Private School

[SuzySunshine]

I know some of you aren't religious so this won't necessarily apply to you but do you see a difference between private and parochial? The catholic schools are only about 1/2 as expensive as the private schools but of course still more expensive then the public. I think we'll just plan to send A to the catholic preschool if we can get her in because it will be easy and it is a good school from what I've read and then we'll make the decision about public versus catholic kindergarten this time next year...

And alison if we had chosen to live on the other side of the state line we'd be doing private, public wouldn't be an option. But because of that and the doctor malpractice fund we are living where the public schools are good so we'll have the choice.

[weeniegeniewife]

When I met DH his kids were in private school because that is how he was raised. I was raised in public school and that is what I wanted for DD. However, for kindy and first grade she went to the private school DH's kids went to. She and I hated it!!!! I couldn't wait to pull her out and put her in public. The private school did not support diversity in the kids, and expected them to all be the same. The moms shunned me because I had a masters degree and worked. Yes, you read that right. One time I asked a mom if her DD could have a playdate with my DD sometime and her response? "Well, you WORK, I just don't see how we have anything in common." I could not believe what I was hearing, and she was dead-serious. I told her that it wasn't about she and I, but getting our girls together to socialize. She just rolled her eyes and walked away. Total bitch.

When I put DD in public school for second grade, she had the best year ever. She is now in 4th grade, loving it and receiving an excellent education. When I pulled DD from private school DH did the same with his kids. He was as fed up with the pretentiousness as I was.

[SuzySunshine]

We are also having dinner the weekend we go house hunting with one of the other partner's and his wife, they have kids a few years older then ours. They go to the catholic school so I'm hopeful that will give me some insight as well...

[alison]

Great that the public option is a good option!

[Phoebe]

I don't know much about private preschools. Our play-based Christian preschool is $305/month for 9 to 2:30, three days a week. An academic-based private school one mile from our house is $4400 per year for 3 days a week. They have daily gymnastics, Spanish and art included in the curriculum.

[JaneDoe]

I sent my two oldest kids two private, secular preschool for two years each. It was $285 per month for three days a week. I was happy with my kids experiences there. They are now in public school and I am totally happy there despite the large class sizes. My kids are thriving. We have quite a few friends who send their kids to the elite private school in town. It's around $8,000 per year. I'm sure the education there is fantastic. The class sizes are much smaller than the public schools. However, the education my kids are receiving is fantastic too and I don't have to spend $16,000 per year to send two kids to school. My kids will go to college like most of the kids at the elite, private school so I've never found a reason to spend so much money to send my kids to the private school.

[Pollyanna]

I'm already concerned that we're going to end up in snooty-ville, sending them there would only make it worse IMO.
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Don't think "snooty-ville" is only in private schools, because trust me it is not (especially if you place yourself in the highest rated district in your community). It is interesting to see a bit of reverse snobery toward private schools from so many. All schools are different just like all children are different. I think to simply slam the door on private school as being pretentious and not as good as public school is short sighted. The most important thing about choosing a school is knowing your child and knowing what the necessary environment is for your child to succeed. For some families this may mean different schools for different kids, it may mean homeschooling through different grades, it may mean skipping grades or holding your child back. If having a religious component to your child's education is important then that will take importance over maybe the variety of activities offered at a school. I just don't think you can make a blanket statement that $XX.XX is not worth it because for some children it might be absolutely necessary.

We typically do a private preschool/public k-8/Catholic high school. For us this has worked beautifully but it is something we reevaluate on a yearly basis. When our oldest started at our neighborhood elementary it was an amazing, bring tears to your eyes school. Now, after leadership changes its just okay, I've been there for 13 years so I see the changes and see how it has effected the student body. All schools evolve and change, very few stay at the top forever. We go with a Catholic high school for the community, not really for the faith aspect because I expect them to learn their faith at home, it is not something I turn over to a school. The community aspect for our children is HUGE. Getting through high school without getting lost (in many ways) is important and not all children can handle the huge public school situations but of course some will thrive in that situation.

In the end it really just depends on your child and what you have available to you in your area. Most importantly it is important to be open to all options for each of your children.

[Ladybug]

I wouldn't recommend anyone making that kind of financial commitment to a school their first year out of training unless their kids were older they had been around the education block enough times to accurately access the worth of the school. The school will still be there the next year and the next as you get settled into the community and job. Vigorously explore your options and education philosophies when you arrive. You're lucky because you're kids are at the perfect age to do this without pressure or rush.

Obviously I fall into the minority here, but we do pay for an elite private school. We started here because we did not have feasible public school options where we bought a home. It is a signficant financial commitment, especially with four kids, and I wouldn't be able to swing it without tutition remission benefits (50%) and the extra income from my job. Even so, it's a still a signficant financial commitment (preschool is 12K and full time) so my job doesn't make the tuition inconsequential. We love this school and I'm 1000% committed to it. I think when you find the perfect fit you will know. Just don't close the door on the private school because it's "snootyville." I hate to be a wet blanket, but you're about to be crowned the queen of "snootyville" no matter how hard you hold onto your middle class upbringing and roots. People will be making the same assumptions about you, and especially your kids, because your husband is the new neurosurgeon in town. Ironically, our kids fall into the middle income range relative to their peer group in this school. I'm happier with that than them being the "richest kids in the school." Just something else to consider when you're looking at schools and neighborhoods.

[SuzySunshine]

Thanks gang that gives me a lot to think about and the snooty ville comment is more because we're moving to a very expensive neighborhood, it had nothing to do with the schools.

[peggyfromwastate]

My kids will go public unless we get stationed in Hawaii- then ill prob homeschool and do private for high school only.

I don't want to go to Hawaii bc of the education there-- but I'll adapt if that happens.

Right now I pay for preschool (140$ per month 2 days/week). Next year the prek options in the Stanford area are significantly higher- I'm budgeting around 450$ a month. For just 3 days a week. But my dd is really into it. She LOVES prek.

I like many things about public school, and I hate many things about public school. Shrug.

Good luck with this!!!

[v-girl]

Its been years since I paid. For preschool. Both my girls did Catholic preschool and elementary school until I started homeschooling. We loved their schools and teachers! The boy did the public school's ppcd preschool for his speech and we were not impressed. He learned more from Leappfrog Dvds.

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk

[MrsK]

$450+ for just a few hours weekly? Wow. This has me thinking that our day care is a bargain. They have daily lesson plans covering various areas of development (social, cognitive, emotional, physical), he's learning colors/numbers/letters, cooperative play, table manners, following instructions, and the like. He has music, reading and art every day. They have age-appropriate curriculium at each level and periodic developmental assessments. We send our kids 2x weekly and they can stay all day - up to 12 hours. (We send them 1/2 days but when I was working K1 was there all day 5x weekly.) They have programming from 6wks to kindergarten. The teacher student ratio is 3:1 in the infant class with a total of 9 babies/class. It's 7:1 in the 2-3 yo class with a limit of 14 children per class. It costs $110/wk ($55 per diem) for our infant and $92/wk ($47 per diem) for our toddler. The cost actually goes down when they start preschool at age 3. How come people are so opposed to day care?.

[SuzySunshine]

Who was paying $450/week? I must have missed that one.

I think a good daycare is valuable if you can find one and I do think more and more are doing educational because they have to to compete. But if you think about it the stuff you do at home with your kids is educational in some way too.

I also think a true daycare that will take part time kids is rare. At least it is in my experience. I tried to find one that would take R for 1 or 2 mornings a week and they wouldn't do it without paying the full time tuition because they basically lose out on the other half because people who want daycare part time are rare.

[SuzySunshine]

Given this conversation I thought this was appropriate.

http://www.drmomma.org/2011/11/what-...-old-know.html

The single biggest predictor of high academic achievement and high ACT scores is reading to children. Not flash cards, not workbooks, not fancy preschools, not blinking toys or computers, but mom or dad taking the time every day or night (or both!) to sit and read wonderful books with their child.

[alison]

I'm paying $500 for two days. 9-noon. We live in a high col city.

My brother and I attended a daycare and it was an awesome one affiliated with the university here. Daycare and preschools can be very similar in some cases. You have to get on the wait list with this particular daycare as soon as you find out you're pregnant. I called when we first moved here to see if they had any part-time openings, and I haven't heard anything in over a year.