Babywise

[ladymoreta]

I was just wondering if anyone here has tried Babywise? The residents DH works with have nothing but great things to say about it. But I've also heard that it's controversial. I could really use some more information about it from parents who have actually read and done it. Thanks!

[SuzySunshine]

I looked into it with Robert's issues but just couldn't get into it, it just didn't seem natural to me.

[mommax3]

Re: Babywise

I read the books way back when my oldest was a baby and what I read didn't jive with what I was learning about breastfeeding. It just didn't "fit" for us. I have known lots of people who used it and were happy, and of course I have heard the negatives as well. I always took the cafeteria approach with parenting books and used a little of everything if it made sense! The book that made the biggest impression on me was "Bringing Up Boys" by Dobson, mostly because of the explanation of the developmental differences between girls and boys, which fascinated me.

[ladymoreta]

Thank you for the responses. I've read the book. Could you give specifics about what you disagree with? Did you follow a schedule, even if it wasn't Babywise's suggested schedule? DS still has his days and nights mixed up, so I've been waking him to eat at least every three hours. (And letting him sleep up to five hours at a time once per night if he will.) This is what they told me at the hospital, but it seems a lot like what Babywise suggests.

I've heard of "Bringing Up Boys". I'll have to read that!

[ladymoreta]

He's 18 days old. I haven't actually started Babywise. I just wanted more information, since I've read that it can cause problems, but also that so many resident families here have had great experiences with it. But I did notice that the 2.5 - 3 hour eating schedule matched what my pediatrician and the hospital told me. (With the obvious instructions to feed him sooner if he seems hungry.)

ETA - he eats very slowly, so he's often fallen asleep less than an hour before his next feeding. So I usually end up needing to wake him for feedings. For those times, since I'm not getting any hunger cues, but I was told not to go longer than 3 hours between feedings, would you recommend waking him after 3 hours from the start of the last feeding, or should I be waking him earlier?

[HouseofWool]

Laurie - are you nursing? I can't remember... if you are, do you feel like your supply is fairly well established?

[Pollyanna]

I think Babywise is too black and white. Sure, it's lovely to present this picture of a scheduled baby where you can predict what your days/nights will be like, etc. In real life babies are just not that way. Every one is different with different needs. Babywise seems to almost force you to go against your motherly instincts in an effort to get the baby on some arbitrary schedule. I have always found that listening to baby and listing to my own gut works better than any of the books out there. Of books I like, anything in the Sears family of parenting books I have always found comforting and supportive.

ETA: at 18 days old I wouldn't worry about anything except feeding, changing, and getting some rest when you can

[Urowife]

Best advice I got was to follow my baby's cues - if she seemed hungry, I fed her. But since your baby is still so young and sleepy, it's best to wake him every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours overnight, aiming for at least 8-12 feedings total in a 24 hr period. This is best for establishing milk supply if you are nursing.

The babywise schedule can be detrimental to babies and the nursing relationship if you strictly follow the schedule and avoid feeding the baby because "it's not time yet" even though they seem hungry. Babywise also advocates dropping feedings by stretching out the time between feedings as the baby gets older, which can again be dangerous to nursing since you rely on supply and demand to keep up the milk.

[MrsK]

BabyK had his days and nights mixed up big time. He used to open his eyes at around 10 or 11 pm and scream non-stop until 2 or 3 AM. There was NO SLEEP and I would literally wait till the sun came up so I could get some rest. That said, he has slept through the night with few exceptions since he was 6 weeks old. Here's what we did.

During the day, I woke him every 2 hours (even hours worked for me) to feed him. Sometimes I'd bathe him or something too even if he literally slept through the bath. I kept the house noisy and bright during the day. We also went out a lot during the day. This sucked for me because I was up all day and all night for a couple weeks there. Once he started gaining weight, the peditrician recommended -- much to the LC's dismay -- that I nurse 15-20 minutes per breast at each feeding to force BabyK to "get down to business" at feedings. (He'd stay on one breast all day if I let him. He's a big comfort nurser. Breast man all the way. We still struggle with this.)

At night, we kept the house quiet, lights low. Around 7:30, I'd change him into a t-shirt that he only wears at bedtime (we bought a 5-pack) and swaddle him in a blanket. I'd nurse for extra long - about an hour, and put him to bed. We tried various places to put him down. The carseat on the floor worked best. Important to put it on the floor because you cannot strap him in if he is swaddled. I was amazed when he started sleeping 5, then 6, then 8 hours at night. Now we are transitioning to the crib. The rest of the bedtime routine is the same. He wakes up around 2 and settles himself back to sleep. Then wakes again around 4:30.

It was 6 weeks of misery but he's now really easy at night.

[ladymoreta]

Great advice! Please keep it coming! Yes, I am nursing, and it seems to be going well (with the exception that he wouldn't latch without a nipple shield, but I'm not ready for that fight yet). He usually eats for an hour or more, so I think this has helped my supply. I can usually pump a little after a feeding, and he pulls off himself or falls asleep and doesn't eat anymore when I wake him.

He's making a lot of progress with the day/night. He slept well between all but one feeding window, and even that one he slept a little.

So I guess we'll keep doing what we're doing. I may try to fit in a couple extra feedings just in case... Maybe that will make them faster?

I think my main issue with Babywise (since we hadn't gotten to the point where I would start dropping feedings) is the "cry periods". (They seem a lot like CIO, and he's so little for something like that.) DS doesn't cry much at all, and I can't imagine letting him scream himself to sleep instead of holding him until he's sleepy enough to put down and have him sleep. Or is that a bad habit I shouldn't let him get started? The residents DH has talked to say they did it - let them cry for 15 minutes, and if they're still crying, they would place a hand on their stomachs to calm them, and not to pick them up. Ugh, I'm just not sure I can do that right now!

[Phoebe]

I read Babywise on recommendation of a medical spouse after my first baby was born. I didn't adhere to the principles, but took away the main idea of a schedule and my girls basically fed every couple hours like the peds say when they were newborn and it gradually spread out when they got older. However, I did not wake them up to nurse at night. None of mine kids had a weight problem. Also, if it seemed like they needed to eat in-between the basic schedule, they nursed. My kids slept through the night at 4, 7 and 8 months. We didn't do the cry-it-out thing. Another book that helped me was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby (?) or something like that.

[HouseofWool]

Laurie - my gut says that he is toooooooo little for CIO. Heck - Sophie is 14 mo and I still struggle with CIO for her.

That said - if his weight is good, I am not a huge fan of waking babies up to nurse at night. If he is having enought wet diapers (don't worry about stool because it varies tremendously for bf babies - my niece would poo once every 10-14 days!) go with your gut. Eventually he will work out his own schedule and there is very little you can do to influence it.

[Pollyanna]

I think my main issue with Babywise (since we hadn't gotten to the point where I would start dropping feedings) is the "cry periods". (They seem a lot like CIO, and he's so little for something like that.) DS doesn't cry much at all, and I can't imagine letting him scream himself to sleep instead of holding him until he's sleepy enough to put down and have him sleep. Or is that a bad habit I shouldn't let him get started? The residents DH has talked to say they did it - let them cry for 15 minutes, and if they're still crying, they would place a hand on their stomachs to calm them, and not to pick them up. Ugh, I'm just not sure I can do that right now!

At what age did they start this? CIO is something you can try around 6 months, any earlier is just too early, IMHO.

[ladymoreta]

They are telling him he should be doing it now. I think they started around 1-2 weeks.

I appreciate all the input. I like the idea of just taking cues from DS for now. I guess we're already loosely following a schedule, but I don't want to force too much on him yet. I needed some reassurance since all we were hearing seemed like we've been too "soft" on the going to sleep thing. And I will definitely be paying attention if he starts showing signs of needing to eat more often. I've read that a lot of babies have a growth spurt coming around 3 weeks, so I'll be watching for that.

[SuzySunshine]

At what age did they start this? CIO is something you can try around 6 months, any earlier is just too early, IMHO.

This exactly - Robert is 5 months tomorrow and his sleep (or lack thereof) is killing me but most of the books (and my ped) say 6 months is the earliest for CIO.