Need advice/awkward friend situation

[lovelight]

Such a sad situation. My heart really goes out to her.

On the up side, she sounds pretty f'in awesome. Hopefully all turns out ok for her in the end.


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[Ladybug]

She sounds good though. If you can have a sense of humor about things you can survive. She's healing and I hope you guys are able to reconnect. Sounds like her life will be much healthier (and wiser) after this split.

[houseelf]

I read a strong need that she has for you to know, "No *really* I'm fine". This is one of my former favorite coping mechanisms. It may or may not be true. ITA with a short but sincere, "I'm so sorry you are going through this." Even if she is trying to convince you she's FINE, it does help to have someone else acknowledge that her circumstances are a whole lot of suckage and mortifying to boot. (I don't know her relationship to pride, this would be a secondary source of harm to me if that makes any sense.)

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

I read a strong need that she has for you to know, "No *really* I'm fine". This is one of my former favorite coping mechanisms. It may or may not be true. ITA with a short but sincere, "I'm so sorry you are going through this." Even if she is trying to convince you she's FINE, it does help to have someone else acknowledge that her circumstances are a whole lot of suckage and mortifying to boot. (I don't know her relationship to pride, this would be a secondary source of harm to me if that makes any sense.)

I agree. And it's probably a front.

Here's my response...I'm not good at this but I tried:

Um, what? I mean, I'm just completely flabbergasted. Obviously no one saw this coming but this is just unfathomable to me. (I apologize for this non-sensical opening to an email but I'm just basically speechless and that translates poorly to an email...).

Oh my dear, what a horrible situation. Obviously he has lost his damn mind. I cannot even imagine what kind of psychotic break he must be having.


You know, I'm normally a realistic optimist but I just have no idea what to say other than that it sounds like a really shitty situation and that I'm here for you if you need me. I completely understand wanting to talk or NOT talk about it. I'm sure it's been an incredibly mentally exhausting few months and I don't blame you for not wanting to rehash the whole thing with every person at reunion.


I'm sure your mental state waxes and wanes from pissed to sad to shocked on a day-to-day or minute-to-minute basis but it sounds like you've got a plan for moving forward. I'm so proud of you for creating this plan and not being in a constant puddle (that probably would have been my first choice). I'm sure it will take a long, long time but I know you are strong and will get through this.


We love you! We are here for you!

[LynnAlicia]

At least she got rid of him early on! Consider it a blessing when people show their true colors in a few years and not 20.

[poky]

At least she got rid of him early on! Consider it a blessing when people show their true colors in a few years and not 20.

Yes, this. It sounds like they don't have kids of their own, though I couldn't tell for sure? if so, bullet dodged, big-time.

T&S, your reply sounds *perfect*, to me. I'm glad for her that you reached out.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

Yes, this. It sounds like they don't have kids of their own, though I couldn't tell for sure? if so, bullet dodged, big-time.

They do not have children so thankfully, only dog custody needs to be worked out. I agree, she dodged a HUGE NUCLEAR BOMB but I didn't feel like that needed to be said. In my younger days, even 2 years ago, I would have said that as a way to "look on the bright side" or move past the negative and on to the solutions but I feel like that's not always helpful and is not always what people want to hear. Like of course she's lucky she doesn't have kids in this situation but I'm not sure she's ready to look on the bright side yet, you know? That probably makes no sense.

[SoonerTexan]

Yes it does. Everyone needs to mourn.