Possible speech delays?

[Tenacious_D]

So DS1 is about to turn 3 in November and recently started preschool for 2 half days a week. I am starting to notice that other kids talk a lot more in sentences than he does. I am not sure if he has been comfortable around me and thus too lazy to make an effort to pull together sentences or if he is having legitimate delays in his speech. He's great at counting and his alphabet and repetition but if I ask him his name or someone else says "what's your name?" he replies "name" and smiles and walks away. He loves books and reading and we do it daily but he also watches programs on PBS and plays games on the computer and phone. The guilt is starting to hit me that maybe I did something wrong but I just don't know. I am going to ask the NP or doc when we go in for their flu shots next week. Any advice/thoughts? Just feeling sad about possibly screwing this kid up

[v-girl]

Don't feel guilty. It isn't your fault! I'm not sure about your school district, but here the school district will evaluate them for free and, if needed, provide speech therapy or preschool for ages 3 and up. Before age 3, there's Early Childhood Intervention.

K goes to speech 2X a week.

[TigerLily]

It totally isn't your fault. Just the fact that you notice or think something might be going on shows that you are a good mom.
Also, you might be surprised at how many kids his age are in speech therapy. A had it up until a few weeks ago, our neighbor had the exact same speech therapists and two of my best friends' kids get speech therapy too. And they all have amazing mamas.

[MrsK]

I was going to say what v-girl said. We have a Connecting Point/Screen for Success program through the public schools here that screens speech, motor skills, etc. I'm taking BabyK for an evaluation since one of DrK's collegues suggested that the biting problem could be due to a communication probleproblem. DrK has an auditory processing disability and those things are often inherited so we are being extra cautious. The school said that we could even screen our infant if we wanted to.
You could also ask his teacher if she thinks he's behind. Also, sometimes kids are different at school than they are at home. When I started preschool, I was a chatterbox at home but so quiet at school that my teachers thought I was deaf and mute. The teachers had me evaluated several times.

The guilt is starting to hit me that maybe I did something wrong but I just don't know. I am going to ask the NP or doc when we go in for their flu shots next week. Any advice/thoughts? Just feeling sad about possibly screwing this kid up

The last thing you've done is screw E up. He may be quiet, he may have been perfectly satisfied w/his needs being met because you understand him so well. He might just start spitting out longer sentences when he hears other kids do it. Counting and alphabet at his age are HUGE. There will probably be other parents who hear or see him do that and wonder "why isn't my kid doing that yet?". You can ask to have him evaluated, but my gut says it's not a big deal. M talks a mile a minute, but if you ask her her name or how old she is she says "No." and walks away.

He's great. You're great.

[HouseofWool]

How long has he been in pre-school? His exposure to language is a huge factor in what he will produce, but is not the only one. *I* am not the type to go around narrating my day for the benefit of my kids. It feels stupid and forced and I sure as heck don't want them doing the same thing once they can talk. (and my kids have a tendency to NEVER.STOP.TALKING. once they master it)

With speech, it is always broken down into two parts, expressive language and the cognitive portion (I can't remember what it is called). IIRC, boys tend to be much slower to produce than girls. Not sure why, but that is the tendency. So, if E is understanding but just not producing, I probably wouldn't freak out about it yet. It is worth mentioning to the PCP so that it can be monitored.

Peer pressure and the need to have his needs met while part of a larger group may be just the impetus he needs to make a jump in speech production. And the crazy part is that kids tend make HUGE leaps all at once. It is like they are just sitting on these new-found skills and then whip them out all at once just to mess with a parent's head.

[SuzySunshine]

I agree with everyone else and I would also caution on the screening that some schools offer. Make sure its done by a person with a degree AND experience. Roch offered that and I took A in right after her 3rd birthday because that is what they recommended. The screener was an older lady, a LONG time teacher, but she was very NEW to the screening and it killed me as A's mom to sit there and watch them mark A down for things that I knew she could do if she had the right person testing her. They wanted us to bring her back but since we were leaving we didn't and she is now THRIVING in her preschool here.

You have done NOTHING wrong, we all let our kids watch TV, play games, etc. its the beast of being a single SAHM 24/7. Those that say they don't, lie.

[diggitydot]

I agree with everyone else and I would also caution on the screening that some schools offer. Make sure its done by a person with a degree AND experience.

This x 1000.

Our youngest has an expressive-receptive speech disorder dx'd by a developmental pediatrician. DH and I cringed throughout the little dude's initial screening by the AZ school district we lived in at the time. People who barely graduated from high school were evaluating my kid. It was such ridiculous bullshit. The final straw for me was when one of the gals waved at DS while saying, "hi," and then marked him down as possibly autistic for hand-flapping. He was waving back at you, dumbass.

Looking back now, we should have avoided the school district and just gone straight to our doc. The district we lived in was stupid and talked to people like idiots. They sat there arguing with us that our son was "definitely autistic", even though we had just given them a detailed diagnosis from a very well respected doc who specialized in the field. They also argued that their "school psychologist" had diagnosed him, too. So I asked the "school psychologist" which DSMIV criteria she used to make the diagnosis. She looked at me like I had 6 heads and then backtracked like crazy. "Oh, um...well...I'm not *quite* qualified to make an actual 'diagnosis' like that. I'm not a licensed psychologist, that's just my title and job distinction here in the district. I only have a bachelors, but I'm still in school," Then why are you arguing with two people (our doc and my husband) who ARE qualified to make diagnoses? The meeting ended quickly after that conversation.

Avoid the school district unless you KNOW they're not idiots.

[Momo]

Diggity where did you guys live when you are I AZ? The disparity between districts is sad.

[Momo]

Diggity,where did you guys live when you were in AZ? The disparity between districts is sad.

[diggitydot]

We were in the Dysart district, NW valley.

[Tenacious_D]

Thank you guys for making me feel better and all the advice. DH doesn't think that he is behind but I guess I can't help but compare him to others his age who we interact with daily. I'll see what the ped says and determine what steps to take from there. We are in Boston so I am less encouraged by the school system vs. some neighboring suburbs. Thanks again!

[diggitydot]

If the worst case scenario is that your little one needs services of some type, the sooner they're started, the better the prognosis.

Fast-forward to 4th grade -- our dude has language therapy a couple times a week and looooves his speech/language teacher. He has flourished and has made enormous strides. He initially had a shitton of speech and language therapy (AZ school district also has completely unnecessary PT and OT in the mix, for some reason), and has since graduated to his current twice-a-week schedule.

Honestly, once he started school and was surrounded by people who didn't understand his verbal shorthand, his skills improved in leaps and bounds. He was exhausted and it wasn't exactly easy for him, but it helped immensely.

[HouseofWool]

Honestly, once he started school and was surrounded by people who didn't understand his verbal shorthand, his skills improved in leaps and bounds. He was exhausted and it wasn't exactly easy for him, but it helped immensely.

This! After Caleb's stroke, he had to work so hard to get his language skills back and it exhausted him completely. However, being with a new group of kids who didn't know him as well as well as advancing in school gave him the incentives he needed to really push through and do what needed doing.

For the record, if any interventions are needed, I would really push for a hospital based speech therapist if you can do it.

[houseelf]

Just nodding and commiserating. My little guy has an expressive speech delay (diagnosed by me and Dr. Google) and I'm going to demand a referral at the pediatrician's appointment in two weeks time. Other people are starting to pick up on it and it is bugging me. He can point to things on a page (WHEN HE WANTS TO) but doesn't say more than 15 words on a regularly basis and 30 total. He'll be two and a half at the end of the month. He gets frustrated and screams when he can't convey what he wants.

I am a little scared and concerned but I am trying to just see this for what it is, a bump in the road that we need to overcome. Parenting: Sissies need not apply.