Pediatric Neurology visit.

[moonlight]

We had a horrible and unexpected experience at the pediatric neurologist last Friday. Our pedi was concerned about DD not rolling over (or grabbing her feet) and her overall poor muscle tone… and our slow progress at physical therapy. She referred us to Neurology just to make sure… I honestly thought they would say all was well and keep with PT until she can catch up. No.

First of all the doctor had the personality of a door knob. No big deal. But when she starts using the words “checking for Cerebral Palsy, Lets schedule a MRI, and lets send her to Duke for a helmet (for her flat head)” I started to freak out. I asked her ‘why’ three times and she said because of poor reflexes her in ankles and knees. I could tell she wasn’t telling me everything but I didn’t know what else to say other than to keep asking her “why are you suggesting this?”

Then they tried to get blood work. The nurse seemed clueless and clearly didn’t know what she was doing. One thing for sure- she was putting my child in a lot of pain. I asked her to stop and the bitchy attitude came out (hers, not mine).

The whole experience was awful.

DH was not able to go with me, but did call the doctor and spoke with her. Come to find out there was lots she wasn’t telling me. She basically isn’t terribly worried, but she does want to rule out these other problems that could be causing her to have “low tone.” I wish she would have phrased it that way when I was with her.

Something told me to not go to that appointment alone, but DH is beyond over worked. There was no way in the world he could have left the hospital even for 30 minutes last Friday. I didn’t want to reschedule the appointment that took nearly a month to get. <sigh>

[SuzySunshine]

I'm so sorry you had to go to that on your own. Big big hugs!

[Michele]

Re: Pediatric Neurology visit.

That sucks. I'm also sorry you had to go through that alone.


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[scrub-jay]

((hugs)) I am so sorry.

[L.Jane]

Sorry this is happening.

[MrsK]

I'm so sorry. That sounds like a very nerve-wracking experience. Hope all is well for your little girl.

[GrayMatterWife]

Oh, my gosh. I would have felt completely helpless at the appointment, and probably fallen apart afterward. How awful.

First, I hope your DD is just fine and this is all just erring on the side of caution.

Second, FWIW, I would recommend the book "How Doctors Think" to you. I read this a couple of years ago, and it revolutionized the way I interact with physicians I go to for personal care and the care of my kids. And, it also helped a great deal in relating to DH and understanding how he approaches problem identification and resolution. (For any other lawyer-spouses, the book really is SUPER helpful. Turns out, I didn't realize: docs approach problems in the exact opposite way that lawyers are trained to do. They spend their lives trying to come to the one, right, scientifically precise answer; lawyers try to create multiple, alternate "right" answers. Once I understood this, it really helped me understand DH better, and helped me to frame what I need from him, in problem-solving. We weren't "talking past each other" as much). Anyhow, the most important thing the book taught me to do is ask the doctor: "OK, please tell me--what is the best possible thing this could be, what is the worst possible thing this could be, and what--statistically--is this most likely going to be? And please be honest and straightforward with me." For some reason, doctors like to talk in these terms. I think it is because they don't feel like they are committing to a diagnosis too early or making promises they can't keep. I really wish I'd known to do this when we got a bad preliminary picture at DD#1's ultrasound. It would have made handling the month-long waiting period MUCH easier. Maybe asking the question in this way is really obvious to some, but it wasn't to me. The book was just really helpful.

[Meenah]

I'm sorry you had to experience that, and alone too.

[moonlight]

I'm on it!

I get tired of getting on here and hating on this place but... I've had a few experiences with doctors here that treat me I'm like the 'rural' population in this area. When they ask and it comes out that my husband is a doctor I get better information and at times better care. I HATE to say that, but it's happened with different doctors here. I do NOT want to be that doctor's wife that says "Well, my husband is a doctor!" But on the other hand I need to be the best advocate for my baby possible.

Once she (the doctor) paged DH and they talked, it was a totally different story. She was very clear and explained what she wanted to rule out and what the plan was. After I talked to DH I was able to calm down and think rationally. Why does it have to be that way??????

Oh, my gosh. I would have felt completely helpless at the appointment, and probably fallen apart afterward. How awful.

First, I hope your DD is just fine and this is all just erring on the side of caution.

Second, FWIW, I would recommend the book "How Doctors Think" to you. I read this a couple of years ago, and it revolutionized the way I interact with physicians I go to for personal care and the care of my kids. And, it also helped a great deal in relating to DH and understanding how he approaches problem identification and resolution. (For any other lawyer-spouses, the book really is SUPER helpful. Turns out, I didn't realize: docs approach problems in the exact opposite way that lawyers are trained to do. They spend their lives trying to come to the one, right, scientifically precise answer; lawyers try to create multiple, alternate "right" answers. Once I understood this, it really helped me understand DH better, and helped me to frame what I need from him, in problem-solving. We weren't "talking past each other" as much). Anyhow, the most important thing the book taught me to do is ask the doctor: "OK, please tell me--what is the best possible thing this could be, what is the worst possible thing this could be, and what--statistically--is this most likely going to be? And please be honest and straightforward with me." For some reason, doctors like to talk in these terms. I think it is because they don't feel like they are committing to a diagnosis too early or making promises they can't keep. I really wish I'd known to do this when we got a bad preliminary picture at DD#1's ultrasound. It would have made handling the month-long waiting period MUCH easier. Maybe asking the question in this way is really obvious to some, but it wasn't to me. The book was just really helpful.

[HouseofWool]

That just sucks. I am sorry that you had such a bad experience.

[GrayMatterWife]

When they ask and it comes out that my husband is a doctor I get better information and at times better care. I HATE to say that, but it's happened with different doctors here. I do NOT want to be that doctor's wife that says "Well, my husband is a doctor!" But on the other hand I need to be the best advocate for my baby possible.

Oh, man, I have NO shame in playing the "my husband's on house staff here..." card whenever it comes to my kids. I don't do it for me, but at the Pediatric ER, the first thing I do is mention that I am going to page my husband, followed name dropping and asking "By the way, is Dr. XXXX on call today?" (she's one of the Pedi ER attendings...who happens to be married to one of the NSG attendings).

You're right...when it comes to your kids, you are their advocate...so you gotta do it zealously and do whatever you need to do...

[SuzySunshine]

I'm with Abigail, I don't tend to do it for myself in fact sometimes I'd rather they didn't know DH was a resident. But with the kids I've used it before and I fully intend to ask for a neurosurgery page even if its not needed if either of my kids ever end up in the ER so that they know my DH is a doctor too.

[Ladybug122]

I am so sorry you are going through all this. Having an appt like that by yourself must have been terrible. Hug to you! FWIW, I would use the MD card as well when dealing with kid things. You deserve a clear picture of what is going on. This must be so stressful for you (and your DH). Prayers coming your way!

[DCJenn]

UGH- I'm sorry she was an idiot (on behalf of peds neurologists everywhere). I'm glad your husband was able to translate into normal people language.

Keep us posted.

Jenn

PS- I've been known to use the doctor card upon occasion. Rarely but when used judiciously, it's can be very effective.

[ladymoreta]

I'm so sorry your husband wasn't able to go with you, but what a relief that he was able to get some information out of her. So frustrating that it had to come to that, though.

I really hope nothing is wrong with your sweet baby girl, and the tests confirm that she's just going to do what she wants when she wants to!