why home maker isn't considered as useful job?

[labmouse]

I am sad. Since i moved to the US in support of my husband's residency and his life-long fav career, my family has been e-mailing me asking whether i have found a job, whether i am planning to study or planning to get a part-time job etc. My family is against me travelling so far for my husband, they think it is not worthy. Personally, i am glad and satisfied for my husband to secure a good residency spot and enjoying his career and training so far (it is tiring, but it is all worth it). I gave up my career as a lab researcher to be with him, supporting him during the hard times of moving and residency. I am not a lazy bum who hates working. As far as for now, many states in US are in recovery and many families are jobless as well as depending on social security hand-outs to feed the family or pay debts. As an alien resident, i don't see the need to fight tooth and nail to snatch jobs with the locals (As i think they need it more than me). Also, in Alabama, i see many restaurants and supermarket has closed down due to the recession. But, my parents view that i am stupid to give up my career and too lazy to find a job. I do chores at home, i cook every meal, why is a home maker not considered as a job? Why is it called lazy and nothing better to do?

[PrincessFiona]

I have reached a point of not caring what other people think. Being a homemaker is respectable. It is also a personal choice between you and your husband. You have to be happy with your life. It infuriates me when others try to force their beliefs about how you should live your life on you (or me!).

I say enjoy, and forget about them. If it really is an issue, tell them the economy sucks and there just aren't jobs.

Kris

[alison]

I'm sorry that your family isn't supportive of your decisions. FWIW, my parents view my staying at home as a luxury and that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. My dad thinks I nap all day and order our house cleaner around. He doesn't understand why I would ever need or want a baby sitter. My mil told me that I should get a job, because "daughters are always hard on their mothers if they accomplish nothing in life."

It sucks. Try to keep your chin up!

[Meenah]

I absolutely agree with what the others have said. Your husband is your immediate family now. Even if you could find a great job, the next level of medical training could mean another move and having to do it all over again. Do what works for you. You will find alot of support here.

[ladymoreta]

I agree with the other posters. Your family doesn't know or understand what the medical lifestyle is like, and as long as you and your husband are happy, then you are absolutely in the best career! I'm sorry your family isn't supportive of you, but I hope you can hold your head up high and respect the job you do.

[labmouse]

Thanks everyone for the kind words and support... Lady moreta... yes.. many do not understand the hectic life doctors have and my husband always feels very very happy to come home to a warm meal especially after post call working for 30 plus hours. People tend to think that we have comfortable lives with plenty of money to spare... In fact, one of my mum's friend who live in illinois just called to ask me about plans for thanksgiving... i was like... hmmm... working that day... no festive holidays for doctors u know... she seem shocked.. ah well...

[Lala]

I totally agree with you

Do whatever makes you happy and your husband happy. As long as you're happy and you're not hurting anyone, it's nobody's business!

I think you have to do what makes you and your family happy. Being a medical wife is extremely stressful and if you staying at home make the stress less then go for it.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

About 1/2 of our moms in DH's program are SAH, the other half are not. Both groups are very well supported here - but I know that's not the norm (people usually have very strong opinions!)