Babysitter in my room

[Chrisada]

How would you feel about this? Last night as I was going to bed I I could not find my iPhone charger, which is always plugged next to the bed. DH says he did not move it. So I finally find it plugged in downstairs. DH said I must have have moved it because he's sure the babysitter would not go into our room. I did not move it. I ask the four-year-old about it and he says the babysitter needed my charger so she went into my room to get it. He said he did not tell her it was in my room. She's fourteen and I have never had any problems with her. I don't know if the boys went in my room and she saw it when she got them, or if she was searching for it. . When I babysat I would never go into a parent's room. Thank god DH didn't leave his dirty draws on the floor like he normally does. This just really makes me feel uncomfortable. Should I call and ask her about it? Would you be bothered?

[Deebs]

If I want a sitter to stay out of a room, I lock the door. More so because I know my kids feel free to roam and I expect her to be with them. I would be more bothered by the fact that she was worried about her phone being charged while your kids are awake. Unless you have no home phone, she shouldn't even be thinking about her phone!

I was really bothered until you said she's 14. At 14 it's more of a "clueless about limits" kind of issue, rather than snooping, IMO. I highly doubt that a 14 year old was looking so thoroughly for your charger that she made it all the way to your room on that search. It's more likely that the boys were in there, she noticed and remembered it, and when she wanted one she got it there.

I'd probably say something along the lines of "I've closed the door to my room -- please keep the boys out of there.", or "I prefer you and the boys not play in my room." next time.

I had an issue with a sitter who used my computer the very first time she was here, w/o asking. I password protect my computer, which means she had to have hopped on RIGHT after I left, the first time she was watching Mattie. I came home to find the page from her workplace (my gym) on the screen, and she was logged in. I wouldn't mind a regular sitter using my computer (and I think I've given the password to one), but that's too personal for someone totally new (and she's in her early 20's and should have known better), IMO, so I haven't used her again.

[Chrisada]

Thanks! So I asked the four-year-old again and he says she asked for a charger for her iPod and he told her where mine was. I usually close the door, but have a feeling DH left it open before he left. I don't even think we have locks on our bedroom doors! I guess I'll have a talk about no going into my room for anything.

[peggyfromwastate]

Having a 15 yo myself, I wouldn't be upset about it. Any of it. If you really don't want her in your room, lock it or whatever. But I don't think she was in there snooping around. Just looking for a charger which is what 14 year olds do. And your 4 year old told her where it is-- pretty sharp!

[SuzySunshine]

I agree, she probably didn't think. I tell our sitters that the kids aren't allowed in our room and close the door, if she had gone in after that then I would have been concerned.

[SoonerTexan]

When I was that age, I was always "scared" to go into a parent's room and it drove me nuts trying to keep the kids out of there. Some parents would actually tell me the kids could go in there or whatever item (diapering station, etc.) was in there so I had to. I always preferred it when the door was closed and it wasn't an option--you'll be doing her a favor.

[Chrisada]

The door is usually closed, but DH left it open. All though I'm guessing she still would have gone in to get the charger. And guess what, no locks on the doors. I think we'll be getting a lock on the master for other reasons...

And I appreciate you all letting me know I was overreacting a little!

[Meenah]

I'm late here, but it wouldn't ahve bothered me either.

[GrayMatterWife]

How awful is this? I'll admit...when I was a fourteen-year-old babysitter, I snooped. Of course, I shouldn't have and I am ashamed of my behavior now. But curiosity (and boredom after the kids went to bed) occasionally got the better of me. It was a casual effort, but fascinating in results. I just had no idea of how offensive the violation of privacy was. Like most young teens, the world was really all about MY experience of it.

I'd follow the advice re: telling her, "Hey, I closed my door to my room. Please keep everybody out. It's a no-play zone." That should be enough to send her a message re: expectations. If it's not, then you need to get a new sitter--one that shows better judgment in the face of a specific direction.

But, in general, I'd plead: forgive her. (From an offender of the same crime...)

[Chrisada]

How awful is this? I'll admit...when I was a fourteen-year-old babysitter, I snooped. Of course, I shouldn't have and I am ashamed of my behavior now. But curiosity (and boredom after the kids went to bed) occasionally got the better of me. It was a casual effort, but fascinating in results. I just had no idea of how offensive the violation of privacy was. Like most young teens, the world was really all about MY experience of it.

I'd follow the advice re: telling her, "Hey, I closed my door to my room. Please keep everybody out. It's a no-play zone." That should be enough to send her a message re: expectations. If it's not, then you need to get a new sitter--one that shows better judgment in the face of a specific direction.

But, in general, I'd plead: forgive her. (From an offender of the same crime...)

See this is interesting! I think I was a little upset, because when I babysat I never ever went into the parents' room. They never told me not to. I just knew it was a private place. I think I was more worried about her seeing our dirty laundry on the floor honestly.

[DCJenn]

Oh man, I snooped everywhere. I also had one set of parents that bought a carton of cigarettes for me and left them there for me to smoke to my hearts content. Ah, the early 1980s...

Jenn

[Meenah]

Here is my take on this, anywhere my kids are allowed to go, my babysitter would be alllowed to go. Also, I never told my kids they couldn't go into my bedroom.

[alison]

I've got nothing to hide. We must be a boring couple!

[SoonerTexan]

See...I always hated it when I had to go into the parents room because it bothered me. During the nanny years, I did the kids laundry and it always freaked me out to see the mom's lingerie hanging up in the laundry room.