It will all be worth it...

[alotofyarn]

Has this been posted yet? It's been going around my facebook feed: http://teamchrinzi.blogspot.com/2013...-worth-it.html

[Vanquisher]

Not worth it! For me, I can confidently say that.

I started reading comments, but got to the first one and couldn't continue reading. People have no idea. None.

[SoonerTexan]

They get better! Just the first one sucked

[niener]

Heidi the rest of the comments did a decent job of making up for the asinine-ness of the first

[spaz]

Nope. It isn't worth it. Not at all. None of it. Nope. I pity her in 20 years...No wait, I am her!!! I thought about posting that to her blog, but decided against it. It just isn't worth the cost.

[houseelf]

This reminds me of some of the vitirole hurled at Philip Seymour Hoffman upon his death where one person commented: "He's so selfish! He had to do heroin instead of picking up his kids!"

When I hear this kind of absolutism, intolerance, and general lack of compassion, I mentally try to take the higher ground. I try to be grateful that that individual has no knowledge of addiction, hoarding, poverty, parenthood, etc and I silently pray that they never know the reality. Truly I *try* to apply compassion instead of anger.

By no means am I comparing residency to the horribleness of addicition or other major ills to medicine, but I am drawing a parallel to the fact that you almost have to live it to understand the unique pressure. 9 years of surgical training left a unique mark on our marriage and quite a legacy that needed sorting out.

I also feel compelled to defend myself before someone pulls the "princess" card. For the record, my dad DID work two jobs, my mom worked FT, and we had our car repossessed, power turned off, and a whole host of other financial calamities. We weren't hungry-poor, but we weren't well off either. I completely understand the plight of the working class and the working class poor. That socioeconomic status is entire family.

[SuzySunshine]

I've decided I don't know what worth it means. We now have a lot if friends who aren't necessarily medical but whose husbands travel every week for 3-4 days. They're pulling single mom duty just like I am most weeks but they live on and enjoy their weekends, that is what we have learned. DH loves his job, would he be as happy as a chemical engineer (which is what his BS is in), no absolutely not. I think people need to stop comparing their lives, careers, kids etc to everyone else's.


Being a doc is different then most other careers but just because of the debt but because you constantly have other peoples lives in your hands. It's just different there is no way to describe it. People going into medicine now need to make sure they're going in for the right reasons because it's going to keep changing and no one knows how.

I don't know, that is a really scattered answer. I'm not sure worth is the measurement that should be used though??

[MAPPLEBUM]

Yes, i have mixed reactions to both the article and comments. Frankly, i skimmed the article. Sure i have a pity party for myself every now and then but i am EXTREMELY grateful to have such a sharp, dedicated, and able husband. Sure most of my friends are envious but for whatever reason most of my colleagues get it. As for the negative comments, theyre right and reading that humbled me. I'll admit it, dhs resident salary is more than my dads total income raising 7 children. It was their choice to have that many kids, and ours to have none, but im grateful that i dont have to worry about budgeting groceries or if we can afford to eat at a restaurant.sure, we have crippling debt but i have friends who reached $100k of debt out of college, and then proceeded to get masters, doctorate, etc. In MUSIC. This is all easy to say as im on vacation this week but i do try to live each day in gratitude and not dwell on all the negatives. Scattered answer here too. Time for coffee.

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[MsSassyBaskets]

Obviously we're still really early in this process. Right now I still see it as worth it. DH is excited and seems really positive (which is something to say for mid 3rd year, when many start to have those "oh shit" moments) about building toward a career that is how he wants to spend his time. He seems to enjoy what he does every day. I'm less happy career-wise, but through all the moving and solitude and stress I have come to know what I want from life much more clearly than I ever did before. If we had stayed in our pre-med-school life I think we would be oblivious and stagnating. I'm much more thankful for what I do have now, and rather than always needing more I've learned to be happy with less. I've let go of my need to feel secure and rooted. I'm comfortable being uncomfortable. I see those as gifts. If you focus on what you're going to get out of it -- money, success, prestige, vacations, lifestyle, etc. I think you're bound to be unhappy because you're always waiting for that next stage and it never lives up to the hype. But for both of us to have the opportunity to work toward our goals and dreams is incredibly fulfilling. It's not about eventually being a doctor/doctor's wife and all that entails. It's about becoming the people we really want to be. This just happens to be the path we took to get there.

[Ladybug]

It's just one of those things best left unsaid. Why spew a whole public page on it? Of course people are going to freak out and go all more-grateful-than-thou.

DH wouldn't do it again. He doesn't think the rewards have outweighed the costs. Surgery will slowly crush your soul, but you can't explain that to someone else. It just looks too shiny from the outside to be true.

[Phoebe]

I don't think I can answer if it has been worth it. I don't know anything different. DH says he wouldn't do it again.

[Curegirl]

We're still in training so I think that skews perspective, especially during a difficult rotation. I always remember what my friend said during his EM residency, that he thought he'd be better prepared because his dad is a doctor. But ultimately, if he had the choice, he would've pursued a different career. He loves helping people but the drain of shift work and a lot of the people he treats make him wonder if this is really for him or not a few years out. I understand it's a calling, which is why I've never discouraged my boyfriend from this path, but it's really hard sometimes, watching him go through all this and hoping that it doesn't chip away at him.

[alotofyarn]

It's taking everything I have not to respond on the comment on my facebook when I shared the article. I didn't share it because I was looking for sympathy, I just think most people don't really know what it's really like. And I do realize that we're crazy fortunate that he has the opportunity to become a doctor and will make good money eventually. I don't think any response I leave will be beneficial at all, so I'm just going to leave it as is, I think.

[Pollyanna]

It's taking everything I have not to respond on the comment on my facebook when I shared the article. I didn't share it because I was looking for sympathy, I just think most people don't really know what it's really like. And I do realize that we're crazy fortunate that he has the opportunity to become a doctor and will make good money eventually. I don't think any response I leave will be beneficial at all, so I'm just going to leave it as is, I think.

Um, yes, there is no way to address that post. She has already decided on what the authors reality is and was growing up.

Truly, there is no way to answer the "is it worth it" question. Live your own life to the fullest without regrets.

[Curegirl]

Um, yes, there is no way to address that post. She has already decided on what the authors reality is and was growing up.

Truly, there is no way to answer the "is it worth it" question. Live your own life to the fullest without regrets.

Yup, there are many people who have made up their minds about things they haven't personally experienced, and they won't budge. Not worth trying to explain things.