Who do you talk to?

[BonBon]

I really only talk to DH. Poor guy gets the unadulterated good stuff. I would have to say though, that three of my closest friends I've met on here. They only periodically have to catch the vomit.

I don't know...we've been living here for 11 years now (NEVER expected that) and while I've made quite a few friends, there aren't any that I'm really close to. It's hard to let people breach that inner layer. Stick around and get to know us. We're easy to talk to.

[Phoebe]

I talk to my husband and this website. My area is a very transient one so it has been hard to make more than acquaintances with people because they move out of the area, frequently. Also, I am not very outgoing.

[SoonerTexan]

I like computer based friends too!

[Curegirl]

Thankfully, I have a good support system of both guys and women friends and the folks here. And my therapist. Thank heavens for my therapist.

[weeniegeniewife]

And my therapist. Thank heavens for my therapist.

A good therapist is worth their weight in gold, aren't they.

[Curegirl]

Word!

[HouseofWool]

I work from home, am a single parent, and have a pre-schooler. There simply isn't time for in person interactions.

I will say that 2 of my best friends are people that I've met bc of this site.

[spaz]

nt

[Deebs]

Does your DH network regionally or nationally? Have strong mentors? He can get support without a therapist if he's totally opposed to the idea. If its more a matter of not wanting to see someone within your small community, there is therapy available via phone. My DH doesn't see a therapist, but he is incredibly connected nationally within his specialty and will decompress with those colleagues, colleagues in town, and me. His company also pays for (and makes their admin team utilize) a life coach. It is via phone and helps tremendously with the politics if medicine, which are often nearly as stressful as patient care. She has awesome perspective because she works with physicians throughout the country in a multitude of settings. My DH also used to be on SERMO. Unfortunately, the site was sold and he no longer participates because of its ties to industry.

[spaz]

I'm not sure what you mean by network.. He has his partners in our local practice....

[weeniegeniewife]

How do you find a GOOD therapist? How do you know what is good? How do find one if you live in a rural area? How do you do that without your husband knowing?

I am a counselor and can answer those questions for you.

The best way to find a "good" therapist is through referrals from trusted friends or family members. If that doesn't work, you can check with your insurance and see who is covered by your insurance. Then look those people up online and contact some to schedule consultations. It's perfectly acceptable to meet with a few therapists first to see whom you click with the best.

As far as confidentiality goes, I discuss that with my clients on the first visit. Some people are comfortable with their SO's knowing they're in therapy, some are not. It's totally up to you who you want knowing you're in therapy or not.

[spaz]

Grin.. ok you say to check with trusted friends and family members. But that is a catch 22... I need a therapist because I don't have anyone I trust to talk to... Smile. I've heard you shouldnt use insurance as then they know and will flag you. I've heard you should pay out of pocket.. If it is billed, he would see it..

[weeniegeniewife]

That is all true, especially re: insurance. OK, my next suggestion would be to ask your PCP if they can recommend someone good. You can also do some Internet searches for therapists in your area, and check out their websites. Most will offer a free phone or in person consultation. Schedule a few; you will probably find someone great. And you might get a discount on fees if you are using cash.

[Deebs]

When I say Network, I'm thinking of this: there are three people in our state that do pretty much what my DH does. That's it. But, there are people throughout the country who have very similar roles. When he's going through something tough at work, often one of those people is who he will call. We are self insured, and while we've been asked if we have a number of specific mental health diagnosis, seeing a therapist in and of itself will not drive up our rates. WGW may have more to say on this?

[Urowife]

My DH will also call one of his former colleagues (either from residency or from his previous duty station) to vent or ask questions of when it's something specific to medicine or urology. They are spread out throughout the country, but they remain close colleagues. He will also vent to me, but I admit that sometimes it goes in one ear and out the other. I try to be a good sounding board though

I have one friend in the area, but she is mostly an acquaintance. But, since we will be moving again in 16 months (who's counting...), I am not motivated in the least to branch out and make new friends. I already have one foot out the door, so to speak. I do talk to my mom at least every other day. I used to talk to my brother a lot too, but now that we both have kids, it's tougher to find time.