Homesick

[SoonerTexan]

I grew up in so many different places that I don't necessarily think of any one place as home. I am attached to Texas because that is where our families are, but the geography and weather can suck it. We will try and stay here, but if we have to move at least I will be consoled at the thought of moving to a place with mountains r an ocean. Or weeks of summer that are not 108 degrees plus. I'm not exaggerating...

[SuzySunshine]

I used to say we'd go anywhere...

[DCJenn]

There are lots of things I miss about DC- family being #1. That said, as long as my husband remains in the military HE doesn't want to go back. We have a sweet thing here in San Antonio, despite the 9 month long summers. February-April is really nice... We do have a great neighborhood and lots of good friends and we love the local elementary school (which is two blocks away.)

We did confirm after this last visit to SoCal that as my husband put it, "UCLA could offer me two million dollars and I'd say no." He wouldn't even work in Santa Barbara which is saying something since that's his most favorite place on earth.

Time and life circumstances do change things a bit. Would I love to catch the Metro to get Ethiopian food- YES. Would I love having to put my kid in private school? Hell NO.

Jenn

[Pollyanna]

Time and life circumstances do change things a bit. Would I love to catch the Metro to get Ethiopian food- YES. Would I love having to put my kid in private school? Hell NO.

Jenn

I think this is so true. When our kiddos were little we wanted to be close to family as well. As they grow you realize that being close to family might not be the best thing in the long run for your family. You have to be open to change and understand that what is a perfect fit when you are single, or have toddlers, may not be the right fit when you have high schoolers. Also, the lure of family is easy when you have little ones, once all those children start growing up you discover that just because you love your sister or brother doesn't mean you want your kids anywhere near theirs.

My friend once told me that she longed to go home because she "knew what her children's life would be like and what to expect, raising my kids here is scary because everything will be new for me", she said. I thought it was an insightful comment and something I had never thought of before.

In the end I don't think there is always one perfect place for your family but perfect places for different times in your life.

[Thirteen]

We moved back closer to my parents because DH's family isn't really close, doesn't communicate well, and isn't hands-on with DS.
I never thought I would be back here, but I am, and I'm happy. It's weird how things change as you get older.

I love L.A., but I can't live there anymore. Too many people, too much stress, not enough $$.

[seaside*bliss]

We just moved from the Midwest to PNW for residency, and I too am a bit homesick. This is my first out of state move, and its still new. I am still adjusting, and waiting to fly down south for a week over Christmas


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[SuzySunshine]

Seaside, are you in Portland? If so, let me know.

[seaside*bliss]

Seaside, are you in Portland? If so, let me know.

No, we are in Tacoma, WA. Hubby does a rotation in Portland next year; I think. We hear that Portland is awesome, and worth a visit though!

[SuzySunshine]

We are only here until June but if we make it up your way I'll let you know

[seaside*bliss]

We are only here until June but if we make it up your way I'll let you know

That would be awesome!


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[peggyfromwastate]

Hmmmm, I've gone through a lot of maturing on this subject since moving away 9 years ago. We have taken lots and lots of trips home, and my mom comes to visit us about 4 times a year. I had 2 year old twins and an older daughter (7) at the time of the move. Paradoxically, my kids have been able to "know" my mom more since we moved away. When she comes to visit, she's focused on us. When we visit her, or when we lived in the same town, her focus was always on entertaining the group as a whole.

My kids don't have lots of cousins, unless you count dhs side which I don't because they are so screwed up I limit exposure to them. Drugs, abuse, you name it. So I only really foster the relationship between my sisters two kids and mine. That is why I schlep all the kids cross country on my own at least twice a year- so they can know their cousins and so we can visit my grandma who lives in a house attached to my parents house.

Being away from family has helped me mature, to discipline how I want to rather than trying to imitate my patents methods even subconsciously in an attempt to please them, and to form our own family traditions. Coming home every 6 months or so helps me see how different I am from my siblings...

There is a lot of family drama that I gladly miss because we are out of towners. And while dh and I would live to work our way back closer to family after training is done, I never want to live in the same town with them. I think living about 3-4 hours away by car is close to ideal for me. This way we can make it for big events but not have every weekend or so taken up by some family event. That's just me though.

It's a process, though. I am a bit of a control freak and I don't like other ppl commenting on how I parent. My older sister has said some thoughtless things to me in the past, and I just don't care to hear it. She and I are polar opposites in parenting which makes it hard bc invariably when I come up visit I end up babysitting her kids a lot bc she works full time.

Anyway... I hope you all who are struggling with homesickness find peace with it all. If my mom didn't make the effort to come visit me so often I would struggle with this so much more. I'm lucky that she values the grandmother/grandchild relationship do much and is able to do this to keep connected with us all.

[diggitydot]

My desire to return to he PNW has VERY little to do with desiring to be geographically close to family. Yes, they're there, but I can't imagine living nearer than 3-4 hours away.

I swear, Peg -- we're related to the same people.

[peggyfromwastate]

Lol W. That's scary.

[alison]

I love being in the PNW. It's perfect for us. I am put off by earth moms who get all bent out of shape when I give my child doughnuts at the playground, while their child gets raisins and bird food for their snack... I'm trying to fatten her up for chrissakes! Anyway, we love the climate and outdoor activities.

Being close to parents is a plus at M's age, because she gets to see them very often. I could do without seeing them as often, but it's great to have a community and always be able to ask for referrals (financial advisors, dentists, realtors, landscapers, etc.) and not be somewhere where those types of things are a shot in the dark.