question...

[Vishenka69]

More than half of our friends are also residents that we've met while DH was in undergrad pre-med, medical school and then residency programs. The rest sort of get it and are somewhat supportive but as all of you aware nobody who doesn't have some sort of contact with our world will ever completely understand.

I think what helped me most is being in a younger social circle and not having any kids. We are slowly drifting away from some of our non-medical friends now but only because they're jumping on the kids bandwagon a lot sooner than those still in residency.

Our experience has been that our friends, the ones we have had for years, don't make a big deal of it at all. That is just DH's job. But the people who we have met in the last few years are different. They don't get it at all, and they do the *wink, wink* more times than I can stomach.

I have to admit that I had no idea what it was all about until DH and I began dating, and I am still learning. We have been together 5 years.

My pet peeve....people who think residency is med school (" So, when will Gary be a doctor?")

My pet peeve....people who think residency is med school (" So, when will Gary be a doctor?")

That drives me crazy, too! I've just gotten used to it over time but I want to yell -- He graduated over 4 years ago, remember!?!?!?!?!

[Auspicious]

Or conversely, people who think that because residents are doctors they make a six-figure salary.

My pet peeve....people who think residency is med school (" So, when will Gary be a doctor?")

My husband's grandmother asked him a couple of weeks ago, "When will you be a real doctor?" Well, let's see.....4 years ago!

Most of my friends are the wives of DH's partners. Like the others said, they just "get it". They understand that with the paycheck comes many years of training, many nights away from home, many holidays worked, many family functions missed....

My very best friend, though, is not married to someone in the medical field. We have been friends since we were 7 years old. She is single, still in college, and struggling to support herself with a low paying job as a teacher's assistant. Even with the differences of where we are at in our lives, we still have a wonderful friendship. She was there during the long years of training and she knows exactly what we had to sacrifice in order to make it to where we are now. I agree with Sally...true friends will endure!

[Phoebe]

I echo people's statements here. I have heard many times the question when is he going to be a real doctor even when he was a PGY6. My longtern friends don't really get it either. They think DH isn't a good father and husband because he isn't around much to help. I think one is projecting her absent, cheating husband onto my DH. I have one friend who is non-medical whose husband who owns his own business and works nasty hours too. We can commiserate.

Luckily, many of my neighbors have husband's that travel a lot for work so they understand the loneliness and isolation. However, most of their husbands are home on the weekends and they don't understand that my husband works a couple weekends a month and why he is usually too tired to get together. They have stopped inviting us.

The money doesn't pay off all the sacrifices and headaches. DH was supposed to get a raise on July 1. It is now September 1 and he just got the raise. They owe us three months in back pay.

Jennifer

I've been feeling blue over the upheaval of the move and lifestyle change this past week, and I swear, the only person who has truely gotten it was my friend whose DH is career Navy.