Waking-up-in-the-morning Issues!

[MrsK]

I have a dawn simulator alarm clock and I know it did not cost hundreds of dollars. I think it was about $60-70 and I love it.

Also, IDK if someone already suggested this but have you tried packing lunch the night before? I put dinner leftovers in single-serve containers so DrK can grab and go in the mornings.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

So I'm the enabler of all enablers. I wake up when his alarm goes off and spend about 30-45 minutes prodding him awake (with him snoozing several times). On days when I pack him a lunch, I wake up at his first alarm, make his lunch, and am back upstairs by the first snooze. Then, I can't go back to sleep right away, so I'm usually up for an additional 45 minutes. DH has to be up anywhere between 3:45 and 6:15 depending on the rotation DD wakes up between 7:15 and 9:00.

[Bittersweet]

If it's a bad month and I'm desperate to see DH, I'll get up, shower with him and then go back to bed for a couple hours. Only works because I'm good at falling back asleep even with wet hair (it's a special talent ). DH is a wierdo and takes two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to work for lunch every.single.day. I suppose I could make them for him, but he's picky about his peanut butter to jelly ratio ... and yeah, I'm just really lazy.

[ladymoreta]

You guys are so nice! I have a box of breakfast bars in the pantry, and he fends for himself on lunch. I think it's free at the hospital...

ETA - and I never get up with him, either. I think it would bug him. I never liked it when he was up when I got ready for work. Mornings are for sleeping as late as possible and getting out the door. Evenings are our social time.

[scrub-jay]

*Don't throw things at me...okay?*
DH preps everyone's lunches the night before, then gets up early and packs it all up. He'll often take the bags out to my car on his way out. DD and I are spoiled. He even did this when he was on surgery and left at 4:15am. I think it is his way of feeling that he is contributing to our family. He knows I can take care of it at any point if it is too much, but he's only asked for help on it a few times.

[SuzySunshine]

I am usually awake when DH walks out the door but just barely, he prefers to eat while working at the hospital and doesn't want to get up early enough to eat at home. Those of you that get up are saints!

scrub-jay - hate to be the pessimist but just wait until next year!

[scrub-jay]

scrub-jay - hate to be the pessimist but just wait until next year!

Pessimist? Most likely realist!! Honestly, I figured it'd stop once he hit MS3, especially the rotations with really long hours. But hey, I'll enjoy it while I can. I have no expectations in residency, don't worry!

[SoonerTexan]

Damn. Have him mentor J

[MrsK]

The thing that really amazes me about this thread. . . is that a while back I had a rant about how my DH wanted to sleep in until minutes before he had to leave for work and then rush out of the house in a wild frenzy while I was getting up much earlier than he was so that I could feed and dress the children and attend to other household chores. I was annoyed that he wouldn't get up a little bit earlier to supervise the kids for a few minutes so I could get a shower before he left and so he could at least see them for a little bit every day. (It's not like he was working nights or 14 hr days or anything like that.) Nearly everyone said that I was wrong to ask my husband to help in the mornings and tried to suggest ways that I could get more done without his help. Here we are all making pancakes at 3am so our dawkters can go to work with full tummies (or, as I have done at times, made pancakes at 3AM because hubby just got home) and packing their lunches and we think they are heros if they pack a lunch? What's wrong with this picture? I'm not saying that we shouldn't take care our dawkters or that we shouldn't sacrafice to preserve the few moments of family time we have together. That's what partners should do for eachother. But it shouldn't be the sole burden of the medspouse while our dawkters are given a trophy if they find a way to spend a few moments with their partners and/or children too.

[diggitydot]

But it shouldn't be the sole burden of the medspouse while our dawkters are given a trophy if they find a way to spend a few moments with their partners and/or children too.

I couldn't agree more. It's just part of being a family or in a relationship -- everyone needs to put in effort. Even if that effort is at different levels or for different issues, it's still important aspect.

However, it's nice to do things for the ones we love simply because we know it makes their day better. When it isn't reciprocated somehow (even if in a different way), resentment can creep into the situation.

[scrub-jay]

MrsK - I sincerely hope that was not directed at me considering that I did say that the morning routine (and/or dinner routine) is my husband's way of contributing to the family. He can't do pickups/dropoffs/sick days (or earn money) as I can, so he takes on other tasks to contribute. He doesn't get or expect "a trophy" for this, but he knows he can get a pass when things get hectic. When they calm down, he steps back in. I am grateful for his efforts, however, as SS alluded to: residency will change things. This is one reason we are having our second child now, before residency starts. Contributing to the family where possible is prioritized in our house.

[scrub-jay]

i couldn't agree more. It's just part of being a family or in a relationship -- everyone needs to put in effort. Even if that effort is at different levels or for different issues, it's still important aspect.

However, it's nice to do things for the ones we love simply because we know it makes their day better. When it isn't reciprocated somehow (even if in a different way), resentment can creep into the situation.

ita.

[MrsK]

MrsK - I sincerely hope that was not directed at me considering that I did say that the morning routine (and/or dinner routine) is my husband's way of contributing to the family. He can't do pickups/dropoffs/sick days (or earn money) as I can, so he takes on other tasks to contribute. He doesn't get or expect "a trophy" for this, but he knows he can get a pass when things get hectic. When they calm down, he steps back in. I am grateful for his efforts, however, as SS alluded to: residency will change things. This is one reason we are having our second child now, before residency starts. Contributing to the family where possible is prioritized in our house.

No, it was not in response to you. It was more in response to the others' general response to what you said. Of course, in a family, everyone gets a pass now and then and everyone contributes. It won't always be fair but you shouldn't expect your husband to get a pass for all of residency. My husband can (and now does) have breakfast with the kids most mornings. I see a lot of posts all over iMSN lately where we medspouses are saying that our contributions are unimportant, that we feel invisible, that our partners and their careers are so important that they eclipse everything. It is very easy to fall into a habit of assuming the dawkter will be away and that he cannot pitch in at home or help with the kids. Lately, my hubby has been very upset that he is apart from me and the children so much and he feels like he is disconnected from what happens here at home because I do everything, he doesn't know the routines, etc. The kids freak out and ask "mommy, are you okay?!" if I cough and they don't seem to notice him at all. It's not about the chores so much as it is about being an inclusive family during residency.

[scrub-jay]

Gotcha. I agree. I am okay letting chores go, but he always makes an effort with dd on rough rotations. Recently, the two of them had some games going when he'd have to leave before she got up and got home after bedtime... he'd draw her a picture on a post-it note (maybe a silly face or a smiley face) and put it somewhere she would find it during her morning routine. Seriously, minimal effort, but it brought so much glee to my 2-year-old that she would insist we either (1) call him and leave him a message (he knew she'd do this and would ignore the call, she knew to wait for the *beep*) or (2) Let her draw him a picture to find when he got home. THAT made more of a difference in my day and my contentment than any other single thing he did, truthfully. Otherwise, I was waking up a 2-year-old who'd just start searching the house for daddy...and sobbing... now she wakes up and says "Is daddy at the hospital? YAY!" knowing that he probably left something for her to find. A happy toddler gets out the door faster and makes for a happier Mommy.

[MrsK]

Gotcha. I agree. I am okay letting chores go, but he always makes an effort with dd on rough rotations. Recently, the two of them had some games going when he'd have to leave before she got up and got home after bedtime... he'd draw her a picture on a post-it note (maybe a silly face or a smiley face) and put it somewhere she would find it during her morning routine. Seriously, minimal effort, but it brought so much glee to my 2-year-old that she would insist we either (1) call him and leave him a message (he knew she'd do this and would ignore the call, she knew to wait for the *beep*) or (2) Let her draw him a picture to find when he got home. THAT made more of a difference in my day and my contentment than any other single thing he did, truthfully. Otherwise, I was waking up a 2-year-old who'd just start searching the house for daddy...and sobbing... now she wakes up and says "Is daddy at the hospital? YAY!" knowing that he probably left something for her to find. A happy toddler gets out the door faster and makes for a happier Mommy.

I love that! That is so sweet.