Has your Dr. SO ever gotten too close to a coworker?

[KCwife]

I think that if you trust your SO it shouldn't be an issue. This is a profession that requires trust on part of the non-med party, IMHO. You will never be able to verify the validity of pages, or calls, or staying late at the hospital...so I choose not to worry about it.

Now, if I thought something was going on....I would go ape$%^&.

I also think that letting his co-workers know that you exist isn't such a bad idea...though I have never stepped foot in this hospital. Just at functions.

I used to volunteer at the hospital in KC, and will probably do that again here. Totally different reason for that though. Also, here they have a volunteer position called "baby cuddler" so I can get my baby fix!

Removed by OP.

[KCwife]

This is just what works for me. You should do what feels right for you.

nope. he's got a lot of faults, but he's crazy loyal, so I don't worry about that.

[mommax3]

Not really.....although I don't think anyone is immune if the relationship they are in is stagnant. That is why we have always tried to have date nights, etc. DH is definitely not a flirt, but he is a good listener and very easy to talk to. He had several close (married) female friends during residency, and one of them also became a close friend of mine. His specialty has a lot of women in it, as well as all of his patients being female, so he is pretty good at communicating with females. However, I know he is able to freeze the "nice" side of himself and be very forbidding if he feels like a boundary has been breached.

During residency, since he was at the hospitals a good bit of the time, the boy(s) and I were occasional visitors (and I was pregnant twice) so all of the nurses, etc. that he worked with pretty much knew he was married and had a family. It was the same when he was doing his military payback, since I gave birth there shortly after we got there. Here, all of the women in his office know who I am, but I am not there too often, and I have not been up on L&D since he started working here.

I know stories of a LOT of doctors/residents getting cozy with nurses, techs, and other doctors. It is a valid concern, but no one should let it take over their relationship.

Sally

I'm with the KC Wife school of thought. Basically, anyone who wants to cheat can (medical or non-medical). I trust DW. I work at the same university but in the pre-clinical years, I had lunch with DW twice. In the clinical years, I never see her in her environment or page her. Sometimes, if it works out, I might meet up with her outside the hospital and ride home with her rather than go home on the bus myself. But that's happened only several times.

Do people hit on my wife? I'm sure they do. Do I think about how that might happen / how often? No, not really. I kind of feel that once you start going down that path (questioning, creating imaginary scenarios, etc.), there is a great potential to really hurt the relationship.

I'm secure in our relationship but like Sally said you also have to work on your relationship (whether it's with a doctor or not). But, I don't think a good way to work on it (for me) is to spend time worrying about what DW is doing at the hospital.

The irony - DW is on-call all night tonight. And tomorrow I leave for business in California. I'm guessing DW won't worry about me while I'm away either.

[lilponygirl]

I will confess that the same thought has crossed my mind. I've come to realize it's more my own insecurity than anything. I know he loves me and would never let anything like that happen, but he is still spending more than twice the waking hours with his coworkers than with me. In the end I guess it comes down to jealousy. I had to learn to cherish the moments I have with him and not worry about the ones I don't.

[migirl]

DH is nothing if not 100% loyal and I'll be honest - this thought has never even crossed my mind.

(It's widely known throughout the department how committed he is to me, to the point that it's a running joke that I keep his balls at home in a jar. :> It's a joke that - apparently - never gets old, as they've used in the roast every single year since we've been here.)

[Vanquisher]

DH is nothing if not 100% loyal and I'll be honest - this thought has never even crossed my mind.

(It's widely known throughout the department how committed he is to me, to the point that it's a running joke that I keep his balls at home in a jar. :> It's a joke that - apparently - never gets old, as they've used in the roast every single year since we've been here.)

This is me too. To the letter.

Oh, Jane. Given his department, I'm sure they have a nice graphic to go with that slide!

I agree with KCwife:

This is a profession that requires trust on part of the non-med party, IMHO. You will never be able to verify the validity of pages, or calls, or staying late at the hospital...so I choose not to worry about it.

Now, if I thought something was going on....I would go ape$%^&.

I've been to his office but just as much for an appointment as to meet and greet.

Oh, Jane. Given his department, I'm sure they have a nice graphic to go with that slide!

you're funny, you little sicko!

[houseelf]

I agree with what Jesher said. DH may have his faults, but he is crazy loyal. We both demand it of the other. This issue of flirting goes both ways for us. (My job brings me into contact with a lot of people on a daily basis). Neither of us flatter ourselves that it is our marginal looks and charms that render us the object of someone's attention. There are always individual who put feelers out there to see if there are any bites. It is a game to them.

Don't get me wrong, it is nice to feel sexy and appreciated on occasion, but both of us immediately start talking about our spouse the moment any boundary is remotely tested. The handful of times I have come onto his service, everyone knows my name and a whole lot about me. A few times people have commented that DH is very devoted to me. Anyway, it is clear that DH has made it known that he is a family man.

I realize that by saying all of this it is almost naive to think that nothing could happen. Actually, I think that it would be the easiest thing in the world for two people to grow apart with a medical profession between them. As they say, the affair would be the symptom, not the cause of the demise of the relationship. It certainly can happen, but we're fortunate that we both try to head it off at the pass ASAP.

Besides, who has the energy for flirting and giving someone else extra attention. We're too tired for any extracurriculars as it is.

Kelly

[Ravenclaw]

Oh Leyla, that's funny! You need to keep a watch out for her. I introduce myself to everyone, so I saw this nurse, and asked her where she worked and she actually works where he does, so I kept talking to her, and she went back and told everyone he works with about me. He was like, why did you start talking about me, he acted shocked. So funny! Do you visit him at the hospital Leyla?

I've never visited him. I've gone in twice with him during his two years here while he checks on something or does some dictations. Most people know that he's married so I don't think anyone would try anything; even if they did I trust him! As for me, I do like telling him whenever a guy comes on to me. I know - I am so evil!!!

As for his ex, I'm hoping she's not still pining for him! We've been together for 4 years and they had broken up 6 mos before we met so I hope she's gotten over it by now

[alison]

Larger? Older? My dh likes older women. And ones with some meat on them (like me).

Larger? Older? My dh likes older women. And ones with some meat on them (like me).

His mom is a larger, older nurse, so I think the assiciation is too disturbing to be tempting