cupcake affair

[diggitydot]

This may be more normal for an "open" marriage. But, I have yet to see an "open" type of marriage last.

Wait, did I miss something? Where did LSW talk about them dating and having sexual relations with other peeps? Because that's what an "open marriage" is...

[MrsK]

This may be more normal for an "open" marriage. But, I have yet to see an "open" type of marriage last.

Tread carefully. An "open" marriage is one in which the partners are free to sleep with other people outside the marriage. I'm sure that you don't mean to imply that allowing ones spouse his independence at work is the same as allowing him to sleep around.

[MrsK]

Zoe, I'm sorry this thread had taken on a life of its own. I "get" what you are saying about wanting to be the one to celebrate special moments with your husband and to be able to make thoughtful gestures without having medicine and co-workers (however well meaning) intercept you.

[MrsK]

No. This is how "open marriage" is defined. . .

Definitions of open marriage on the Web:

•a marriage in which each partner is free to enter into extraneous sexual relationships without guilt or jealousy from the other
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

•Open Marriage was a best selling book published by M. Evans & Company in 1972 by Nena O'Neill and George O'Neill. It was on the New York Times best-seller list for 40 weeks . It has been translated into 14 languages and has sold more than 35 million copies worldwide according to the publisher.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_Marriage_(book)

•A marriage of two partners that is not sexually exclusive, but permits either or both partners to have other lovers outside of the primary relationship within the marriage.
http://www.number-one-adult-sexual-h...shipstyles.htm

•A form of polyamory relationship in which there may also be other lovers who are not partners in the given relationship. Most commonly, this refers to a primary couple who may have secondary relationships. The term "Open Marriage" was coined by the O'Neils in their 197x book by the same name. ...
www.ncpoly.org/PolyTerms.html

[diggitydot]

And, I'm saying people don't just start jumping into the sack with others to whom they are not married.

Actually, some people do precisely that.

People develop "open" marriages - they learn to tolerate behavior that destroys exclusivity in marriage. That is what I am saying.

I have a very close friend in an "open" relationship. I don't get it, but I do know that it has been "open" from the get-go and was discussed exhaustively by both parties. And that's how their other friends in "open" relationships approach it, too. There's no "slippery slope" to it as it's a conscious choice on their parts, just as fidelity and monogamy is a conscious choice made in my marriage.

[MrsK]

I don't think having friendships outside the marriage is a slippery slope to infidelity. It's a big leap to say that all our husbands will be unfaithful if we don't keep them from having friendships outside the marriage.

[labmouse]

we are lucky too!! the residency program here is a tight-knit family orientated thing and i happen to know each of the first year residents by name. Also, i hang out with some of the first year residents too (when DH is not around) and they fetch me to social events and gathering (because we only have one car). Nurses and techs in DH's program knows about each doc's marital status and would not bother if he is married. Plus, nurses are usually slightly older (ard late 30s and 40s), so i wouldn't mind since DH is 24. They are more like mums to him. On night shifts, DH told me that he lives on sugary cakes and ice-creams brought by the nurses. On the other hand, med students are the ones prowling the wards, being 'doc scouts', hunting for single and available residents. They do bring DH an occasional coffee and/or snacks. DH informs me about them and i feel it is ok as long as DH knows where is the flirting limit. Plus, as a resident, each month is a different rotation, so there is no time to built relationships with students (as there are too many and they keep changing).

But, do note that if your DH is a resident, he would love to built a good working rapture with nurses and techs as they are the ones that look out for him during call nights. Residents often tell me that if nurses love you, they would allow you to catch a wink/get reports/get bloodwork results/do small things that makes the shift easier. All in all, it is not that bad. At the beginning of each rotation, DH would buy snacks and food for the nurses to thank them for their hard work. In return, the nurses would watch his back for him. I think that is a good thing.

[diggitydot]

At the beginning of each rotation, DH would buy snacks and food for the nurses to thank them for their hard work. In return, the nurses would watch his back for him. I think that is a good thing.

Ditto around these parts. DH has taken in donuts/coffee/pizza on more than one occasion.

[weeniegeniewife]

Ditto around these parts. DH has taken in donuts/coffee/pizza on more than one occasion.

Yep, here too. I bake goodies for him to take to his OR staff once or twice a month, and he brings his office staff coffee and doughnuts on Fridays. His staff is awesome and take really good care of him.