Preventing Med Spouse burnout

[PrincessFiona]

It's all on us .... at least it feels that way. We are managing everything from physician contracts to finances to kids (if we have them) to house repairs. It gets to be too much sometimes.
What are your tricks for keeping the burnout at bay? I've been feeling especially burned out lately and I need to hear your suggestions.

I heard a great suggestion in class today about making a "life mission statement" to remind you why you do the things that you do. That is something I've never heard of before that sounds interesting.
Kris

[SuzySunshine]

I'm trying to be more grateful for what we have - trying to make my happiness come from me.

I'm also enjoying my ME time - on the 2 days that the kids are at school I do what I need to about half the day and I do NOTHING the other half, sit on the couch, watch TV, read magazines, etc. I have to have me time and I can do other things other times.

[Sheherezade]

Obviously, we are brimming with ideas!

Seriously. I've got nothing.

[spaz]

I've been reading a ton of books on this lately.. I don't have time right now, but will post my thoughts tomorrow. Good thread.

[Curegirl]

Obviously, we are brimming with ideas!

Seriously. I've got nothing.

Same here. The past couple of weeks have been getting up and just getting through the day.

[Ladybug]

I find a good vacation that makes us feel like the work is worth it. When is your next school vacation?

[SuzySunshine]

Give yourself a project - we have our 3rd of 4 kitchen contractors coming over tonight!

[MAPPLEBUM]

Some of you may have seen about this time last month I found myself at a point of complete exhaustion. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It was getting bad, and scary. So, I started taking time for prayer/meditation and started doing yoga at home. Now, throughout the day, wherever I am, in a quiet moment I try to realign, focus on my breath, and push all thoughts and anxieties away. At least for a few seconds. I'm in the car from 1-2 hours a day and usually in traffic. I've been turning the radio off more frequently and just breathing. It's helped. I'm also a long time practicer of self forgiveness. I am the most unforgiving critic of myself. It seems the only remedy is to stop, forgive myself, and let it go. I allow myself more down time than I think I need. I try to lower expectations of myself and my husband on a regular basis. I drink wine.


But I don't have any kids.

[Pollyanna]

I don't have my own mission statement but we do have one for our family.

I try to have me time everyday just to decompress. My me time is typically late at night and I rarely do anything productive but I find it helpful.

[BonBon]

It's too late for me. I'm already there. :-/

[Vishenka69]

It's too late for me. I'm already there. :-/

Me too

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[medpedspouse]

It does not HAVE to be all on us. Wait, hear me out. I, too, did everything...DH's only responsibility was medicine. I thought I was being a good spouse by doing so. Fast forward to attendinghood, and I realize I created a monster of sorts. If I were to die, dude would be in trouble. I did not do him or me any favors. I could have saved myself a lot of anxiety, stress, etc. if WE had shared responsibilities equally. But the dawkter cannot because of their schedule you may say. I would argue that single med students and residents (attendings too - although they may hire help) are managing their finances, home repairs, errands - a few even single parenting (with the help of family/friends) etc. How I keep the burnout at bay (now, since I did not do a good job back then) is to ask DH for help. It does not come easily since habits are hard to break but I try to delegate with any new task or chore. I am also becoming comfortable with just sitting around doing nothing...or reading/doing something for me while there is stuff that needs to be done OR worse, DH is doing chores. We need to rest and recharge as much as the dawkters deserve to sleep post call, need downtime, etc. We are working just as hard. I wish someone had told me this way back when I was working full time, while going to grad school full time and managing everything in our household.

[peggyfromwastate]

Me time? Deep calming breaths? What?

You go kris. I'm cheering you on!! Solve this riddle, and pass along the magic formula. I'll drink that cool aid.

I seriously feel guilty for going to the grocery store during the day. I feel guilty for exercising at 9 am after school drop offs bc I should be up at 5 am so as to "be more productive." I feel guilty for doing our taxes all weekend and not helping the kids with their demands. I even feel guilty bc dd18 wants to take a beginning yoga class with me and I can't find time to research where we might find such a thing and how the hell to fit it in the schedule.

[Thirteen]

Denial (?)

Hot baths, prayer, exercise, Netflix, cooking, phone calls with my Mom, and the occasional procrastination thing work well. I'd like to outsource Childcare 1-2 times a week, take a mini-vacation once a year (hotel, sleeping in, room service, bad TV), and maybe hire someone to deep clean once a month - those are future hopes.


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[SuzySunshine]

Give yourself a project - we have our 3rd of 4 kitchen contractors coming over tonight!

I take this back - it just adds to the stress.