I can't decide if the best thing for me is to read all of the news- the Army Times, military.com, CNN, MSNBC, and the Washington Post- all of which I surf all day long...
OR if I should ignore it.
Reading it makes me have a near anxiety attack just about every morning. (loved todays news about yet another helicopter shot down) But not reading it makes me feel slightly less in control. (knowledge being power and all that)
All I know is that my stomach isn't going to be the same until April 1, 2008 which is the day that my husband is supposed to leave Iraq. (or April 2, I suppose)
Of course it doesn't help that quite a bit of the material that he brought home from the ACS (Army Community Service) talks about PTSD and has horrific stories of husbands attempting to strangle their wives while asleep. Great.
This sucks.
I'm going to need that damned treadmill ASAP. I filed the federal taxes last night and the moment the refund hits the checking account I will be at Fitness in Motion to order the treadmill.
The only way I can describe it is it's similar to the emotional rollercoaster of getting divorced with the notable exception of the fact that I'd like to keep this husband and more importantly, I'd like to keep him alive and healthy. The dread, anxiety, sleepless nights and general angst remain the same though. oh, and the panic attacks. They're tons of fun, too. I've been really enjoying waking up feeling like I can't breathe.
Have I mentioned how much this sucks? and in my truly darker moments I'm not even being remotely supportive of my other friends who are AF. They deploy for at most 6 months. My thoughts these days is BFD. This is definitely not a defining moment of glorious altruism for me. I am most definitely NOT embracing the world.
My husband fully admits that he's excited about going and is looking forward to getting there and doing his job. "It's always harder on the people at home."
No Shit.
Oh well. It's noon and now I must go eat something. Generally, I eat based on what time it is because I certainly have no appetite these days. That said, I also don't need to make myself sick because I have to take care of Nikolai, too.
and the kicker of the day is that he called to tell me when we have to go to the JAG to do the wills and discuss what kind of funeral he would want...
OR if I should ignore it.
Reading it makes me have a near anxiety attack just about every morning. (loved todays news about yet another helicopter shot down) But not reading it makes me feel slightly less in control. (knowledge being power and all that)
All I know is that my stomach isn't going to be the same until April 1, 2008 which is the day that my husband is supposed to leave Iraq. (or April 2, I suppose)
Of course it doesn't help that quite a bit of the material that he brought home from the ACS (Army Community Service) talks about PTSD and has horrific stories of husbands attempting to strangle their wives while asleep. Great.
This sucks.
I'm going to need that damned treadmill ASAP. I filed the federal taxes last night and the moment the refund hits the checking account I will be at Fitness in Motion to order the treadmill.
The only way I can describe it is it's similar to the emotional rollercoaster of getting divorced with the notable exception of the fact that I'd like to keep this husband and more importantly, I'd like to keep him alive and healthy. The dread, anxiety, sleepless nights and general angst remain the same though. oh, and the panic attacks. They're tons of fun, too. I've been really enjoying waking up feeling like I can't breathe.
Have I mentioned how much this sucks? and in my truly darker moments I'm not even being remotely supportive of my other friends who are AF. They deploy for at most 6 months. My thoughts these days is BFD. This is definitely not a defining moment of glorious altruism for me. I am most definitely NOT embracing the world.
My husband fully admits that he's excited about going and is looking forward to getting there and doing his job. "It's always harder on the people at home."
No Shit.
Oh well. It's noon and now I must go eat something. Generally, I eat based on what time it is because I certainly have no appetite these days. That said, I also don't need to make myself sick because I have to take care of Nikolai, too.
and the kicker of the day is that he called to tell me when we have to go to the JAG to do the wills and discuss what kind of funeral he would want...
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