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If I had but a tenth of this effort.

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  • #16
    for me, too.

    I'm constantly kicking myself asking "What was I thinking??

    I'm sure that she had a different vision of the future. I think that's why we all get so cagey when people talk about life before kids vs. life after. It's a total crapshoot. You have no idea what you are going to face. Roll the dice and hope for the best. I guess it didn't work out for them. Too bad. You like to think that all that success, stamina and energy would help.
    Angie
    Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
    Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

    "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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    • #17
      Originally posted by grasshopper
      Didn't she think about all this BEFORE getting pregnant??????
      Didn't HE?
      ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
      ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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      • #18
        I read that she asked him to stop, after what...the 3rd, 4th, 5th....etc...

        Selfish that he was he did not, each person needs to give 100%



        BTW....most traffic in SAHD board EVER!

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        • #19
          Originally posted by PrincessFiona
          Originally posted by grasshopper
          Didn't she think about all this BEFORE getting pregnant??????
          Didn't HE?
          Touche.

          DH and I have discussed possibly having kids, but have decided to wait until after DH completes residency because DH felt it would be unfair to me. It was actually DH who thought I was on the losing end of the deal. So you are right, why didn't Lance consider that it would be unfair to Kristin?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by house elf
            Didn't she think about all this BEFORE getting pregnant??????
            Probably not. She probably thought that she would beat the odds and manage to carve out her own life pretty readily because she always had done so before. She underestimated how much parenting takes and how much his career would suck up.

            Of course, I'm only extrapolating here....

            Kelly
            I agree with Kelly. I saw her on Oprah once about women and identity. How we as women give pretty much everything we've worked for at the drop of a hat for a man and his career/marriage to an ambitious man and look back 5-15 years later and say "where am I?????" "Who am I???"

            Kristen was extremely well spoken. She was talking about HER responsibility as an adult in an adult relationship. According to her, Lance didn't say "do this do that" she just made choices based on what she thought was the right thing to do.

            I'm SURE Lance bares some responsibility too (duh) but during the interview she was saying how difficult marriage is and how challenging parenting is and how nobody really talks about that. We're brought up to want "the dream."

            In order to accomplish what Lance has -- I'm sure he had to be freaky focused. Why they decided to start a family when they did --- but then I could say the same for us (and we had a much easier road than they did I imagine) and we made it out of training with our marriage intact thank god. Some don't. (sorry for the downer.....just got an email and another surgical spouse announced their divorce. that makes 6 couples we know -- all surgical. -- depressing. )

            Anyway, interesting thread.
            Carry on. Sorry for the hijack.
            Flynn

            Wife to post training CT surgeon; mother of three kids ages 17, 15, and 11.

            “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” —Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets " Albus Dumbledore

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