Interesting article about couples sleeping apart

Yesterday there was an interesting article on yahoo about couples who sleep apart. The article gave a statistic that 1 in 4 couples sleeps in separate rooms. It also went on to discuss how some new homes being built are featuring dual master bedrooms! I had never heard of such a thing! Anyhow, this article really surprised me and I thought it would be an interesting topic to discuss. Do you and your spouse sleep in separate rooms? Have they ever expressed a desire to do so?

My DH is an extremely light sleeper. He often tells me that his sleep is terrible because I inadvertently wake him up, like when I come into the bedroom, even though we have a king bed.

I'm interested to hear others' thoughts about the whole sleeping in separate rooms idea.

[SuzySunshine]

Were there ages in this article? If I had to guess I would say that the 1 in 4 are older couples. My grandparents, on one side, have slept in separate rooms for as long as I can remember. My grandad snores like CRAZY! Now he is in a home and my grandmother still doesn't sleep in the bed they once shared.

DH's pager wakes me up sometimes and on crazy nights he does sleep in the guest room but it rarely happens and we don't foresee ever having separate beds.

[Thirteen]

DH's parents sleep in different rooms, but his mom gets up early for work (waking dad), and his dad snores like a hurricane (disturbing mom).
My parents snore in unison, so they cancel each other out.

I remember thinking that his parents were "weird" when I first discovered this, but I think other couples do it and it's the norm to them.
I just suffer through the 4:30a.m. alarm... sometimes. *evil laugh*

[mommax3]

Okay, even two years ago I would have seen this and thought "never", but in the past 18 months, I've thought longingly of this option. I have more and more trouble sleeping as I get older, especially when I am stressed, and unfortunately, I am stressed a lot, I guess. I fall asleep easily, but then wake up to pee, and if DH is snoring (often the case), I can't fall back asleep. I don't have the heart to wake him up.....he has gotten by on very little sleep for years now and I feel terrible depriving him of the zzzs he manages to get! Once I am awake, my mind starts racing and I start thinking about all of the things I need to do the next day. If DH didn't snore, I think I would drift back to sleep. There have been weeks when I am thankful he is at the hospital so I can sleep! We do have a guest bedroom, and I use it about twice a month. From what I hear, the next several years approaching menopause will not make sleeping any easier for me, so I am sure I will be making more and more trips to the guest room. I have tried earplugs.....didn't work.

[SoonerTexan]

My grandparents have forever...but mostly because they cant stand each other. In honestly have no idea how my father and uncle came to be. I always thought it was sad, and my newlywed self instinctively says "never," but I'm not really at the right point in marriage to judge

[GrayMatterWife]

As a married couple, we have never slept apart while we were under the same roof, except for a handful of times when one of us was so sick that the mere movement of the mattress upset the sick one so badly that it was cruel to sleep in the same bed. No matter how mad we've been at each other, we've never "kick the other one out of bed." And we don't share the bed with the kids--our play-space, thank you very much. I don't mind the pager interruptions. Sometimes, I feel like I'm useful, when he's so exhausted that the beeping doesn't wake him.

But we sleep well together, in the sense that our sleep styles complement each other. If one was a light sleeper or one was bothered by the other's snoring, I could understand wanting to sleep apart. I am glad we don't have those issues. I am at my most relaxed lying next to him.

[DCJenn]

I have to say, the best part about this year is that I 'only' have to share my bed with the dog and two cats. But they don't wake me up at the ass crack of dawn, either. In fact I have to wake the geezer dog to force him to go outside. I think he'd prefer to stay in and watch the Price is Right like my grandfather did in his old age.

But, then again, it's nice to have him there. In a dream world, the Army wouldn't start it's day at a 7:30 am morning report (even for attendings) and we would all sleep in.

Oh well- I have a year's reprieve from the alarm clock. (at least the 5:30am alarm clock- the 7:30 am alarm clock rings for me)

Jenn

[MDPhDWife]

I have a really hard time sleeping when DH isn't in bed with me or cuddling me. We are the type of couple that usually cuddle throughout the night. We do however have our habits that drive each other nuts. I am a MAJOR nightowl and it's not unusual for me to stay up to 2 AM watching TV and normally that doesn't bother DH since he's a nightowl too but lately it has because he's trying REALLY hard to get to bed at a decent time because he has to be at work so early. Now in the mornings when his alarm goes off I turn into a raging bitch because he sets it WAY earlier than he intends on getting up so he will seriously snooze for well over an hour sometimes even two. Even worse, because he'll sleep through an alarm, he'll set multiple alarms one in the bathroom that's a radio, his phone, his watch and they are staggered on the snooze so there's an alarm going off every 3-4 minutes for over an hour. Keep in mind he has to actually get up to go snooze the one in the bathroom! Ugh, he says it's because he wants to cuddle longer but it's pure torture for me.

[HouseofWool]

I have a really hard time sleeping when DH isn't in bed with me or cuddling me. We are the type of couple that usually cuddle throughout the night. We do however have our habits that drive each other nuts. I am a MAJOR nightowl and it's not unusual for me to stay up to 2 AM watching TV and normally that doesn't bother DH since he's a nightowl too but lately it has because he's trying REALLY hard to get to bed at a decent time because he has to be at work so early. Now in the mornings when his alarm goes off I turn into a raging bitch because he sets it WAY earlier than he intends on getting up so he will seriously snooze for well over an hour sometimes even two. Even worse, because he'll sleep through an alarm, he'll set multiple alarms one in the bathroom that's a radio, his phone, his watch and they are staggered on the snooze so there's an alarm going off every 3-4 minutes for over an hour. Keep in mind he has to actually get up to go snooze the one in the bathroom! Ugh, he says it's because he wants to cuddle longer but it's pure torture for me.

I think I "break" a couple of the alarms.

[Pollyanna]

As a married couple, we have never slept apart while we were under the same roof, except for a handful of times when one of us was so sick that the mere movement of the mattress upset the sick one so badly that it was cruel to sleep in the same bed. No matter how mad we've been at each other, we've never "kick the other one out of bed."

This is us too. I just cannot imagine sleeping apart when we don't have too. I also witnessed my folks and they never slept apart even though dad snored like a freight train (mom did wake him frequently to get him to stop ). Even in the end dad's hospital bed was in their bedroom right next to mom. When people told her to sleep in another room so she could rest she would always say that their time together is limited and she is not giving up even a minute with him for a little extra sleep.

[SoonerTexan]

Even worse, because he'll sleep through an alarm, he'll set multiple alarms one in the bathroom that's a radio, his phone, his watch and they are staggered on the snooze so there's an alarm going off every 3-4 minutes for over an hour. Keep in mind he has to actually get up to go snooze the one in the bathroom!

I'm guilty here...

[MDPhDWife]

I'm guilty here...

This makes me insane!

[migirl]

Generally speaking we sleep together, unless DH is on call or I happen to 7 months' pregnant in the middle of summer. The last few weeks I've been sleeping on the couch downstairs because it's the only way I can sleep comfortably!

[poky]

Now in the mornings when his alarm goes off I turn into a raging bitch because he sets it WAY earlier than he intends on getting up so he will seriously snooze for well over an hour sometimes even two. Even worse, because he'll sleep through an alarm, he'll set multiple alarms one in the bathroom that's a radio, his phone, his watch and they are staggered on the snooze so there's an alarm going off every 3-4 minutes for over an hour. Keep in mind he has to actually get up to go snooze the one in the bathroom! Ugh, he says it's because he wants to cuddle longer but it's pure torture for me.

Sheesh! Cuddling longer is no excuse to mess with somebody's sleep. Is this his way of getting back at you for staying up later than he can? Yet another case where I'm grateful for how considerate DH is. His alarm is set for when he needs to get up, and it's set on a progressive tone (so it starts quiet and gradually gets louder), and it's a gong sound. He wakes up on the first gong, turns it off, and gets up, and never wakes me up. It went off the morning he was on call (so not there), and it took a full minute for it to wake me up (and I was able to go right back to sleep). He wakes me up when he leaves, which is a slightly-early-but-not-horrible time for me to be up to get ready for work. If I stay up later than him, I'm careful to not wake him when I come to bed (and he sleeps deeply enough that that's possible).

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

They also profiled this study on the Today show a few days ago and they noted that it's not older couples, that it's couples across the board. Many said there was a reason (snoring, chronic illness, etc) but others just said that they value their sleep and it makes them better spouses.

Personally, we sleep together. During the crazy weeks when he was on surgery and I was working 8 AM-midnight it was the only time we "saw" each other. We're both very good about getting out of the bedroom and not waking each other if we have early wake-ups for surgery (him) or business trip (me).