Personal development

I've been thinking a lot about the topic of personal development lately. I'm reading a book called "Midlife Crisis at 30," which discusses this idea (appropriate reading material for me lately).

Anyhow, the book makes an interesting point that many women feel the need to work on their personal development--whether that means advancing in their job or working on personal interests and hobbies--before they get married in order that they can be the best they can be so they can find the best possible spouse. I thought this was an interesting idea because I never felt like I needed to do everything I ever wanted to do before I met my husband or anything like that--I felt like personal development is an ongoing process, one that shouldn't have a defined end point. Just wondered what others' take on this idea is.

Also, I wondered what others do in terms of personal development--i.e. reading, taking classes, book clubs, exercise, working on talents and interests (practicing guitar, etc.). Is this a big priority for people, something you set aside specific uninterrupted time for? Do you have more time now to work on this stuff than say, as a child? Do you set aside time daily or weekly for self improvement/personal development?

[Stella]

I do, definitely. I moved to this city for SO so I didn't have a lot of friends here. I had no job, no place, no nothing when I moved here and really busted my butt to get settled. Needless to say, I relied heavily on SO because he was my only connection. It seemed that it didn't take long for me to rely on him for more than just apartment hunting, but that my happiness relied on him entirely. If we got in an argument, I was crushed.
Anyway, it took a lot of soul searching and "personal development" to take responsibility for all the ways I was feeling and what I felt I didn't have.
SO bought me an easel and I did some art projects. I refinished furniture. I rediscovered the perfect martini. I got a dog. I started cooking again. I picked up a good book. I actually DID stuff that I loved and it makes such a difference. I definitely need my reading, my dog, my home improvements, etc. and I feel that they are very important because, as my interests, they are part of me. Once I got back into the things that I enjoyed, I was a much happier, healthier person and my SO saw that I was returning to the things that made him fall in love with me in the first place.

I know this is a complete hijack here, sorry. But just thought I'd share. And people who do all things just to land a husband?? That's just silly.

[Sheherezade]

I never did any personal development to land a hubby. That is silly. I wonder where they got that idea from in the book?

I think I may have had more hobbies and professional interests before I had little children. Little children simply suck the energy out of your life. It is hard to figure out where the hours of the day go - but at bedtime you are exhausted with little to show for it. When my children got a little older (post-toddler) it was easier to return to hobbies and the like. I still find that it is hard to have meaningful professional development in a part-time position. It seems that the more serious the job, the more hours of the day the employer will require. That's a sticking point. It makes having a big time career at odds with having more time for your kids. But hobbies? you can definitely fit those in. Once again, I think marriage itself has little to do with slowing a woman down. Kids. That's when time management gets difficult.

I met DH when I was 18 (we're 25 now) and it would be a big stretch to say I was personally developed at that age. Anyway, ever since I graduated I've had the need to keep bettering myself with classes. I've taken oil painting, piano, and now ballet. Maybe it's not so much bettering myself as it is fulfilling all my childhood dreams Nonetheless, it's fun!