if my water glass is never empty. I too hate a snobby waitress/waiter. I guess being a mid western native I want a friendly waiter. I want someone willing to answer any questions I have in a friendly manner but also knows when to disappear. Although I was out to dinner with friends the other night and the waitress was in a horrible mood. I get everyone has bad days, but she was complaining about other tables to us, which was unprofessional and very uncomfortable.

[Vishenka69]

I can't recall a single time when a snooty server made it to my radar. I guess I just don't pay that much attention to them unless they get chatty (and thus call attention to themselves). For the record, just because I don't want to talk to them doesn't mean I'm being rude or trying to make their job more difficult. Unless they totally screw up we always leave at least 15%.

There was another NYTimes article about tipping a while back. The author (I believe it was still Frank Bruni at that time) was amazed how 20% suddenly became the new standard. Majority of those commenting actually said that if you can't afford to tip that, you shouldn't be out in that restaurant in the first place.

[NYCHoosier]

This drives me nuts. It REALLY drives me nuts when they call my mom or especially my grandmother hon. Way back when my grandma was sort of with it and we took her out to dinner sometimes she would get called hon ALL THE TIME. HELLOOOOOOOO my 80-something year old dignified as all get-out WWII Navy WAVE veteran is not a hon, she's a Mrs. Wadsworth, which everyone in town knows, but if you happen to not know her name, ma'am will do just fine.

Hahaha - I think the hon thing would irk me wherever. Or any pet name. Sugar, dear, sweetie - who are you? The only pet names I feel comfortable responding to are 'babe' from DH or 'dude' from friends. Obviously if a waiter called me babe or dude I'd be a little weirded out as well.

Anyway... I've been to a couple relatively nice restaurants in NY. One was a French place where the service was impeccable. It was so well choreographed and not at all chatty. That said, I sometimes like chatty. When I'm out with friends whom I see regularly, it's fun to make small talk with the waiters.
My sorority family line has a tradition of going to a chain steak restaurant. We go once or twice a semester, and people give us a hard time because "there are so many good steak places in New York, why do you go to [chain steakhouse]??" Well, it's inexpensive and delicious. Plus, it's not like we live in the midwest, eat there every week and are only in New York for a weekend. We live in NY, if we're hungry for [chain steakhouse], we go in NY. Anyyyway, this chain tends to employ a number of midwestern waiters, so we tend to chat it up with them. They usually ask what we're celebrating, and a sometimes (because there are a lot of actors in our group), they have mutual friends.
Actually, I was out with my little (an actor) for restaurant week once, and it turns out she knew our waiter from auditions. It's really a small world.

Point of story - a good waiter should know how to read the group and should also reflect the atmosphere of the restaurant. I don't want to be at Per Se for a fancy night out with DH (no, we don't actually do this, but hypothetically!!) and have the waiter chatting us up about the Yankees game. 1) I'm a Cubs fan, 2) Um, trying to have a nice dinner here!
But, if I'm out with my girls and we're having a good time, it's fun to have a waiter who can provide good banter.

[HouseofWool]

Hmmmm - I really do need to get out more. Most of the restaurants I frequent ask "do you want fries with that?" or "is that happy meal for a boy or girl?"

[peggyfromwastate]

ANd when I was picking up the happy meals for the kids the other day, the McDonalds guy dropped my card, had to dig around to find it, and when he did and gave it back to me he actually called me *Sweetie*. I don't think anyone has ever called me sweetie, ever. So... even in the fast food joints, we can get this level of service...

I thought it was kind of funny. I mean, he was like 16, and called me sweetie. Kind of cute, like my kids calling me sweetie.

[peggyfromwastate]

That is pretty rude IMHO. That is such a personal question - like one appropriate only for close friends. Period.

When you're out in public with my entire troop, some people just *have* to know...

[BonBon]

When you're out in public with my entire troop, some people just *have* to know...

I have gotten that a LOT. People's jaws drop when I say they're all mine. I've even had some stuttering. LOL I've only got four but they're VERY close in age.

[rainbabies]

i had someone at wal mart ask me when the next one was due. i gave him a dirty look and said excuse me with a little bitch in my voice. his wife was smart enought to intervene.

[SoonerTexan]

Hmmmm - I really do need to get out more. Most of the restaurants I frequent ask "do you want fries with that?" or "is that happy meal for a boy or girl?"

Or better yet--"Can I have a boy toy with that happy meal?"

When McDonalds starts really offering boy toys, I'll be the first in line!

[HouseofWool]

I have gotten that a LOT. People's jaws drop when I say they're all mine. I've even had some stuttering. LOL I've only got four but they're VERY close in age.

I love watching when my sister and her whole family go out together. Both she and BIL have red hair as do all 4 of their kids. They, single-handedly (double-handedly?), are working to revive the red-head population.

Peggy - as for wait staff asking if you are done having kids? I just don't know what to say to that!

[HouseofWool]

Or better yet--"Can I have a boy toy with that happy meal?"

When McDonalds starts really offering boy toys, I'll be the first in line!

Hmmmm - even with my soon to be single status, I'm not so sure I'd want my boy toy from MickyD's. Would it be greasy?

[peggyfromwastate]

Peggy - as for wait staff asking if you are done having kids? I just don't know what to say to that!

I usually say, *Yes we're done. My DH got snipped!*

They turn red. Hell, I'm past caring if I embarass other people. I try not to do it within ear shot of my 13 y.o., though...