Anyone else out there pregnant or trying? ( 1

You know, time flies by so quickly. I remember thinking that people in their 40s were "up there" in age. I remember being 27, and I couldn't even imagine being 30! But what is three years? Nothing! I didn't even meet Andrew until I was 30, and now, at 40, I look back and it seems like a blink of the eye in terms of time. I was 33 when he started residency, and we were in no financial position for kids living in a big, expensive city, having no parents to help us, having major student loans from my two degrees and his three degrees, plus I wanted to use the job training what I'd worked so hard to get via coop terms and graduate school. I wanted to establish my career so taking time off would be easy. So that is what we did. And the time goes by so quickly, especially when it takes a long time to get pregnant (over a year), then you have the pregnancy, then the babies, then by the time you are ready to try again, it's five years after you started, minimum! Our original plan was to have two or three, spaced just over a year apart. I was taking for granted that I'd have the easy pregnancies my mom had, and the healthy children she had over 40. She had my brother at 41 and my sister at 45 (her fifth and sixth children).



Oh well, I could go on and on. At the end of the day, Andrew and I feel so incredibly blessed for Grace and Natalie. We shake our heads all the time and wonder how it is that we have such wonderful children. There is not a single day that we don't cherish and appreciate them. They are the ultimate gift in our lives. Nothing will ever come close. Sooooo... I need to focus on what is wonderful, and not what I would do if I were younger.



All this said, my husband wants me to try for another, risks and all!!! How can men be so nervey about these things? If THEY had to do it, they'd wimper the entire way!!!

You know, time flies by so quickly. I remember thinking that people in their 40s were "up there" in age. I remember being 27, and I couldn't even imagine being 30! But what is three years? Nothing! I didn't even meet Andrew until I was 30, and now, at 40, I look back and it seems like a blink of the eye in terms of time. I was 33 when he started residency, and we were in no financial position for kids living in a big, expensive city, having no parents to help us, having major student loans from my two degrees and his three degrees, plus I wanted to use the job training what I'd worked so hard to get via coop terms and graduate school. I wanted to establish my career so taking time off would be easy. So that is what we did. And the time goes by so quickly, especially when it takes a long time to get pregnant (over a year), then you have the pregnancy, then the babies, then by the time you are ready to try again, it's five years after you started, minimum! Our original plan was to have two or three, spaced just over a year apart. I was taking for granted that I'd have the easy pregnancies my mom had, and the healthy children she had over 40. She had my brother at 41 and my sister at 45 (her fifth and sixth children).



Oh well, I could go on and on. At the end of the day, Andrew and I feel so incredibly blessed for Grace and Natalie. We shake our heads all the time and wonder how it is that we have such wonderful children. There is not a single day that we don't cherish and appreciate them. They are the ultimate gift in our lives. Nothing will ever come close. Sooooo... I need to focus on what is wonderful, and not what I would do if I were younger.



All this said, my husband wants me to try for another, risks and all!!! How can men be so nervey about these things? If THEY had to do it, they'd wimper the entire way!!!

You know, time flies by so quickly. I remember thinking that people in their 40s were "up there" in age. I remember being 27, and I couldn't even imagine being 30! But what is three years? Nothing! I didn't even meet Andrew until I was 30, and now, at 40, I look back and it seems like a blink of the eye in terms of time. I was 33 when he started residency, and we were in no financial position for kids living in a big, expensive city, having no parents to help us, having major student loans from my two degrees and his three degrees, plus I wanted to use the job training what I'd worked so hard to get via coop terms and graduate school. I wanted to establish my career so taking time off would be easy. So that is what we did. And the time goes by so quickly, especially when it takes a long time to get pregnant (over a year), then you have the pregnancy, then the babies, then by the time you are ready to try again, it's five years after you started, minimum! Our original plan was to have two or three, spaced just over a year apart. I was taking for granted that I'd have the easy pregnancies my mom had, and the healthy children she had over 40. She had my brother at 41 and my sister at 45 (her fifth and sixth children).



Oh well, I could go on and on. At the end of the day, Andrew and I feel so incredibly blessed for Grace and Natalie. We shake our heads all the time and wonder how it is that we have such wonderful children. There is not a single day that we don't cherish and appreciate them. They are the ultimate gift in our lives. Nothing will ever come close. Sooooo... I need to focus on what is wonderful, and not what I would do if I were younger.



All this said, my husband wants me to try for another, risks and all!!! How can men be so nervey about these things? If THEY had to do it, they'd wimper the entire way!!!

I just had to say, Janet, that seeing the health issues you have (including difficulties with conceiving and pregnancy) that it seems like a sonderful thing that you had twins! OK, that sounds weird, but let me explain: suppose you'd only had one child and it had turned out to be so difficult with conceiving and the pregnancy that you figured out what you know now - that you wouldn't have any more kids. So, this way, you have two! I'm being Pollyanna, I know, but that is what I was thinking about reading your post. I like my girls, too. There are some really neat things about having twin daughters.



Jennifer

I just had to say, Janet, that seeing the health issues you have (including difficulties with conceiving and pregnancy) that it seems like a sonderful thing that you had twins! OK, that sounds weird, but let me explain: suppose you'd only had one child and it had turned out to be so difficult with conceiving and the pregnancy that you figured out what you know now - that you wouldn't have any more kids. So, this way, you have two! I'm being Pollyanna, I know, but that is what I was thinking about reading your post. I like my girls, too. There are some really neat things about having twin daughters.



Jennifer

I just had to say, Janet, that seeing the health issues you have (including difficulties with conceiving and pregnancy) that it seems like a sonderful thing that you had twins! OK, that sounds weird, but let me explain: suppose you'd only had one child and it had turned out to be so difficult with conceiving and the pregnancy that you figured out what you know now - that you wouldn't have any more kids. So, this way, you have two! I'm being Pollyanna, I know, but that is what I was thinking about reading your post. I like my girls, too. There are some really neat things about having twin daughters.



Jennifer

I know what you mean, Jennifer. I am sooooooo thankful for twins, even though I often complain about the fighting to my friends with one child. I complain because in the back of my mind I always wanted to experience one child at a time. But that is not how it is for me. Which is OK. Multiples are not that common for a reason--it's tough work!!! You should buy this book for your girls for Christmas: Two Peas in a Pod. Look it up on Amazon.com. It's the cutest book about twins I've seen!!!



People with one child just do not understand how hard it is to raise toddler twins. The fighting, the competition, the lack of time you have to spend with each ALONE (which is good for them now and then). I also shake my head and wonder how moms and dads with triplets or more do it!



That's too bad that this pregnancy hasn't been easier for you. However, you don't have the worries that you had last time, which must be a welcomed thing. I remember your description of how it was with the TTS (for those of you who don't know, that's twin to twin transfusion, a potentially fatal and frightening condition with identicals that share a placenta). I didn't have TTS to contend with, just almost bleeding to death. And with a hemmoglobin of 51 after their birth and another hemmhorage 4 weeks later, I just don't think I could do it again... even if I were younger!



All that said, I'm someone who often sees and feels things in very mixed ways. So, while I don't want to have another one now, I'm greiving the fact that there will not be another little one in our family. I'm giving serious thought to adoption, actually. I know my husband thinks adoption is an option, but he would perfer us to have our "own" (whatever that means). Personally, if a child is ours to raise, love, and nuture, it's "our own" no matter who gave birth to it. And for that, I don't have to worry about time. We could wait until our girls are a little older and still explore that.



Blah, blah, blah! Thanks for talking about this. I am a bundle of contradictions...

I know what you mean, Jennifer. I am sooooooo thankful for twins, even though I often complain about the fighting to my friends with one child. I complain because in the back of my mind I always wanted to experience one child at a time. But that is not how it is for me. Which is OK. Multiples are not that common for a reason--it's tough work!!! You should buy this book for your girls for Christmas: Two Peas in a Pod. Look it up on Amazon.com. It's the cutest book about twins I've seen!!!



People with one child just do not understand how hard it is to raise toddler twins. The fighting, the competition, the lack of time you have to spend with each ALONE (which is good for them now and then). I also shake my head and wonder how moms and dads with triplets or more do it!



That's too bad that this pregnancy hasn't been easier for you. However, you don't have the worries that you had last time, which must be a welcomed thing. I remember your description of how it was with the TTS (for those of you who don't know, that's twin to twin transfusion, a potentially fatal and frightening condition with identicals that share a placenta). I didn't have TTS to contend with, just almost bleeding to death. And with a hemmoglobin of 51 after their birth and another hemmhorage 4 weeks later, I just don't think I could do it again... even if I were younger!



All that said, I'm someone who often sees and feels things in very mixed ways. So, while I don't want to have another one now, I'm greiving the fact that there will not be another little one in our family. I'm giving serious thought to adoption, actually. I know my husband thinks adoption is an option, but he would perfer us to have our "own" (whatever that means). Personally, if a child is ours to raise, love, and nuture, it's "our own" no matter who gave birth to it. And for that, I don't have to worry about time. We could wait until our girls are a little older and still explore that.



Blah, blah, blah! Thanks for talking about this. I am a bundle of contradictions...

I know what you mean, Jennifer. I am sooooooo thankful for twins, even though I often complain about the fighting to my friends with one child. I complain because in the back of my mind I always wanted to experience one child at a time. But that is not how it is for me. Which is OK. Multiples are not that common for a reason--it's tough work!!! You should buy this book for your girls for Christmas: Two Peas in a Pod. Look it up on Amazon.com. It's the cutest book about twins I've seen!!!



People with one child just do not understand how hard it is to raise toddler twins. The fighting, the competition, the lack of time you have to spend with each ALONE (which is good for them now and then). I also shake my head and wonder how moms and dads with triplets or more do it!



That's too bad that this pregnancy hasn't been easier for you. However, you don't have the worries that you had last time, which must be a welcomed thing. I remember your description of how it was with the TTS (for those of you who don't know, that's twin to twin transfusion, a potentially fatal and frightening condition with identicals that share a placenta). I didn't have TTS to contend with, just almost bleeding to death. And with a hemmoglobin of 51 after their birth and another hemmhorage 4 weeks later, I just don't think I could do it again... even if I were younger!



All that said, I'm someone who often sees and feels things in very mixed ways. So, while I don't want to have another one now, I'm greiving the fact that there will not be another little one in our family. I'm giving serious thought to adoption, actually. I know my husband thinks adoption is an option, but he would perfer us to have our "own" (whatever that means). Personally, if a child is ours to raise, love, and nuture, it's "our own" no matter who gave birth to it. And for that, I don't have to worry about time. We could wait until our girls are a little older and still explore that.



Blah, blah, blah! Thanks for talking about this. I am a bundle of contradictions...

Well, I know what you mean, Janet, believe it or not. As much as I complain when I am overwhelmed, I truly enjoy my children and there IS a grieving process. This week Thomas and I talked about it and decided that this is probably it...and as much as I know in my head that this is a rational, wise decision, my heart aches about it. I find myself wondering "what if" and imagining what life would be like with another...perish the thought ! But seriously, I am so conflicted about this that it is ridiculous. I am so appreciative that you shared your thoughts, and also to Jennifer for her response to me. I really thought I was kind of alone in feeling like this and you both helped me a lot!



I can't imagine what a twin pregnancy would be like. The closest I can come is that I was pregnant with Finny when Andrew was just 6 months old...I felt like I was pregnant for years on end..and sort of was...He was just 15 months old when she was born and so I did have two very small children then at the same time...double diapers, inability to pay attention to just one child...it was hard. I can't imagine doing it from early on. I think having children close together like I did is challenging in itself, but surely nothing compared to twins or triplets....yipes! I knew a med spouse during residency that had two children. She and her dh were almost finished with residency and decided to have baby #3...and she became pregnant with identical triplet boys!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I met her when the boys were almost a year old, and she was just a shell of a mommy! Yipes...Well, enough of my ramble....



My hats off to you moms of twins...and Janet, I don't think 40 is old. There are some increased risks..but I have a friend in Germany who started her family at 40....I think Jennifer is right that singleton pregnancies are different....why not wait a year and reevaluate how you feel?



Kris

Well, I know what you mean, Janet, believe it or not. As much as I complain when I am overwhelmed, I truly enjoy my children and there IS a grieving process. This week Thomas and I talked about it and decided that this is probably it...and as much as I know in my head that this is a rational, wise decision, my heart aches about it. I find myself wondering "what if" and imagining what life would be like with another...perish the thought ! But seriously, I am so conflicted about this that it is ridiculous. I am so appreciative that you shared your thoughts, and also to Jennifer for her response to me. I really thought I was kind of alone in feeling like this and you both helped me a lot!



I can't imagine what a twin pregnancy would be like. The closest I can come is that I was pregnant with Finny when Andrew was just 6 months old...I felt like I was pregnant for years on end..and sort of was...He was just 15 months old when she was born and so I did have two very small children then at the same time...double diapers, inability to pay attention to just one child...it was hard. I can't imagine doing it from early on. I think having children close together like I did is challenging in itself, but surely nothing compared to twins or triplets....yipes! I knew a med spouse during residency that had two children. She and her dh were almost finished with residency and decided to have baby #3...and she became pregnant with identical triplet boys!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I met her when the boys were almost a year old, and she was just a shell of a mommy! Yipes...Well, enough of my ramble....



My hats off to you moms of twins...and Janet, I don't think 40 is old. There are some increased risks..but I have a friend in Germany who started her family at 40....I think Jennifer is right that singleton pregnancies are different....why not wait a year and reevaluate how you feel?



Kris

Well, I know what you mean, Janet, believe it or not. As much as I complain when I am overwhelmed, I truly enjoy my children and there IS a grieving process. This week Thomas and I talked about it and decided that this is probably it...and as much as I know in my head that this is a rational, wise decision, my heart aches about it. I find myself wondering "what if" and imagining what life would be like with another...perish the thought ! But seriously, I am so conflicted about this that it is ridiculous. I am so appreciative that you shared your thoughts, and also to Jennifer for her response to me. I really thought I was kind of alone in feeling like this and you both helped me a lot!



I can't imagine what a twin pregnancy would be like. The closest I can come is that I was pregnant with Finny when Andrew was just 6 months old...I felt like I was pregnant for years on end..and sort of was...He was just 15 months old when she was born and so I did have two very small children then at the same time...double diapers, inability to pay attention to just one child...it was hard. I can't imagine doing it from early on. I think having children close together like I did is challenging in itself, but surely nothing compared to twins or triplets....yipes! I knew a med spouse during residency that had two children. She and her dh were almost finished with residency and decided to have baby #3...and she became pregnant with identical triplet boys!!!!AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! I met her when the boys were almost a year old, and she was just a shell of a mommy! Yipes...Well, enough of my ramble....



My hats off to you moms of twins...and Janet, I don't think 40 is old. There are some increased risks..but I have a friend in Germany who started her family at 40....I think Jennifer is right that singleton pregnancies are different....why not wait a year and reevaluate how you feel?



Kris

Is everything ok, Jennifer?



Kris

Is everything ok, Jennifer?



Kris

Is everything ok, Jennifer?



Kris