Desperate Fashionista Diary

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I finally got a tentative itinerary for Austin. This means a list of places to see, restaurants to eat in and things to do at night. All from boards on TripAdvisor. I still want to try and swing by the library at some point before we leave and pick up some books. In the past we've had very good experience with TimeOut guides.

I still need to book a rental car and look into dinner reservations AND do the same thing for San Antonio. I know Jenn has graciously agreed to be my host but I don't want to impose too much.

I also finally decided to just chance stuffing DH's suit for the orals into our current carry-on. I think he'll be ok. I really don't want to spend a few grand on new suitcases right now. Gosh, I can't believe how cheap I still am. Will I ever stop worrying about money? My dream was always to walk into a store and not worry whether or not something was on sale (this includes food stores). But I'm beginning to realize that this will never happen. May be it's for the best. At least I'll be able to keep us from consumer debt and foreclosure.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I told my recruiter that I'm finishing my current gig on April 15th. She just called back to ask when I'll be back from vacation because other departments at the company where I'm currently temping are asking for help. Since I already have security clearance, know the systems and got a glowing review, I'm in high demand. She asked me to call when I get back to let her know if I'll be interested. I guess I'll have a couple of weeks to think about it.

I know I've been bitching about this job and didn't want to put this into the Working section. It's for me to figure out what I want and should do. Ideally I'd be able to come in a bit later and not work all 5 days. I'd also love a bit of a raise, but I guess we'll see what happens when I call her back in May. I just wish energy wasn't so boring.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

It's 4pm and about a week before the orals. DH took this week off to "study." Of course the apt looks like a bomb hit it and I don't get to the laptop until about 9pm. He just called to say that he was very productive today. Since he was sick of studying and freaking out, he decided to drive by the houses that he picked out from the past week of web searching. Nevermind that he still hasn't decided if he wants to stay or that he hasn't done crap around the apt because of course he's studying. So I nicely suggest that if he's that bored, he can go home and do a gazillion of things he should be doing that actually are useful. Instead he's going to co-worker's house (who's also taking the orals), so they can freak out together and bitch about work.

Thank god the orals are next week because I don't know how much longer I can take. This house porn addiction is really driving me nuts. Hopefully after the boards he can concentrate on staying vs not staying and we can move on one way or another.

This week also proved to me once again that he should not be left home alone during his vacation time. He goes completely nuts. Instead of helping even a little bit he comes up with schemes of creating more work for me. Last night he asked where I'd like to deliver in. I said preferably in his dreams. He went on discussing the pros and cons of his hospital vs the competing one. I told him when he's due, he can pick whichever one he wants and I'll fully support him.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

DH is seriously cracking me up these past few days. Last night he was trying to convince me that we HAVE to buy the house he saw earlier in the day. He even started obsession about whether a real estate agent will be able to show it to us since it's for sale by owner. Then he began calculating how much we'll be saving on comission (even though buyers don't pay), then he got upset because I said it's stupid and pointless to be discussing all this right now because he still hasn't made up his mind about staying with the group. To which I got, "I can't believe you're shooting me down yet again. I even went to see this place!" The way he said it was just priceless. He then pouted for a couple more hours just to drive the point home.

This morning he called asking for our new accountant info, I tell him it's on the desktop of the laptop in a word file. He asks if he has to turn the computer on. I ask why he turned off the laptop and he says he didn't and where on the desk is the piece of paper. So I repeat that it's on the desktop. He is once again asking what folder it's in and at this point I'm practically screaming "Desktop!" It took about 10 minutes for me to explain what a desktop is and where to find the file. i can't believe that somebody his age still doesn't know what a desktop is in 2008.

Oh and he confessed last night that he's out of shampoo because he kept using it as a shower gel. The huge shower gel bottle always stands right next to it. Why he goes for one vs the other is still a mystery to me. I guess his own shampoo is better than Nair or one of my expensive conditioners.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Since I wasn't getting much attention here and DH has his nose in a textbook, I decided to put on some heels, a revealing top and take a walk in our local 'hood. In only a couple of blocks I realized I have some options in case I ever get tired of playing a lucrative role of a dawkter's wife. These options promise to be very entertaining if not nearly as lucrative as my current gig.

What really happed was, I took Lily's advice and wore one of my very NY outfits today and then since the weather was so nice and I had absolutely nothing to do at work, decided to call it a day and go home. I work in what the locals like to call "downtown" and my car is parked 3 blocks from the office building. The offers were real though. And this being PA I was fully expected to reply. :huh:

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

The guy I was originally brought in to cover for has an MBA but is dumb as a doorknob. Since I feel bad (stupid me) for doing nothing all day, I asked if he needs help with anything.

DG(dumb guy): I have a graphing project. Wait, can you graph in Excel?
Me: [rolling my eyes slightly and biting my tongue] Yes.
DG: good, ok [reorganizes data on the screen in some weird way for no reason], so this is the data that I put into this simple format for you and the graphs that the system did that I need replicated.
Me: ok
DG: you probably won't be able to do it, so let's try together.

At this point he starts some graphic manipulations that make no sense and obviously not going to work. Don't know the last time he graphed anything, might have been back in B School, if ever. I quietly sit and try not to look too bored and waiting for him to just give up. He does about 5 minutes later and finally asks if I know why it's not working. I try to patiently explain the series function of the graph but meet a blank expression on his face. He realizes that he looks stupid and starts telling me that putting data into series is not the way to go. But obviously nothing else works. Finally I had enough and I diplomatically say that I'll figure it out. He's so happy to be done with it, he immediately agrees.

When I showed him the final result (which is the exact replica of the system graph), he got happy but then realized, he'd have to do it himself for the rest of the data, as I'm leaving. Then he remembered that he can just copy and paste the graph and change the data references to another sheet. Now I'm mad that he's going to pass off my work as his and want to put a password on the graph or insert some intricate steps that will mess him up and he won't be able to resolve.

I think a password is too easy and straightforward. I want to mess him up on a deeper level. This will probably occupy me for the rest of the day. At least I have a meaningful project now.

To those of you not familiar with Excel, here's a medical analogy. This situation would be analogous to a nurse patiently waiting for a Dr. to figure out which end the baby will come out from and taking over when he gives up. But then to mess him up in the future telling him that it only works that way for white patients and then watching him trying to figure it out all over again with an asian patient.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

The "Why I love my husband" thread reminded me of yet another conversation with DH. Right now he has bare minimum life and disability, which I'm planning on increasing once he's done with the boards and we're back from TX (since we have no kids and no house, I can let it slide for now - worse case scenario is that I sell him to the highest bidding pharma/HMO). Last night he started saying that once he gets both, he want to skydive, rockclimb and do other stupid things because he won't care if something happens. Of course I made sure that he knows that if something happens because of his own stupidity, he'll be prompty shipped off to the cheapest nursing home I can find in another state (preferably somewhere in the South). You'd think that would phase him, nope. He said that he's looking forward to be the stud there and getting some STDs. Yup, exact words. No, he's not 5 and yes he has other peoples' lives in his hands all day long.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

This past Saturday I once again made the 100 miles trek to NY. This time it was to see a friend from Colorado who was in town for a conference, some shopping, waxing and dinner with more friends. While I did remember some things that I planned on getting, I once again forgot to get the carrot creme for my hair. For some unknown reason I can't find it anywhere here and have to import it from NY, where it can be found in each and every CVS/Rite Aid/Duane Reade.

I also decide to finally meet my decade-long fear of waxing (after a very painful episode in college) and give it another try. I went to an Indian place that only does sugaring and threading and it actually wasn't that bad. I was very suprised to learn that fronts of my knees are actually the most sensitive areas. Who knew? And all these years I erroneously feared the bikini wax. DH is of course too engrossed in freaking out over the boards to appreciate my sacrifice.

Some days I really miss NY. It was so good to have some kick-ass cocktails and yummy creative Asian food and shop at interesting stores. Then I have to remind myself that while we actually lived in NY, I barely had time for any of that. Even though the tolls and gas just went up, I think I'll try to go more often this summer. Each trip makes me appreciate where we currently live even more.

Yesterday was our 5th year wedding anniversary. For years I've been planning for the first post-training anniversary and the huge party I was going to through as a do-over of the wedding. But as time went by, I became a cheapass and no longer want to spend the money. My first post-training birthday also went by in a blink without a pricey acknowledgement. I do plan to fully make up for both when we're in Puerto Rico in May though. There's this jewelry store in San Juan that I was to do serious damage in. Hey, what's the point of a no-limit gold card if you don't use it, right?

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Also wanted to once again remind everyone that New York'ers are not rude. I gave very detailed nice directions 3 times on Saturday. Although one woman had to ask me if I'm sure. Well, if you know better, why are you asking. I didn't say that out loud though.

It was nice to know that I still look and act local enough to be asked though.

And while in Uniqlo, one of the sales girls started telling me this story about having to go find some jeans for some people who didn't wait for her to get back. I really really wanted to tell her that this day trip was to get away from random people talking to me about things I really don't care about and she's ruining the whole NY thing for me. But I just politely smiled and walked away. I need a safe place to unleash my bitchy side and if NY can no longer offer that, where am I suppose to go?

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

After today I won't be updating this as often. I'm not going to be as bored anymore. Today is my last day at work. Tomorrow will be filled with cleaning and packing, Thursday I drive DH to the airport and camp out at my parents (hopefully with a swing by the outlets in between). Friday my mom and I will be trying our hardest not to kill each other and then I fly out to TX to meet DH in Austin. Hopefully he'll fight the urge to drown himself in the Marriott pool after the orals and make it to TX in one piece.

Also hoping that it won't rain for days during out very brief stay in TX, as the current forecast predicts. The rain is about a week away, so I'm hoping it's not very accurate. I have some plans for a rain day but not for 3 of them. I guess worse case scenario is we get to catch up on the movies we missed out on seeing here. And may be some other activities that were put on hold due to the boards.

I also need to loose about 5 lbs in 3 days so that I can fit back into my summer wardrobe. This part will be fun. The 5lbs is what I gained by going back to work full time. So far in the past week I've been able to drop 1lb, now only 4 more to go. I'll be eating cereal for the next 3 days. Although it should help with the cholesterol too, especially considering all the wonderful fried stuff and red meat I'll be consuming in TX. I have never been able to say no to yummy food regardless of the consequences.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I love traveling but hate leaving our cat behind. She gets depressed the moment she sees suitcases and then mopes around the whole time I'm packing. It wasn't so bad when we left a few times a year but now that DH has tons more time off and we can actually afford to get away, I feel horrible leaving her alone so often. We do have a pet service that comes out to see her every other day but it'll never be the same and she never comes out when we're gone.

Lately I've been really thinking of getting another cat, so she wouldn't be so lonely. But she hasn't interacted with another animal in 8 years and has been a spoiled only child all that time. I have no idea how she'll react to having to share. The whole point of getting another one is to make her feel less lonely, but what if she prefers to be by herself? How do I ask?

We only left this afternoon but I already miss her so much. I've never had a pet growing up and she's the first one. I'm still amazed how attached we are to each other and how much pets understand. Gonna go look at her pics on my phone now.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

It's hard to believe there was a time when I updated this several times a day.

TX was great in a sense that we had a great time. The food was amazing, Austin and San Antonio very interesting, people friendly - especially Jenn H and medpedspouse, but the heat kind of negated a lot of the positives. It was a good visit but we're so not moving South, anywhere South. East, West, Central, no South for us. AC was a great invention but it'll never come close to nice crisp natural NE weather.

Anyway, it's great to be home and not have to go to a stupid boring job. I feel bad for DH though, cause he still had to get up at 5:30am this morning. Oh, well someone has to finance this lifestyle I've gotten accustomed to.

On the great news front, my childhood friend from Ukraine emailed to say that she might be coming for a visit in August. We only see each other every few years, so this will be totally cool since we weren't planning on a reunion until next spring. It was a lot easier to entertain international guests when we lived in NY but I'm stumped as to what to show her here.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I so don't want to finish unpacking and clean up. I have almost 2 weeks of shows to catch up with and well, there's natural laziness to conquer.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I'm officially and certifiably insane. I think my PMS abilities have taken off to a whole new level. I decided to skip my period for the vacation and started a new pack right before we left, so instead of dealing with my hormonal mess last week, I was hit full blown today. I hate PMS and the whole hormonal bullshit.

On top of everything I got this heat rash on my feet in lovely TX and after lathering it with cortizone for the past week, instead of going away it seems to have spread. So now I had to take Benadryl and be home bound.

Although I'm pretty sure that a lot of this rash business has to do with the baby business. My mom's offensive in the past 9 months has interestingly coincided with the onset of rashes I've been suddenly getting during the same time period. In fact, every time I've visited them since last summer, I've broken into some sort of hives or ended up with an upset stomach. Could I be allergic to my own parents? Now if I could only get a doctor's note for this condition.

I'm very close to loosing this battle. DH it seems is creeping ever so closely over the enemy lines and I can't hold up my side alone. A couple of more of these head-to-toe hive episodes and I'll give in. I don't know how much longer I can itch like this, pregnancy doesn't seem so bad right now.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

My rash has gotten so much worse and spread so much that I no longer think it has anything to do with my craziness and is a physical response to something. I'm still on the search as to what. I vacuumed everything yesterday and washed all linens and towels. Then woke up in the middle of the night (party because didn't want to mix benadryl with steroids) scratching myself into pelts. After about an hour or so of making myself even crazier with various crazy thoughts (more on that later), I finally gave up and started rewashing everything just in case in another detergent. At this point it was about 5:30 am. When I'm my normal (for my standards) self, I can sleep until noon easily. DH came home post-call and went to sleep on the mattress pad with bare pillows.

So as promised, here are my crazy thoughts from last night. Since he was on call, the gay couple we're friends with (I think I mentioned them before, one of them works with DH and the other is a manager at Sears, hence the TV) and I went to visit another girl who started with them last summer. Dinner was great, but they have a kid who's almost 1 and the entire night there were references as to why I don't want to play with the baby and practice. They all know how I feel about having babies right now but somehow very few people think I'm serious and believe that they're the ones who will finally convince me to have a change of heart. I know they mean well, but I was super pissed. That on top of DH's recent hint dropping, might have also contributed to the lack of sleep last night.

So I started thinking, that if he really wanted a baby it wasn't very fair to him but that if I give in then it has to be on my terms. So I spent the next hour or so thinking of what my terms would be. First he needs to have disability and life insurance in place before I would even consider taking the patch off. Then at my next gyn appt in August I'm going to bring up the issue of genetic testing. Getting it done and going over the results will take at least 2 months or so, which brings us to November (and my 31st birthday at which my mother is bound to have a nervous breakdown and/or strangle me unless I announce that we've finally decided to start trying). The general concensus seems that it takes on average about 6 months to flush the hormones from BC out, which brings us to April (I highly doubt I'll be pregnant by this point and in any case it wouldn't be that far). I've been dying to have a professional photoshoot since I started planning for the wedding and had to get a photographer that fit the budget instead of the one I really wanted. So for our 6th anniversary and definitely before the baby, I want to finally do this. I even already have a list of locations in NY that I want to go to. And my final stipulation is that I want to have a house by the time the baby is born because I need to know I have an option to hire a live-in in the case that I get completely overwhelmed (family members are not an option). The house timeline is roughly a year from now, so I think is totally doable. If he wants a baby then we're staying here and having one. If he's not sure he wants to stay, the baby topic is off the table until he figures it out. I'm fully aware that I can only control whatever happens before and will not have any control over what happens after, which is why I'm freaking out and making all these mental lists and timelines.