Desperate Fashionista Diary

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

My family has been pressuring me to get off BC for years. In Eastern Europe hormones are still evil. My mom is even refusing to take them for her menopause. The patch didn't come off for them. DH and I started talking about it after he passed the orals. Now that he's physically and emotionally available and we can even afford help if need be, most of my issues have disappeared. I'm still not looking forward to the pregnancy or birth but knowing that he'll be there for me every step of the way helps deal with my (mostly) irrational fears.

Except that DH was on call all of last weekend and will probably be recovering most of this week. So no trying just yet. Sorry for TMI but I feel that we've shared way beyond this already.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

We finally made our first big purchase for the house today. Well, it was more for me than for the house. I got a new stove and hood (the store wouldn't order the stove without the hood because it needs one with extra suckage). On the upside they offered to fill our propane tank at a super cheap price and do the delivery and install for free. Not to mention that their pricing beats whatever I could find on the web. So far, I'm really loving local suppliers/companies.

To make myself feel better about all the spending today, I'm going to IKEA tomorrow to look at their closet systems. I didn't like anything in HD or Lowes and the one Costco sells doesn't come in configurations I need. Container Store is a pain to get to, but I'm keeping it as a last resort. There are also 2 cabinet people that were recommended for custom jobs, so I might give them a call as well. I can't find a dining room table I like and might have to order one. May be I can get a discount on a big order.

On the non-house front, we haven't talked to our gay friends since New Year. I was getting a bit annoyed by them in the past few months and needed to put some distance between us. We used to hang out a few times a week and it was just getting too much. The non-doctor guy (L) decided that he's now totally comfortable with me to discuss their sex life in detail and I just wasn't ready to go there. I tried saying that it was way TMI but he just keeps going. I don't get into such detail even my close girlfriends. Shouldn't there be some things that stay within a couple. They're also pretty broke because they bought their current house prior to selling the old one and still can't get rid of it almost 2 years later, plus L hasn't been working since May. I totally get being broke but they talk about it all the time and throw it in our faces to some extend. They've mentioned several times how when we hang out at their house we drink their beer (never mind that we ALWAYS bring something and often buy groceries for the entire meal), when we go out they'll add up their order to the pennies to see if we need to pay $5 more than them... We do feel bad and when R works and we (or me) is out with L, we'll always pay for him, but now I don't even want to go to their place because I feel like they'll be counting how much water I drink. They refuse to change their lifestyle (i.e. their cleaning woman still comes weekly) and just bitch ALL the time. L also complains how he's bored a lot, well if you let go of the cleaning woman, you'll get something to do and save money. I just find them so annoying lately. Even typing this makes me angry.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Getting off BC made me think more about my relationship with my mother and how different we really are. She's a huge people pleaser and always puts herself last. She also has the need to have and do things just like her friends. She's an energizer bunny, her mind working at all times, she can't be unoccupied for 5 minutes before starting to look for a new project. She's always had a very unhealthy self image. But all these things also made her a great mom, as she tried her hardest to make sure I have none of her hang-ups. And I don't. In all of the above, I'm a complete opposite of her. And I have her to thank for that. I worry about being only half as good when my time comes.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Weekend update. Saturday was DH's holiday party. Lame as usual, except that the expensive country club is under renovations, so it was held at a cheaper one. The number one thing that id'ed it as the cheaper one was the fact that we had to walk from the parking lot around the building to the front entrance...in evening shoes...in the snow. Yeah, any CC that doesn't have valet parking and doesn't allow you to pull up to the front door isn't a real CC in my eyes. I guest most partners felt that way as the attendance was poorer than usual. Luckily we clicked with a couple we don't usual socialize with but they'll be our new neighbors (within walking distance) and the wife not being local helped a lot. It'll take many more years to get the NY snob out of me.

Sunday we had to shlepp to DH's cousin for an annual family get together, plus to meet the newest addition. The baby made a 2 minute appearance, during the entire length of which everyone had to "Ooh" and "Ahh" at the little scrunched up something in a huge pink dress. Whatever, at least we ate well. I was the only one who cared enough to keep FIL away from sweets (he has a gazillion medical issues). MIL decided to be nice and pay me a compliment. "Julie, you look so nice with make-up on." At least, I choose to take it as a compliment.

Then as we were driving home my BF from NY called to ask if we had any plans today and if they could come over. They wanted to come on Friday but I told them we already have a full weekend. I told her that DH was working until 2pm but I was free. It was about 10:30pm by the time they made it, but I'm always happy to see her. They bring a bottle of red and I ask if they want to open it, to which her husband says, "We can't, we're expecting." I proceeded to flip out for about an hour or so. I always considered her my last refuge, that it's ok for me to put it off as long as I have her in my camp. I was so shocked. I was happy for her but it was a huge shock. We always talked about how we're not ready and there's always time and to find out that she's 4.5 months along was just a huge shock. She knew that I'd react like that though. Her DH kept saying that I'm reacting exactly the same way she warned him I would. That I would flip but he shouldn't be offended. I do felt all left out though now.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Next time I mention that renovating or decorating a house is fun, feel free to smack me. I'm ready to shoot myself. I just got another 13 paint samples (on top of the 20 I already have in patches all over the house). That was enough to qualify me for a free color consult, which I promptly scheduled for Wed.

More to follow in the Around the House section.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Now that I've more or less come to terms with this baby thing, DH has started freaking out. We've talked ad nauseam about getting of BC and I've told him at least a hundred time how last month was my las box and then two weeks ago how it was my last patch and if he was sure we shouldn't get a refill. He's been the one nudging all these years. Now that I've been BC clear for a week, he is too freaked out to have sex. Last weekend when our friends from NY were visiting, we were out at a nice restaurant and she was going over things I should try to limit or refrain from and he suddenly realized this is the point of no return and proceeded to gulp down a whole bottle of wine all by himself. He's been really weird during the day and pretending to be asleep at night. WTF? Should I call in a refill? When I try to talk to him, he says that nothing is wrong and I'm imagining things.

On the remodeling front - the granite is picked, I'm very close to selecting sinks and a faucet for the kitchen, we still can't decide on which laminate to go with in the family room, I still have 13 more color samples in my trunk and the flooring guy is coming tomorrow. Hopefully next week, I can start thinking about the master bath. We've also found really great chairs (both dinning and bar) but I'm still at a loss what to do for a table.

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

Here are some before pictures of the house.

First floor living space (dinning room, living room, kitchen, entrance hall).

View from front door (includes the christmas tree previous owners left us).


Living room area


Dinning room area


Kitchen



Guest Room(s) - they're more or less identical


Guest bath


Upstairs office loft


Upstairs master sitting area


Upstairs master bath



Upstairs master

[Vishenka69]

Re: Desperate Fashionista Diary

I'm really trying to stay positive, but I just can't help but feel that those of us who are more successful than others are being punished. If the new tax laws go into effect, we'll be paying more for everything, while others are getting refunds and paying nothing. I don't understand how arbitrary $250K was picked. At this point, it's almost worth for DH's salary to go down to $249K. Although there's lots of talk throughout his hospital that this is the beginning of the end for private practice. Nobody knows what will happen once everyone is converted to hospitalists. I'm trying to gage if it even makes sense for me to take the GRE. Or should I just bite the bullet and do an MBA. But if his salary remains at it's current level, it makes no sense for me to work, because we'll be left with barely anything after the new taxes take effect.

I'm just confused and trying not to freak out like all the screaming heads on TV are urging me to.

It's also really scary to buy things for the house, not knowing what our future is, even a year out.

[Vishenka69]

I realized today that the last time I had a good night sleep was in November on the cruise. In retrospect, having an inside cabin was the best thing we did. I've been so worried about the house and the renovations and now the money that I keep going through various lists and scenarios in my mind all night long. I was the same way leading up to the wedding. I didn't sleep for months and then crashed on the honeymoon. Not sure I'll have that option now, as moving in won't really solve the money issues. I'm already delaying finishing the master shower and we're not buying any furniture. But it's hard to put off things like tp holder. We have no idea what the landscaping or the pool will look like once it gets warmer and the outside of house needs to be treated (it's all cedar). I really hope I don't regret being a homeowner.

[Vishenka69]

By the time I read Kris' instructions on how to move the blog, mine was already here, so I was majorly confused as to what I'm suppose to do. Thanks to whoever moved it here.

Since I still can't shut my mind off at night, I've started channeling it to thinking of something useful. Last night I decided to drop off all my winter dry cleaning a few days before the move and then pick it up a few days after the move. I'm also going to do the same thing with winter shoes/boots that need to be fixed. Alison gave me an idea to try and unload stuff we're planning on trashing very soon after the move and just doing without until we can afford to replace. No sense in paying to move trash from place to place. Now if I can just figure out how to get the hard drive out from a computer that doesn't boot, I'll be all set.

The house is definitely beginning to look like After. I need to organize my Before, so that I can have side by side progress.