what effect did pregnancy and childbirth have on you?

[PrincessFiona]

And now we have just seen a glimpse of the mommy debate that raged on earlier here and sent a few moms2b fleeing. There has been this ongoing behind-the-scenes struggle here between the parents and those that would like to be or will soon be parents.

But let's face it....don't we, as parents, deserve to feel like the experts on parenting if we have to go through those kinds of physical changes to become mothers? Or if we've adopted and gone through all of the red tape, traveled to foreign countries and spent our savings? Suffered through fertility treatments, disappointments and finally been successful? And if the not-yet-moms are shocked by the physical changes...might there be some other parenting issues that are a surprise. I guess it's why when there is the " hey, I'm not a mom, but don't tell me I don't know ....." that many moms kind of just :guilty:

Who knew that this topic would end up needing to be in the debate forum...

In regards to the physical changes...just to frighten y'all more. I know the other multi-para women have my back on this but....apparently, I have no more pelvic floor...and whomever came up with those kegel exercises must have been...a man. (no offense to the men here of course). Everytime I sneeze...I pretty much pee my pants.

lovely!

Heidi....many, many of us are unhappy with the shapes that our bodies have taken. I berate myself many days about how my body has changed...I don't feel attractive and I feel heavy and older than I am. My jonts creak, my feet hurt....

I had always been extremely weight conscious. Before getting pg with Andrew, I rode my bike everywhere (refusing to drive anything that polluted the earth :> ) and...I was a vegetarian. The physical changes that happened to me during pregnancy were shocking to me and I felt like I lost control of my body....I did.

Weight loss had also never really been an issue for me. If I gained 5 or 10 pounds when I was younger, I could easily lose it in...a weekend or a few days of hard dieting/exercise. That is no longer the case. It's one thing to face having 5 pounds to lose...and an entirely other ballgame to face losing 60, 70 or 80 pounds. The motivation, the deprivation....I don't know about you, but my metabolism has changed. I'm not as active because I'm at home with little ones. I drive everywhere in the van because the towns here aren't set up for biking and things are so spread out. I thought my weight gain would be temporary and was shocked when it all didn't fall off after having Andrew....with each pregnancy I gained more than I had hoped and lost only a fraction of it.

I'm really trying now to become healthy again...but come one...the real truth..I just want to look like Jennifer Aniston....



kris

[rainbabies]

it took dh and i two years to get and stay preggers with number one. we were cautiously excited until we got to the crucial 12 week mark. after that, we told some people...mostly family. i ate like a pig, gained 50 lbs and loved every minute of being pregnant. LOVED IT. i loved the growing belly, the feeling of the babe moving, the ultrasounds, the clothing i got to buy, setting up for the baby...everything. i went in for induction on feb 12. after 12 hours of no progression with PIT, and a pelvis with some spiny thing that prevented ds from coming down i had a section. the recovery was okay, not too tramatic...breast feeding didnt work for us, so i pumped and all was well.

i got preggers for dd#1 when ds was 3 months old. we were shocked to say the least. we figured because it was so difficullt to get preggers the first time, we didnt have to worry about it the second time. well, 12 months and two weeks later i had dd. i got preggers for her right after dh started med school in the caribbean. when i was 9 months i flew to boston with ds...11 months, the dog and loads of suitcases. my mother picked us up in boston, and drove us home to vermont. i gained 12 lbs with that pregnacy. living in the caribbean didnt allow me to indulge my every want with food...and we walked EVERYWHERE. (which got to be difficult with sciatic pain, the heat, swelling, and my huge as a house body ) i looked great for that pregnancy....sprung back well too! dh came home three days before the c-section for dd. i stayed in the hospital for three days, came back to the place i was staying and two days later drove dh to the airport to go back to the caribbean. then, it was me...a fresh one year old, a newborn with gas, 0 degree weather and a post partum freshly c-sctioned mom, and pumping again. TOTALLY overwhelmed. after my six week check up, the kids and i flew back to the caribbean.

dd#2 was born 16 months after dd#1. i got preggers in miami, while we were there for dh's 5th semester of school. we lived there for 4 months. when i was 3 months preggers we packed up the family, the dog and the uhaul and drove to baltimore. i was one sick chick. i gained about 30lbs with dd#2. not too bad, i guess. we had medicaid in vermont, so when i was 8.5 months preggers...dh drove us all to vermont, put us up in a suite at a hotel and flew back to baltimore. he finished up a rotation, came up to Vt. for the section, three days at the hospital, i came back to the hotel. i felt pretty good, but as usual over did it and my incision and the post op recovery became a nightmare. we took dd#2 to see the ped, and left the next day to return to baltimore. i could hardly walk, my abdomen felt like it was on fire. i was on antibiotics, pain killers, motrin....i was in misery. dh had to pack my incision which opened up and obvioulsy was infected. just when it started to feel okay, i would cough, sneeze, or over do something again. it took a good 6-8 months before i felt good again.

i dont think i would recommend having three babies in less than 2.5 years. lesson learned.

my body, of course has changed. all the pumping i did, did not do my girls any good...thats for sure. i have killer stretch marks, i have a mommy belly, and i have not been able to get back to where i was pre kids...of course i havent really given alot of effort or time to it...not a priority to me right now, i guess.

all and all...i had great pregnancies and LOVED almost all of it.

[spotty_dog]

[quote=Tabula Rasa]

still getting used to the fact that my tummy and breasts will never be the same again, but my sweet son was worth it.

No sugar coating here but I have probably had a much more positive experience with my post-baby(ies) body:[/quote:b0b46]

Well, I'm only five months postpartum so maybe I'm wrong. I've been meaning to ask you about your experiences because I know that you are very confident about your ability to regain your original size and shape post-pregnancy!

I turned out not to be a big gainer -- I gained pretty much baby weight and nothing more. By 4-6 weeks or so my weight was back at my prepreg level, which was my standard "living an active lifestyle but not conscientiously working out or eating terribly well" level. I'm fitting in all my clothes, no problem, and I look and feel myself. Except for the Angry Starfish.

My tummy sags a bit, I think there might be a bit of a fat pad under there, and the skin has the crepe paper texture you described. The skin above my bellybutton sags down over it, making my bellybutton look like the mouth of an angry starfish, according to DH. If I suck in you can still see a bit of a divide above my bellybutton where I separated my stomach muscles -- I think I've closed that gap in the muscle with exercises, but it's like some of the skin layers didn't get the message. :P

As for the breasts, I didn't get any stretch marks. But, they did grow and change and even if they shrink again when I'm no longer nursing they won't be the same. I am self conscious about that one because of Family Guy -- where drunk Brian compliments a woman at the bar with "Those are some great breasts! They don't have that blue vein on the top like some of the big ones get!" Yeah...I have that blue vein.

Anyway, I may never wear a two-piece again (not that I ever really had the guts to wear a two-piece in the first place!) but I really do look and feel myself and a few little cosmetic changes are completely overwhelmed by the fact that I have this incredible little guy in my life.

And now I'm reading down to the controversy that seems to have raged and am hesitating about pushing the post button...but you can't be an old-timer without posts, right?

[Meenah]

I am sooooo happy to have been blessed with children. My body isn't perfect and I love it. I have seen my sister survive breast cancer and it makes me even more thankful for the body I have. It isn't perfect but it is mine. I have also had the privelidge of being a nurse, and I have seen every body imaginable, in every state of wellness and disease. We should all be thankful we are healthy enough to even be having this debate.

Now I'm done preaching, off to wreak havoc somewhere. :happyrain:

Hi - new to the site, this'll be my first reply. Ah, yes, the effects of pregnancy.

If you're talking only about the physical body, I was back to pre-preg size in 6 mo w my first without trying (had gained 30lbs). With my second I gained the same but never lost it, so I felt awful, looked plump, bloated, you name it. The body image thing was huge for me prior to pregnancy and birth, but OMG how unimportant the physical became due to the effects of preg *emotionally*. Perspective is a precious thing, and I learned at great cost how little my physical appearance mattered...

I don't want to scare anyone, bc my case/situation was very rare, but I had severe PPD with speckles of psychosis (hospitalized) and have returned to full 'normal' functioning just this past year (that's five years of depression hell).

The passage of time has taught me much - yes I want to look good, but for me, taking care of my *insides* (mind) is sooooo much more important!

After my pregnancy with Ds I thought I would never ever go through another! Until I met DF and knew how important it was to him so I said hopefully when I reach 30 I should have gotten over it and we would be more settled and I'd go again, well nature intervened there obviously because at 26 number 2 is on her way!

my pregnancy with DS: emergency surgery at 5 week, hyperemesis simular to the way Heidi explains, I had to stay in hospital until 22 weeks, had to have TPN, steroids, iv vitimins, iv fluids, 5 antiemetics around the clock, other meds to protect my stomach lining, 16kg weight lose in first 12 weeks, bleeding on and off, steroid induced diabetes, premature rupture of membranes, facial palsey(during labor, lasted 6 weeks), know known case found, probably trauma from a bad sinusitus prior to birth. pre and post partum depression. Good news was I fitted straight back into my pre pregnancy trousers before leaving the hospital due to the weight loss during pregnancy! a weeks later they were too big!

As you can imagine, finding out about this pregnancy all I could picture was the living nightmare of the last. DF was great in organising all the antiemetics early on and thankfully totally weaned off them t 16 weeks, this pregnancy is a total dream compared to last one, just hope it continues to be and that the protein in my urine clears and the ankle swelling continue to reduce with rest.

After the initial shock of this pregnancy (for both DF and I) i just had to get on with it and just hope it wasn;t going to be as bad as the last time. I'm so so thankful it hasn't even come close and that after all the meds I was on that DS is in perfect health.