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Hello,
I am new to this board and the wife of a resident. After 4 years of his call in internship and residency, I still cannot handle them. In fact he is on call tonight and I feel so lonely and alone. I moved to this city not knowing anyone, and after 3 years here I still don't have anyone I could call a friend--someone I could call up and chat with.
On his call nights, I try to distract myself by watching a movie or reading, but I still feel a large amount of dread about them. I don't like sleeping alone, either. The funny thing is that I lived by myself out in the country, where it was very quiet, for 4 years before we moved in together, and I never felt lonely then. Maybe it was because I had friends to hang out with or call who lived in the same city, and now I don't.
Whatever it is, I still have a really hard time not feeling totally anxious when he's on call. Part of it is feeling completely alone, and the other part is envy that he's doing something interesting and important while I'm recovering from my boring, mindless job (legal secretary) in which I accomplish absolutely nothing.
We don't have any kids, and at night I'm too tired from my draining job to go out and volunteer or anything like that. I do take an art class once a week at night which is nice. But what I'd really love to do is have outings with friends scheduled for his call nights--going out to dinner and a movie with friends. I sometimes do this alone, but doing that makes me feel even worse. My hubby has Q3 call this month--ugh. And his specialty is such that he will always have call, even as an attending out in practice. I don't know how I am going to handle his call--and being totally alone--once we move again to a completely new city, where I again know no one and have no support system whatsoever.
Any thoughts?
I am new to this board and the wife of a resident. After 4 years of his call in internship and residency, I still cannot handle them. In fact he is on call tonight and I feel so lonely and alone. I moved to this city not knowing anyone, and after 3 years here I still don't have anyone I could call a friend--someone I could call up and chat with.
On his call nights, I try to distract myself by watching a movie or reading, but I still feel a large amount of dread about them. I don't like sleeping alone, either. The funny thing is that I lived by myself out in the country, where it was very quiet, for 4 years before we moved in together, and I never felt lonely then. Maybe it was because I had friends to hang out with or call who lived in the same city, and now I don't.
Whatever it is, I still have a really hard time not feeling totally anxious when he's on call. Part of it is feeling completely alone, and the other part is envy that he's doing something interesting and important while I'm recovering from my boring, mindless job (legal secretary) in which I accomplish absolutely nothing.
We don't have any kids, and at night I'm too tired from my draining job to go out and volunteer or anything like that. I do take an art class once a week at night which is nice. But what I'd really love to do is have outings with friends scheduled for his call nights--going out to dinner and a movie with friends. I sometimes do this alone, but doing that makes me feel even worse. My hubby has Q3 call this month--ugh. And his specialty is such that he will always have call, even as an attending out in practice. I don't know how I am going to handle his call--and being totally alone--once we move again to a completely new city, where I again know no one and have no support system whatsoever.
Any thoughts?
Coming here for support when you are alone really does help. Forcing yourself to go out, even if just to read at a cafe, really will help. If you are tired you can always have a coffee. It isn't like you have to worry about waking your SO 
or being at your best for your dream job 
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