Any advice for dealing with people thinking you are "bragging"?

[MrsC]

Hearing that he's an ICU doc grosses out a lot of people and stops the convo so I tend to use that over anesthesiologist.

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[MarissaNicole]

I didn't even like to say "med" school but left it to "school." Even back then people thought we had money... no we are racking up debt and when he graduates he'll be making minimum wage in residency... but yeah we're loaded!

Wife of a PGY-5

[ladymoreta]

I usually just say "He works at [hospital name]." If they press, I say "He does anesthesia." I guess because I don't actually say "anesthesiologist", it doesn't lead to any more comments most of the time.

[GrayMatterWife]

Your "aspiring NSG" description is accurate. It does not strike me as bragging. "Future NSG" would not be a good idea--too presumptuous. Wait until he matches into NSG then change to: "Future NSG PGY1!"

[GrayMatterWife]

Honestly though, it's not just doctors that get stigmatized. When I was single /dating, I used to avoid telling people that I was a lawyer. Aside from all the talk about money, there was a presumption that lady lawyers are aggressive and bitchy.

Yep. This. And the combo of being a female lawyer married to a doctor... Throw wide the the doors for stupid comments.

"You must have become lawyer so that you can defend him when he's sued!"

"Wow, how does your husband like you being one of the enemy?"

"But your diamond is so ... Petite. Couldn't you have negotiated a bigger stone?"

"Wait...he's a doctor? Why are you still working?"

[MrsK]

Yeah, and when he was in med school he used to introduce me to other students as "a lawyer, but not *that* kind of lawyer."

[JDAZ11]

"But your diamond is so ... Petite. Couldn't you have negotiated a bigger stone?"

"

Wow! Really? I've heard all the others before... But that one is crazy!!! Someone might get hit if I did hear it!


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[GrayMatterWife]

Wow! Really? I've heard all the others before... But that one is crazy!!! Someone might get hit if I did hear it!


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It's an Atlanta thing. The size of a girl's engagement stone is somehow directly correlated with her self-worth. I don't get it, either. In Dallas in the 1990s, I got some "oh, that is so CUTE! He'll surely 'trade up' for you when he's done with med school!" But somehow, it was kinder... I never ever had a rude comment in St Louis.

Ironically, he bought me a huge, honkin' 3.1 carat blue sapphire, diamond-choked platinum ring a few years back, to replace my yellow gold engagement ring with a modest diamond.

When I got to Atlanta, I got a ton of comments--really rude, intrusive comments about the sapphire ring. People would ask how much it cost...a lot of "I've heard sapphires can cost more than diamonds!" (Um...don't think so, at least not this one, but whatever...). I became extremely self-conscious. And, I hated that people thought I was well-off because of it. So I went back to wearing my original band.

The ultimate anti-Atlanta act.

[Thirteen]

All this ring talk is scary, man.

When DH proposed, he had no ring and I said yes. We told people we were engaged, and when we planned the wedding to coincide with before the potential move for 2nd match, I started planning (sans ring).

There were many, many classless statements by persons in the wedding industry made to me, and that is not including the faces. 😄

2 months into our engagement, he tried to "repropose" (which was ridiculous and totally not necessary), and gave me the ring. It was fun, returning to some of the stores and venues, and watching people eat their words... Petty I'm sure, but perhaps a reminder to keep asinine comments to themselves. 😇


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[ladymoreta]

When DH proposed, he had no ring and I said yes.

DH only had my high school ring, so he put that on my finger when he proposed. He bought me an engagement ring the next day.

[spotty_dog]

LOL. My college boyfriend scraped together some of his savings from working at a bike shop during high school, learned about diamond grading and shopped the deals on eBay, and gave me a solitaire diamond 4 times bigger than I expected or needed. Now he keeps threatening to "upgrade" it (including recently, for our 12th anniversary coming up) and I have to tell him, "No! GAWD no!" A) I never take this thing off, too scatterbrained. I garden and scrub toilets with it on. Do. not. need. more. expensive. B) I already turn it around to hide the stone and get nervous when in sketchy situations while wearing it. C) I said my wedding vows while wearing THIS RING and THIS is the ring that I like having on my finger!

I am all about anti-Societal Expectations acts.

[ladymoreta]

[MENTION=985]spotty_dog[/MENTION], I feel the same way! I never want to upgrade mine either.

[rainbabies]

Dh cashed in a huge pickle jar of change for the down pymt on my engagement ring. I told him it wasn't necessary. He ate Bologna and pbj's for two months (in undergrad) to save for the rest.
Our wedding anniversary is today 6/9, 14 years.
He's offered to upgrade it. But I very rarely wear either ring. In the barn too much. Especially after getting my finger snapped in half last year when I got caught up with a horse...nope. No rings here!

[spotty_dog]

Happy anniversary! Ours is in a little under two weeks.

[EvieLee]

Thanks [MENTION=3775]JDAZ11[/MENTION] (I think this is how I tag people?)

I had not even considered people overcharging because of their inaccurate assumptions. Handy tip for the future not matter where he ends up. All being well we shall be travelling the LONG road in the US and not Aus so we will just see, who knows what the heck will happen....the further in I get the more I realise that its a rather large and continual state of limbo and its only the beginning of the journey