Homesick

[civilspouse]

DH and I moved from the PNW to the Midwest when he started med school four years ago. I was very nervous about moving away from home, but I’m so glad we did. I feel like it has helped me to expand my horizons and be less afraid of change…but there are times when I become really homesick. Both of our families are back there and we manage to keep involved in each other’s daily lives with e-mails, phone calls, Skype, etc. Most days I’m very happy where we are, although we don’t love the location, we have a very comfortable life here.

Sometimes I long to go up into the mountains or roaming through the desert, sit and chat with my sister, go to a great restaurant downtown. I LOVED our city. I think what makes it harder is I know that although we hope to someday be within a days drive of home, we will probably never move back there because there aren’t really any job opportunities for DH.

DH knows how I feel, but I don’t want to complain about it too much to him because I don’t want him to feel responsible. Does anyone else ever feel this way and does it ever go away with time?

[diggitydot]

Same boat, here. Also from the PNW and transplanted to the Midwest for a few years. I miss mountains. And good seafood.

We've been away from the PNW for the better part of a decade. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but my desire to return hasn't mellowed.

[scrub-jay]

Same here. We really enjoy CO now, but I still miss the ocean, seafood, and redwoods. It hasn't lessened for me, but I'm thankful for those who I have met here.

[GrayMatterWife]

Does anyone else ever feel this way and does it ever go away with time?

Every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

And it hasn't gone away in the six years, one month and three weeks since we left Texas.

But home is where DH is, so it's not so much homesickness as it is just a profound wish for different geography!

(Nothing against STL. It has been a very good city to us, and I have many wonderful friends here. For not being in Texas, it is a very nice city! )

[alison]

We lived in the Midwest for 7 years, and I missed fresh seafood, good produce, and hills/mountains. I'd go through the seafood aisle of my grocery store and gag, because it was so smelly. Fresh seafood doesn't stink.

And oh god, the weather.... I don't miss that at all!

Now that we're back in the PNW, I realize that I'm really missing my friends in Chicago, and would love to go back for a visit. And I'd also love to bring my daughter back to the city that I grew to love.

I'm sorry you're feeling homesick.

[SuzySunshine]

Right now I'm having the exact opposite problem. Born and raised in the Midwest and we loved our 5 years in Cali and I'm sure we'll look back fondly on this year in the PNW but I just want to go home. I've realized kids change everything and while I love the green out here and the produce and those kind of things I'm 35 years old and I'm tired of making new friends, I want my kids to see their grandparents more then a few times a year. I used to chat with my sister several times a week after we had put our kids to bed, we can't do that anymore because of the time change. For those of you that know our story you'll be amazed that I actually asked DH to strongly pursue a job in the city his parents live in. Can you go home again after 13 years? I don't know but I'd sure like to be given that opportunity. Big hugs, I get it.

[Vanquisher]

I feel some of the same, but I don't miss Utah that much. I do muss my family though. I miss them tremendously. I didn't want to live by in-laws though, and I do love it here in Florida. My plan is to get my parents to move here.


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[L.Jane]

I've been in DC for two years now, was in Dallas for two years before that and I miss home every time my family does something as simple as have a game night. I have just been planting in J's ear that we will be moving there in three years when residency is over. Now I know the reality of that is not as great as I would like it to be, but hope helps. Not that its not great here, but I think where ever family is (if you are close to them) it makes it hard to be anywhere else. I want my future children growing up around family.

[v-girl]

:hugs:

I'm sorry you're homesick. I would be too.

[Cinderella]

After I left Texas where I was born and raised I wanted to go back badly the first three years. I did go back for 6 months during the fifth year and realized everybody stayed the same while I had changed so I moved back to the other state. I stayed a few more years there all the while wanting to be somewhere else having an adventure. Now I'm in the PNW and I'm enjoying it but I know that we have maybe two years here before we end up where ever his residency in the States is going to be. I don't miss Texas as much anymore and have no real desire to move back there. I know I don't want to go back to the state I just came from because I've done it all there. I want to explore the world more, see more places and meet new faces.

[civilspouse]

Thanks for all the responses, you guys are making me feel better. At least I know I'm not alone. There is a lot of moving around that comes with training.

I've realized kids change everything and while I love the green out here and the produce and those kind of things I'm 35 years old and I'm tired of making new friends, I want my kids to see their grandparents more then a few times a year.

DS is about to turn one and I hate that our families have to miss all of the day to day things and he doesn't get to hang out with his cousins. DH is always joking with his parents that they need to move out here with us and then follow us around wherever training takes us .

I want to explore the world more, see more places and meet new faces.

That is a good attitude, I'm going to try to focus on the positives. I am enjoying seeing new things and meeting new people.

[Deebs]

I miss family too (this is the closest we've lived to them since training started - 2 hours away, and we're moving). I do get VERY tired of hearing things like, "There are tons of hospitals here. Tell him to get a job at one of them." DH could get a job anywhere, but not THE job. It's frustrating.

[ladymoreta]

Hugs! I didn't realize how much I missed Oklahoma until we moved back here for residency. It's still our top choice for attendinghood, but like Deebs said, we're kind of hoping for THE job, and we're willing to move back to TX for it. It's hard thinking about leaving again, but with as many hours as the doctor will work, we want the best environment. Luckily for us, it's about the same distance from our families.

[MrsPotts]

I think this is one of the hardest things with moving around with DH. You grow fond of places and people and then have to up and leave! And it also never seems like THE job as you have all mentioned is ever near family! Where we are from, it is rural Appalachia - and there is just no way we could ever go back when he actually finishes because there are no opportunities there for him!

And I'm with you all on wanting different geography - I can't wait until we move for residency!

[hedixo01]

You guys are making me sad just thinking of moving. DH and I have always wanted to travel and live in different places, but it's hard to do that when we also want our kids to grow up with lots of family around. I've lived in three different places growing up, and we were always the out of towners at family events. I've loved where we lived, but I always wanted to be closer to my cousins. There are pros and cons to everything, I guess.