The Glamorous Life

What do you find to be the most "glamorous" aspect of the life of a dawkter's spouse? 8) Yep. Looking for your sarcastic best here.

NOTE: your comments may be used in an MDFamily article - but all will be unnamed sources.

Buying my clothes at yard sales!

[mommax3]

Shopping for clothes at Target (DH has been finished with residency for FOUR YEARS!) and having DH call me on the cell and caution me about spending too much!

Sally

[Flynn]

Being a SAHM --and knowing your doc spouse CAN'T take a sick day to take care of his wife who has OVER 102 fever with a three week old son and a two year old daughter to take care of. Sick days for residents are there for legal purposes only. They are NOT to be used for any reason.

Realizing you can't afford holiday gifts for extended family let alone each other.

You haven't taken a trip out of state other than to visit family for over 7 years.

Your idea of a date with your doc spouse is buying a bottle of wine, renting a movie, then after the kids are in bed -- doc spouse walks in no early than 9 p.m. and you both fall asleep in the first 20 minutes of the movie.

Watching your friends who went into other fields grow in their professions, vacation with family, and be able to afford more than two bedrooms and one bath.

During training knowing your spouse is smarter and works harder than 99% of a room full of people -- and gets paid less than minimum wage.

Oh the glamour....

Oh where to begin... :clothes:

We're in residency, soooo

Let's talk underwear, or rather underwear bought by your mother-in-law at a garage sale for the whole family because she feels you can't afford to buy any. Can you get any more glamorous than that?

Or, when people find out I'm married to a Derm guy, I become an instant celebrity, who is then asked and shown all manner of skin disorders on all parts of the body just in case some of the doc has rubbed off on me, and I'm talking ALL parts of the body.

(OK so I did accurately diagnose a serious skin cancer on a women who then had it confirmed and removed pronto..but that was an anomalie)

Oh, or how about the fact that my nine year old thinks we are so poor that she offers to take the family to get ice cream with her allowance, in front of g-d and everyone.

[Malpka]

Hmmm. How about holding your whining, thrashing baby on your lap while getting a hack job at Great Clips (the first haircut in 5 months) b/c DH is never home to watch the kids and you can't afford a sitter. Ahhh, fancy.

[Sheherezade]

Well - I posted elsewhere about my great birthday "date" that ended after drinks with me dropped off at the edge of town to walk home. He had gotten called in for an emergency case. For me, that really underscores the most "glamorous" aspect of medical marriage. I swore I would never turn into some shrewish wife who screamed " I don't CARE if she's bleeding to death, this is the fifth recital you've missed!!!!" I'm telling you, I've gotten pretty close. So....I suppose it would be that a medical spouse has to sacrifice many, many elements of a "normal" life - and because she is always competing for time against someone's sick mother/child the wife is automatically a witch. Fun stuff.

My second place "most glamorous moment" was a recent Christmas when a group of wives (friends of mine) were comparing the great Christmas gifts given to them by their husbands. When they got to me, I had to admit my husband got me a paperback book. Wow. I could tell the group thought DH was giving the diamonds to some other woman. The fact is we haven't given each other expensive gifts since medical school poverty began -- so 4 years MS, 4 years OB res, 3 years fellowship=11 years!. Last year, we went into a little financial tailspin at first trying to make up for lost time. Gifts don't matter between us, but the stares of the other women did get me down. No diamond tennis bracelets here.

[Sheherezade]

I have to link to this essay before it disappears from the web. I wonder what everyone here will think. It's called The Doctor's Wife. (warning--it goes after Jewish doctor's wives--no anti-semitism intended by me!!!)

http://www.jbuff.com/doctors_wife.htm

[rainbabies]

[DCJenn]

Ahhh, where to start:

How about trying to buy a half pint of milk and going through the cash card (denied), the first credit card (denied), the second credit card (denied) and finally the third credit card worked. (that would be the one that now has almost 30k on it from adoption expenses...)

How about buying my kids clothes on ebay and at the Kmart by my mom's house (it's cheaper because it's further away from the city).

Even when we had money- I ordered my birthday present, gift-wrapped and had his named signed....oh, honey, you shouldn't have...

Coming home from the grocery store excited bacause I saved 19 bucks w/ coupons.

Keeping our house so cold in the winter that everyone has to wear sweaters. all the time.

Jenn

[rainbabies]

Knowing where the real rich ladies donate...which Salvation Army, Goodwill, St. Vinnies has the best deals on the nicer clothes.

Having to bluntly tell your friends from "home" that you can't call them because you can't afford the long distance.

You have to tell your family that you STILL won't get to see them all the time unless they are driving to see you, because you can't afford the tank of gas it takes to come up more than every 6-8 weeks.

[SueC]

I recall one day, the day I decided I had officially hit rock bottom, when I emptied the piggy bank of all the change I could find and cashed it in in order to pay our gas bill so that it wouldn't be shut off. I then preceded to hit several pawn shops in an attempt to pawn any jewelry I had (all but my wedding ring), but unfortunately it was all much too crappy for them to buy. I then had to go and take out one of those cheesy Payday Loans places so that I could cover the rest of our bills. I could only get $250 ont he Kansas side, so I had to drive over to Missouri for a whopping $500 at an insane interest rate. I felt very classy indeed.
I can't tell you how many times I've sat on the porch watching all of the other husband's coming home, knowing mine isn't coming home anytime soon, perhaps not at all.
One year, I alone watched our kids tear into their gifts from Santa because Daddy was at the hospital.
One time, when our second child was in the hospital with RSV, my dh had to go into work anyway. They figured since he was on the Peds floor, he might as well be working.

[Rapunzel]

I have to link to this essay before it disappears from the web. I wonder what everyone here will think. It's called The Doctor's Wife. (warning--it goes after Jewish doctor's wives--no anti-semitism intended by me!!!)

http://www.jbuff.com/doctors_wife.htm

Ummmm....

Don't know what to say except it only really works if you read it dripping with sarcasm (as in it's just about the opposite of reality)!

I sincerely hope it was meant to be sarcastic and not literal....

Jennifer

[Rapunzel]

Ahhhh, my most "glamorous" moment: Realizing half-way through a friend's tupperware party that I couldn't even afford the crappy orange peeler (about two bucks or so) from the catalog while everyone else was filling out long orders. I went home and just cried on my bed.

Oh here's another glamorous moment: Having our car break down on the interstate between Ft. Worth and Dallas in the middle of the night. My husband, my oldest (baby at the time) and I had to walk about half a mile to the nearest exit to a closed McDonald's and use the payphone to call my dad. We then sat down on the sidewalk in the middle of the night outside of a deserted fast food place until my father could come and pick us all up. Our broken down car got a huge "warning - to be towed" sticker on it but at least we were lucky that illegal salvagers didn't come by and take everything from under the hood (common on that stretch of highway). Truly the glamorous life!

You know that movie "Crash" (about race)? We need to have a "crash" version of medical training - ie What was your "crash" moment?

Jennifer