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Father's Day

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  • #31
    Gwen, this is exactly how I feel. Thank you to all of you who let me know that I am not alone in the dh sucking at giving me gifts camp. For those of you who are finished with training, is there hope, or have years of mucking it up in the past led to a "why start now" kind of sentiment.

    I'm giving my husband one year starting on July 1st. He gets one year to get our anniversary, Christmas, Valentine's Day, my birthday, and Mother's Day right. I don't ask for a lot. I just want to be acknowledged and thought of. Sappy Hallmark holiday or not, I want him to go out of his way to recognize me with a card, a small gift, a thoughtful token of appreciation...something. I don't want to have to nag, remind, beg, or plead. I want to be genuinely thought of. This means, I would like, on Christmas, for example, to not see my husband rush out the door with the kids in tow on December 24th to Target in order to purchase a gift at an inflated price that I have been hinting at for months that he could have purchased for half the amount if only he would have been thoughtful enough to do it a few weeks before on the internet. I would like for anniversary dinner plans to be made and reservations in place before the day of when I ask him about it. For Valentines, Mother's Day, and my birthday? I just want a card. Just something. So, if he manages to take some small steps in the right direction this year, I will refrain from not only buying myself lavish gifts and making him feel horrible about it by doing a dramatic production of presenting myself with my own present, but I shall also refrain from killing him yet again. Ah, my greatest gift to him....he isn't dead by my hands, and remarkably, I am still here putting up with this shit.
    Heidi, PA-S1 - wife to an orthopaedic surgeon, mom to Ryan, 17, and Alexia, 11.


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    • #32
      Well, other than the surprise pair of diamond stud earrings, purchased to assuage his guilt at buying the motorcycle that he knew I hated (and still hate) and for buying a laptop we didn't need- I have received essentially nada in the past 10 years. Certainly nothing that came from his own mind. (remember one of my gifts was that cooking class that I circled in the brochure and then added a sticky that said "if you needed an idea...)

      J

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      • #33
        I'll have to see how much DH's next paycheck is to see if I can pull off what I want to get him -- he's wanting one of those netbook laptops (the small ones). He works so hard and doesn't complain when I spend part of his income on beads, crafts, shoes, etc. It will all depend on how much moonlighting money is in that check though. Yes, he gets to pay for his own Father's Day gift! I spend years paying for my own Mother's Day and Christmas gifts (including the elliptical machine and diamond tennis bracelet -- neither of which I use much at all). ha ha!
        Veronica
        Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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        • #34
          I took C to pick out cards today. Of course, it pictured Yoda on the front and said that dad is a Master... (where is the gagging emoticon when you need it). Oh well, C loves it and I will be the bigger person because I will be hauling the kids there to see him.
          Kris

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          • #35
            Kris, good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just remember that Mother's / Father's Day is all about the kids. DH and I have been married 10 years this year. We married on my birthday, so he only has to remember one date. Of course, he has remembered only 3. As you get older, you realize that dates / holidays are really lame. I REALLY would prefer to be treated with respect all year long.
            Luanne
            wife, mother, nurse practitioner

            "You have not converted a man because you have silenced him." (John, Viscount Morely, On Compromise, 1874)

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            • #36
              Re: Father's Day

              Growing up, my dad was awful about remembering dates. It hurt my mom eventhough I know she triednot to let it show. She would pick out an outfit, show it to my sister and I and tell us her size. Then the night before or the day of whatever event, my dad would take us to the store to get it "from him." As my sister and I got older we started calling him a few days to weeks before to remind him. We even would program reminders into his PDA. Finally one year he just "got it" and now he does it on his own. And he will randomly surprise my mom. If I am remembering correctly, I think it was about 7 years of us getting whatever she picked out and about 5 of us reminding him before he got it. It was after my sister and I were both in college though. I hope none of your DHs are as clueless as my dad, but there is hope!


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
              Mom of 3, Veterinarian

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              • #37
                I could use some ideas for my mom (yes, she gets both Father's & Mother's day). Mother's Day was a stepping stone that the kids made with their pics and ABUELA on it. She loves to play with dirt! Any plant ideas -- something with pretty or unique flowers? There's one I got her 5 or 6 years ago that makes really pretty orange flowers when it blooms. She loves it! Last year my sibs & I got together and got her a pretty bench. The year before was a picnic table. We've also gotten her a dishwasher, swingset, and lots of plants. I figured the outdoor theme works well for her, but I don't know plants well. She has a banana plant, grows her own cantaloupes, can't get enough roses. Any unique plant ideas?
                Veronica
                Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by v-girl View Post
                  I could use some ideas for my mom (yes, she gets both Father's & Mother's day). Mother's Day was a stepping stone that the kids made with their pics and ABUELA on it. She loves to play with dirt! Any plant ideas -- something with pretty or unique flowers? There's one I got her 5 or 6 years ago that makes really pretty orange flowers when it blooms. She loves it! Last year my sibs & I got together and got her a pretty bench. The year before was a picnic table. We've also gotten her a dishwasher, swingset, and lots of plants. I figured the outdoor theme works well for her, but I don't know plants well. She has a banana plant, grows her own cantaloupes, can't get enough roses. Any unique plant ideas?
                  I love ornamental poppies - they are gorgeous, showy and look like the plant from "Little Shop of Horrors" until it blooms.

                  http://www.backyardgarden.info/poppy.php
                  Kris

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                  • #39
                    Thanks Kris! Those look perfect!
                    Veronica
                    Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                    • #40
                      No problem. I love them, they look like giant weeds and then the most stunning flower opens up. There is usually only one or two blooms per plant, but they are extravegant looking.
                      Kris

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                      • #41
                        Father's Day

                        Nicholas just left last weekend to spend 8 weeks with his mother. We had family phots taken before he left so I am thinking of ordering a coffee table photo book that Garrett can take with him on his aways (all of August and September.) Nick comes back a week before Garrett leaves for aways, I know it will be hard for him essentially not seeing his son for 4 months!
                        Living the Life of Intern Year...

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                        • #42
                          We agreed that Mother's/Father's Day is about the kid doing stuff for the parent, so we're waiting until DD is old enough to start making something in school/camp. Don't know what we're doing for our fathers though. For Mother's Day we paid for the portraits of DD that they picked out, may be we'll tell them that we'll pay for next round of pics in Sept.

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                          • #43
                            Today at hubby's lunch his mom asked what the plans were for Father's Day. For FIL of course. DH & I don't count for Father's & Mother's Days. I blurted out that hubby would be working so there were no plans. That was fun!
                            Veronica
                            Mother of two ballerinas and one wild boy

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                            • #44
                              My dad is getting these bookends and some shirts that he wanted. Men are always so boring to shop for!

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                              • #45
                                We just bought dh a 58" tv for his retro-fitted man cave (formerly the play room) and are having the work done to accommodate that.

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