Baby sleeping

[ladymoreta]

Hugs! Okay, I know I don't have experience with day care, so I'm probably going to get lovingly corrected but I'd say spend the rest of your maternity leave parenting her the way you like - holding her for naps or whatever. Day care is different from Mommy anyway, and she'll figure it out. They know how to transition babies to their schedule. By the time you start back, she'll be in a totally different developmental place, and her sleep may evolve on its own.

It's much easier said than done, but try not to let guilt get in the way of enjoying the little baby snuggles while you have them! Working during the day won't make you any less of an awesome Mommy, and you are doing what's best for your family, which is what's best for her.

ETA - cross posted with Michele. Okay, maybe letting them figure it out isn't the best solution...

[Michele]

It could've been my daycare. We did have other problems there too.

[SuzySunshine]

How is the daycare search going? Have you thought about a nanny? My sister lives in Houston and shares her nanny with a neighbor family who has another one about the same age and it works great for them but still gives them individual care.

[Bittersweet]

I did exactly what Ladymoreta suggested and just enjoyed snuggling my baby during my too short maternity leave. It worked out fine. He's always had a very different relationship with his caregivers than me (his food source ) and his sleep habits reflected that. But I also had a nanny so it may be different with daycare. I don't know. I'd just hate for you to spend your time with your daughter stressing anymore than necessary.

[TigerLily]

Ansley didn't fuss with her spitting up, she just went crazy in the car seat, or anything that had her at a bad angle and she would only lay on her tummy (on me) When we started her on Zantac, I was a little skeptical about giving a baby so small any type of medicine. Especially because I didn't feel 100% sure that it was reflux. Now I wish I hadn't waited so long to try it because it worked SO fast.

[civilspouse]

I also stressed about the same things on maternity leave but in the end I decided to enjoy my time at home and hold DS during naps (holding a sleeping baby is one of the sweetest things ever). I really enjoyed that time with him. We tried the pack n play when he was little but he usually slept in his carseat or chair. When I went back to work co-sleeping became our way of survival. He never took bottles very well at daycare so he nursed a lot during the night. It worked for us. Our daycare didn't start a scheduled routine until after one year, but he still never slept very well there. I think there was just too much going on and he didn't want to miss anything. When DS was really little I followed his cues for sleep and he didn't go down for the night until 8 or 9, but as he got older (probably 4 months) we worked our way to a 7:00 bedtime and that worked will for him. Babies are constantly changing and what works now may not work in a week so try not to stress and enjoy yourself.

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

You guys are probably right that I should just do what I want and she'll figure out that the daycare people are different. We already co-sleep and I'll just keep holding her for naps. I'm just anxious about getting her to sleep so I can enjoy my time with her when I do go back to working and not be a total zombie because we were trying to put her to bed for hours at a time. She has a pedi appointment next week so I'll ask about it then.

Interesting about putting her to bed earlier. I would have thought the bed time was pretty irrelevant because we let her sleep when she's tired during the day. We do try to keep her awake for the 3 hours or so before bed and if she shows signs of sleeping to put her to bed but it sounds like there's some kids that need more consistent bedtimes. I'm wary of making it too early though or neither of us would be home to put her to bed! The earliest we could possibly go would be 7 PM or so.

Tara - I'd like to stop supporting my in-laws but that would be they'd have no health insurance and might lose their house. I can't do that while I have the ability to support them, I just can't in good conscience do that. I already harbor significant annoyance at my FIL but that's a much larger story. I can't let MIL and BIL go without insurance bc FIL is a dipshit. If I can get some of our loans paid down, I can perhaps stop working in 2-3 years. It's a weird position to be in as a daughter-in-law but I am thankful that I have the ability to bring in enough to be generous to my in-laws (at least that's the attitude I try to take when I'm feeling gracious. it works like 85% of the time...).

[TulipsAndSunscreen]

How is the daycare search going? Have you thought about a nanny? My sister lives in Houston and shares her nanny with a neighbor family who has another one about the same age and it works great for them but still gives them individual care.

We are interviewing a bunch of centers when we go in 2 weeks. Once we arrive, I'll interview nannies as well but in the short-term, I'm going to do daycare. I don't feel comfortable interviewing nannies except in person. A nanny would be ideal but is obviously more expensive, etc. I'm also not sure how I feel about having a nanny when I work from home (at least right now). I feel like it seems great that I would get to see her more but could also result in disaster since she'll be ever more aware that Mommy is home but hiding out away from her.

[scrub-jay]

We almost went the nanny route, but the required nanny-taxes (and social security, liability insurance, etc) were really painful and it was far cheaper to go the daycare route.

[Lala]

I know I have mentioned this book before, but Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth really really helped me a lot. I would definitely recommend it if you haven't read it...I agree with the others that an earlier bedtime might help. Also, I know that "crying it out" is controversial, but I know for my daughter it made such a huge difference. As a result of doing that (along with sleep scheduling and some other stuff), she now gets the rest she needs, and is a much happier baby. Good luck with everything. Sleep deprivation is the worst! Your baby is very young still so hopefully a lot of this will improve with time. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

[alison]

Tulip's baby is far too young for CIO.

[Pollyanna]

TS, you are an amazing and giving woman to be willing to sacrifice so much to help your ILs.

Tulip's baby is far too young for CIO.

ABSOLUTELY!!!!

[SoonerTexan]

PS--Feel free to text me often when you go back to work. I happen to know scrub-jay can offer some great support too. It was hard for me and it sounds like you will have it a lot harder with your work demands. But it get's better! And really--get that Milk Memos book. I was a bad employee my first week back and choose to read it during my pumping breaks instead of working. Between that and texting Thirteen and Scrub-Jay, I didn't feel quite so sad and alone.

[scrub-jay]

PS--Feel free to text me often when you go back to work. I happen to know scrub-jay can offer some great support too. It was hard for me and it sounds like you will have it a lot harder with your work demands. But it get's better! And really--get that Milk Memos book. I was a bad employee my first week back and choose to read it during my pumping breaks instead of working. Between that and texting Thirteen and Scrub-Jay, I didn't feel quite so sad and alone.

Absolutely ITA. Milk Memos got me through the first week. If it would help, I can also text little check-ins and support. And ST - Do you think the smokers do "work" during their smoke breaks? Nope. I rarely worked through pumping breaks, I needed the mental escape. It was my time to provide what I could for my daughter and stressing out from work did not help my milk.

[SoonerTexan]

And ST - Do you think the smokers do "work" during their smoke breaks? Nope.

True!