Are most of you still in training??

[Meenah]

I have supported him emotionally for so long and I am tired... I'm ready for someone to support me.

What you are feeling is normal, and why so many of us are still here years out of training. I don't think it matters where you are in training, the lifestyle can really suck and it is an emotional roller coaster. I didn't know my husband when he was training and I am in practice with him. I still have days of resentment and bitterness about the lifestyle.

[GrayMatterWife]

That's part of what makes this places awesomesauce.

Threadjack: ANOTHER great word for my iMSN phrasebook! Right along with "asshat" and "craptastic"

[ides]

We are in our first year out of training. Been married 14 yrs. As others have said there is a wide variety of ages and stages on this site.

[BonBon]

I'm not sure what to do with myself... I'm approaching 50 and don't have a clue what to do...

My DH finished in 2000. I resented the hell out of his schedule for a long time (after we had kids...before that I didn't care too much). Now I'm used to it. As far as not knowing what to do with yourself, do you have a "life list?" I've got a list that I made in my early 20s of all the things I wanted to learn and accomplish, adding and editing stuff out as I went along. It might be helpful to think about what YOU want to do. Seriously, don't wait for your husband.

[MrsK]

Not sure if I'm making myself clear. No I don't have condemnation.. But honestly, I had my life and I was very happy in medical school in residency. It was't until we had kids that I started to resent his schedule. But at the same time I guess I just never counted on him. I found mother's day out programs and just dragged them to my ladies ensemble concerts or directing my choirs and such. I never ever demanded anything of him. I always tried to make home a safe haven.
I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that we are both first born, list making, saver kind of personalities.. As the oldest, I fend for myself.. I can't imagine being whiny.... at least until this year. I don't know. I have supported him emotionally for so long and I am tired... I'm ready for someone to support me.

Perhaps, also, you are missing your involvement in the church? It sounds like your activities and your commitment to your church filled your time and helped you feel connected when your husband was unavailable to you. Perhaps you are a little resentful that he asked you to reduce your activities? That, and having children become more independent could make for a very lonely wife.

[MrsK]

Threadjack: ANOTHER great word for my iMSN phrasebook! Right along with "asshat" and "craptastic"

And, yes, I taught my toddlers to say "awesomesauce" as soon as they could speak. (Though I refrained from teaching them "asshat", "craptastic", "douche canoe" "analrectoextomy". . . . ) LW, you will learn the jargon here soon. Seriously, this is a great group of people and you have come to the right place. We speak your language as well as our own, and I promise ours is not all vulgar either.

[diggitydot]

...and I promise ours is not all vulgar either.

Except for me. My vocabulary is entirely vulgar. Always.

[Meenah]

Except for me. My vocabulary is entirely vulgar. Always.

One of the many reasons I love you so much!!!!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

One of the many reasons I love you so much!!!!

Basically

[Phoebe]

Hi. My husband finished training in 2003. We have 4 kids between 11 and 11 months. My life mostly revolves around my husband's schedule and my kids. I have more recently started making more time for myself, although I too utilized MDO programs when my kids were young. I do resent my husband's schedule at times because it can suck. We all get tired on his long stretches without a day off. it helps that he and I work as a team whenever possible. I used to not ask much of him, but we're both happier raising the bar. I don't feel guilty taking time for myself anymore. It helps all of us. I think what you're feeling is completely normal.

[scrub-jay]

Except for me. My vocabulary is entirely vulgar. Always.

And beautifully creative I might add!

[v-girl]

My husband finished training last summer. We have two girls in middle school, and a little boy in Kindergarten. All three were born during med school. Oh, we homeschool them.

[GreyhoundsRUs]

My husband is a PGY3/6 (5+fellowship). We have a 15 month old and are expecting baby #2. Residency is residency. I totally was prepared for the absolute worst, and it's been ok. It helps that over 1/2 of the other residents in his program are married with kids. We don't live by family, so we (I) don't really have any help/break. I feel like that's par for the course, though.

[spaz]

nt

[L.Jane]

You do have a job. You are a teacher, care giver, house cleaner and more. If you were not doing all these things, someone else would have to do it and they would make quite a bit of money for holding all those jobs. Just because you don't get a monthly paycheck does not mean you aren't doing just as much, if not more work than your husband. He gets days off from his job, you do not. If you are not enjoying the things you once were doing, that is one thing, and if you WANT to live your life around his schedule, that is your choice (and totally acceptable if thats what you want) but if it is making you unhappy, then its just not cool. If you are unhappy, then your marriage is going to be unhappy. I hope you can find the things you want to do that make you happy and your husband can respect that.