Desperate Fashionista Diary

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

To cheer up those in training, DH currently has so much free time at work that he begs me to call me and chat. Yesterday during his 24-hr Saturday call, he called to ask me to bring lunch and come hang out. It was so weird, like Twilight Zone. I was so conditioned during residency that the hospital was his domain that I couldn't penetrate that yesterday experience was totally bizzare. In my defense the hospitals in NY are so icky that I wouldn't go in unless absolute necessary and tried not to touch anything while I was there. Plus he was so busy doing scut work that he wouldn't be able to talk to me during the day even if he wanted to.

Yesterday he gave me a tour of the main campus and it felt like an airport terminal but very empty. It didn't look or small like a hospital at all. His private call room had a computer station with printer, flat screen with cable, microwave, fridge and a stuffed cupboard and a private bathroom w/shower. And housekeeping cleans throughout the shift and makes his bed. No wonder he doesn't mind calls so much.

I'm not used to hanging out with him in the hospital and after we finished lunched I bolted home. The whole experience was just so weird. Good weird but weird.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

So yesterday I filled DH in on the master plan for next year and he actually said that it makes sense and gives us plenty of time to figure things out and not rush into anything. He of course added that he still thinks I'm crazy but I know he appreciates that I do enough thinking for both of us. Then we drove around some new neighborhoods and found yet another place that we absolutely love. The problem is that it's very shnazzy and average house is way more than I feel comfortable spending. But it was so pretty and exclusive and we would totally move in tomorrow.

For now I'm trying to set up a meeting with a real estate agent that we met back when DH was still interviewing. She's a native here and has been doing it for over 20 years and totally not pushy at all. I also asked at the rental office and we can do a 9 month lease instead of a 12 month one. We have about two weeks to think about it and let them know.

My best friend from college rented a summer house in Poconos that's about an hour away from here, so we'll be seeing them a lot more over the next few months. I still can't stand her husband, but at least DH likes him. Although I was looking forward to enjoying the 4th of July fireworks from their windows in NY. But I guess we can always do it next year.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

After our wedding yesterday and today can possibly be the best days ever. Yesterday the year and a half long ordeal with Albany was finally closed with a slap on the wrist and a warning not to do anything stupid again. Today the oral results were posted and DH PASSED. I'm trying to decide which event I'm happier about. This past year he's been going absolutely insane about his license and what happens if he can't repeated pass the boards and making plans from moving to Canada to doing locum tenens in Alaska. Seriously, those were both considered, among other equally crazy options.

I wonder if all this means I'll get back the person I first fell in love with back in college before all this medical nightmare claimed him. I don't even remember that person all that clearly. I'm most familiar with the underslept, overworked, twitchy, constantly preoccupied, forever attached to a textbook and largely absent man, that for the reasons unknown to me and everyone else I still ended up marrying.

I hope he doesn't ask for a passing present on top of the new TV. But at least I feel better about spending so much on it. He needs something big to celebrate. We're also going to Shula's steakhouse to celebrate tonight. Which probably means, it's time to hit the shower.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I know I've been talking about DH still deciding if he likes his job and if he wants to stay and now I'm talking about a full on house search. But he's been much happier with the job after the boards and has learned to stand up for himself and it's going well. The issues he has with the place aren't serious and won't necessarily be solved by going elsewhere. We've started making friends here and really like the area and he knows that a house is a step in the baby direction and he definitely wants to move in that direction.

I'm not 100% sold on the idea but I'm warming up to it and it's still some time until I'll have to be completely sold.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Puerto Rico was amazing, despite DH's constant bitching and kvetching, we had a very good time. Of course the shopping was great too and we've spent oodles of post-training money. Also ate a lot, drank tons and got burned.

I know I've done my share of bitching about the boards and DH studying all the time but now that he has all this time on his hands, he has no idea what to do with it. All day long it's, "I'm bored...I'm hungry...what are you doing?..talk to me..." I need to find him a project. Any ideas?

Off to catch p with all the gossip I missed while away.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

It was a lot easier to update this blog while I was totally bored at work. Somehow at home there are too many distractions. But there's a chance I might be bored at a random office in the next few weeks. Recruiters have been calling non-stop but nothing has materialized just yet. I think they're somewhat frustrated with our vacation schedule. I know we won't be able to travel as much once we buy a house, so we're trying to get everything in now.

We started looking at houses and DH realized that the process will take way longer than he originally thought. So we renewed the lease for 9 months. I'm not in a hurry, the market is still settling and we'll be able to save for a few extra months and may be get a new bed and couch all at once. The stuff I like is pricey and if we want to avoid going into debt, we can only do one furniture purchase a month.

I've also stopped taking my cholesterol pills. DH is convinced that they were responsible for my rash and it did go away about a week after I stopped taking them. I'm going to try and control our diet better. I retake the blood test in 2 months, if my efforts don't amount to anything, I'll try another medication. It'll be hard to cut our meat and dairy intake but I'm hoping that getting creative will improve my cooking skills.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Apparently having too much time on your hands is not a good thing either. DH is climbing walls and pissing me off. I didn't realize that my new job is the social director on top of everything else and didn't have fun activities planned for every chunk of free time. Left to his own devices for a few hours on Saturday, he went nuts. I was very close to driving off without him and he just couldn't believe that I would actually do that. The only thing that saved him is our GPS that malfunctions, so I was stuck in the parking lot for a few minutes longer than expected. Then he was pissed that I was going to leave without him and we proceeded to not talk for an hour while in the car and barely talk at my friend's house (where we were going). He can be such a 5 year old sometimes. It totally makes me :banghead: and . We totally made up by Sunday night but he was super annoying me entire weekend.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

As much as I hated my last temp job, I've decided to take another one starting on Monday. So, my weblog will be updated on daily basis as before. This is way too much time for DH and I to spend together and if he can't find a project for himself, I will. Plus, it'll be good not to loose my skill set just in case and after all it's some extra spending money (i.e. more shoes).

Good news - we saw a house that we both really liked but it still has some negatives that we're not sure how much of negatives (not much of a yard, so-so school district, lots of skylights, etc.) they are because we saw the house with a sucky agent. And we just started looking, so I don't feel confident enough to move in on something just yet. It's been on the market for about 5 months and is being sold by an estate of the deceased owners. I think it'll still be on the market for at least another month or even more. Although people do tend to look more in the summer. I'd really prefer to see it again with the other agent, so she can tell us more about how it's prices, where it's located and how bad the negatives are.

Great news - my childhood friend from Ukraine is definitely coming to visit in August. She emailed me today that she got the tickets. We only see each other every few years but chat online pretty often. It was my turn to fly over there (she's been here twice but I've only been back once), but hey if she's willing to make the trek, who am I to talk her out of it. We have tentative plans to see Chicago and Niagara Falls, since she'll be here for 2 weeks and there's only so much we can do locally.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Seriously in comparison to my mother, I'm the most sane person ever. She just called from her Alaska cruise. I told her that it's almost 11pm here and her reply was, "But it's only 7pm here!"

I've realized that it's not house hunting that's totally stressing me out but DH. I'm used to taking my time to find what I want and wait for bargains. He has no concept of shopping. He's not interested in anything that he can't just walk in and buy. Why walk into a store or a house if you're not planning on buying anything? Um, to look and figure out what you want. Duh! I'm seriously considering doing further looking on my own and showing him something only when I'm ready to make an offer.

Even our friends have picked up on the fact that one of the main reasons I took this temp job is to get away from DH for a few hours a day. Well, that and the fact that I miss dressing up and using my brain.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I really thought I'd be updating this more often once I'm back at work but I actually have things to do here and not as bored as I was last time. I just wish they would pay more and have a flexible schedule. Since I basically temp between vacations, DH calls it my "hobby." But hey at least this hobby brings money in instead of taking it out.

We have only been seriously house hunting for a few weeks but he's already driving me insane. He's convinced that if we haven't seen anything we can both agree on yet, that we never will and absolutely HAVE to take the best thing out there at this particular moment. I feel like we have tons of time to keep looking for a house that we'll both like and he just wants to get it over with. I can't believe he's willing to pay so much money for just something purely to get it over with. And then what? Wake up every morning trying to talk yourself into liking this something? No way.

Another big contension is that I'm very set on changing a few things in any house. Having the kitchen done to suit my specific needs is huge for me. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen and don't want to be frustrated that entire time. He doesn't understand why I don't like houses where everything has been already remodeled. Because regardless of how nice the counters are, they are still at least 3 inches taller than where I'd like them to be, because after a year of struggling with an electric stove I'm totally sick of it, because I'm sick of having the apt filled with smoke and would like an exhaust that does more than make lots of noise, etc... His answer, "I don't want to deal with contractors." As if he'll even meet them. I'm close to shipping him off somewhere and then telling him what his new address is.

But that only gets us back to me doing everything my way and then getting upset that he's not helping.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Heidi's post on clueless people and stupid things they say got me thinking. Another stupid comment that I get all the time and hate is "You can train yourself to be a morning person." Seriously, it's not like I just started to wake up early yesterday or last week. I've had to be up before 8am for most of life and hated it each and every day. If my body and mind haven't got used to it in 27 years, then what hope do I have going forward? I realize that I have to do it but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Let it go. Does this shortcoming bother you personally, no, then stop commenting on it. I'm sure everyone has some quirks that other people find ridiculous, so unless you want me to push all your buttons all the time, LET IT GO.

In my defense, this condition is gentic to certain extend. My dad was the same way. Now that he's approaching 60, it's a lot easier for him to be up earlier but when he was in school his dream was to be a firefighter because they don't have to be up early every day. Other little boys wanted to do heroic things and go off into space and he wanted to sleep in late.

I love my dad but not some of the things I've inherited from him.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

First I thought that if we can go through med school intact, we can handle anything, then it was if we can stay married through residency, nothing can touch us. Now, I'm slowly realizing (I haven't used my favorite word in a while) that the house hunting will finally do us in.

DH goes from "OMG, I can't believe you're making me drive 30 minutes each way!!!" and pouting for days to "What's an extra 10 minutes for a right house." AAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I'm ready to kill him. Then he goes from very expensive way out of our range houses to total fixer-uppers that need to be completely gutted. I'm all up for doing bathrooms, changing the kitchen a bit, painting, but I'm not crazy about having to redo all floors, rip out walls, etc. Then it's "I can't possibly live in a house that's less than 4000 sq ft!" How does he know that if he never lived in anything more than our current 1300sq ft apt. I'm not about take care of a 3 floor huge ass house. Because we both know it'll be all me.

Oh, and he's also afraid we'll outgrow a 4 bedroom, 3000sq ft house because get this...we're having 3 kids. I have no idea where he's getting this from, I'm still trying to get comfortable with the idea of doing this once. Don't quote me later, but unless he's planning on popping them himself, 3 is just not in our future. I can already feel this biting me on the ass 5 years down the road.

Another huge point of contention with us is that school district. I'm absolutely in love with historic districts, which seem to be very hot regardless of the fact that none of them are in a great school district. Good or great school districts only have subdivisions or horrible ugly septic houses. Totally not interested. The elementary schools are pretty good in historic areas but it gets weird after that. On one hand we don't need to worry about that for at least 10 years, on the other hand there's the resale value to think about. But since we don't have any kids yet, I don't see a reason to be misreable in a wrong house just for the school district we don't need.

I HATE HOUSE HUNTING!!!!

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I need to vent about MIL, yet again. Just when I thought that we finally reached a civil stage in our relationship, she does something that totally sends me off the edge.

Yesterday we had an appt with an insurance guy to get DH set up for disability and life. I told him that I'm not buying a house or even considering children without both being set in place first. Everyone agrees that it is a reasonable request and are surprised we haven't done it sooner. So last night DH is talking to MIL and telling her about the appt and the coverage we ended up going with. She didn't seem to have much problems with the disability, as obviously her precious baby would be the recipient of that. But it took DH over half an hour to explain to her why we decided to insure him for $1mil and that as soon as we have kids, he wants to increase it to $3mil. I have no idea what she said to him and could only hear his end but he kept repeating things like, "But mom, how is Julie going to manage a huge house on her own," "I want to provide for my family even after I'm gone," "It's not fair to leave my wife without any help after I'm gone," and such. It was so obvious to her that I'm trying to profit from her baby's death. As if I already have a contract out for him and now just waiting for the ink on the policy to dry. I hate that woman so much, words can't possibly describe it.

All this on top of everything she said last weekend. I was doing my best not to pick a fight with her on the account of DH's birthday but she made my blood boil the entire time we were in Brooklyn. She kept going on and on about BIL's fiancee and how dumb and stupid the girl is and how her poor baby will suffer for the rest of his life. I was trying to explain that really it's none of her business and he was an adult and that 6 years ago she was very much against our marriage but seemed to have come around. Then she said, "Well, I was so sure that you'll do what your mother says and will want to live in NJ next to your parents." First of all, how does this automatically make me bad wife material and second of all at that point DH and I were together for over 5 years and not once did I exhibit any of those qualities. If she ever bothered to listen to me or to look at my actions or to even get to know me, she'd know that I was the complete opposite of the image in her head. I'm not completely convinced that she has shed that image even now.

She is also completely oblivious to the fact that both of her sons feel that she's a terrible wife and have chosen women who are nothing like her.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I know I've been bitching a bit lately but I just need to vent yet again. DH was just driving me NUTS today. I know that he worked on and off all weekend (Fri-Sun) but it's not my fault, so I don't see why I should be the one punished. I didn't sit with my feet up any of those days either. So he gets off early this morning and instead of taking a nap insists to stop by my work and take me to lunch. The entire hour he's on the phone arranging with a friend back in NY to see his brother's knee and do some x-rays, then calling his brother with the info, then updating his mother with what happened. Why this couldn't be done before or after I have no idea. What was the point of insisting that we go to lunch together. I would have been a lot happier eating a sandwich and reading my book.

So I've been pissy at him since lunch. After work I had a tennis lesson and then had to go to the store to pick up my prescription and a few grocery things. When I got home at 7:30pm, I didn't even get a chance to put the food in the fridge before he started whining that he's hungry. All he had to do was take stuff out and heat it in the microwave, which is what I did. But no, he waited for me to come home and do it. After cleaning up and putting away the groceries, his cousin called and I was trying to arrange when we can get together with them. Then I was paying the bills. The whole time he was whining that he wants a milkshake.

I didn't get to check my email until 10pm. At which point he started whining that the downstairs neighbors are making too much noise and he can't sleep again. Well, you know what grow some balls and deal with it. I just don't care anymore. If he doesn't like that I treat him like a 5 year old, then he should stop acting like one.

I'm just so fed up with his childish behavior that I don't even want to go to bed because he'll just started whining and complaining about something else.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

OMG! I'm still processing this but I was at the derm this morning and one of the questions on the new patient application was "Do you intend on becoming pregnant in the next year?" And I actually checked the Yes box. For the record I was still wearing the patch when I did that. I'm also not planning on taking it off for several more months, but we do seem to be heading in that direction.

There are a few ducks that need to be lined up beforehand (see my post about The Plan somewhere below). According to my plan, those things should be done by my birthday (November) and then I can celebrate the definite progression into the 30s without the patch. Hopefully we'll also have a better idea as to what is going on house-wise.

I've also cautiosly told my mom about some of the things that I'd like to have in place first and she agreed that it was the right decision and has left me alone. Hopefully because she feels that there has been progress in regard to the baby issue.