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We're not sleeping...

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  • #16
    The ILs will be staying at our house when we're in NOLA. A is going to be horrible for MIL to get to sleep because MIL won't follow her routine. It will be seriously bad if H doesn't sleep. Plus, H can't be in the same room as the ILs at night.

    We are also supposed to go on a couple interviews with DH in about 3 weeks. I just don't see how.


    Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod
    Jen
    Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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    • #17
      Originally posted by Vanquisher View Post
      I know this may sound weird, but what if you switched where A and H sleep? Since A is a good sleeper, put her in your room, and put your little velociraptor down the hall? Or could A sleep on the couch? Hell, put a crib in the living room or a closet. Who cares where things are supposed to go?

      Other than that? Get help where you can. If someone can relieve you, take it.

      Also, I know residency is a shit time for Chris, but if he could just take over one or two wakings so you could get 5 hours, it would help.
      This is what I was going to suggest. Babies make a lot of noise, and that's probably disrupting your sleep too, even when she doesn't need you.

      What we did was one night a week, K would sleep on the couch with the baby monitor (or baby, as would be in your case) while I would sleep in our bed with a fan blowing. That was the only time I could regenerate. Dagny was like baby H...it was a nightmare. Our ped didn't really take it seriously until I showed her my detailed notes about feedings, wakings, diapers changes, etc. The kid woke up every 30-45 min. (I was also pg with triplets...totally wanted to walk away from everything and start over in a new country.) This shit is damn hard. Is there anyone who can help you out? Like Heidi said, get help where you can. I wish I wasn't so far away.

      I don't have any other suggestions for you because you tried everything that we did! There's a reason why sleep deprivation is a method of torture. Big hugs!!!!

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      • #18
        I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like you've already tried everything I can think of. The only other thing I'd add is to check out the Magic Merlin sleep suit when you transition out of the swaddle. We used the MM for months when DS was too big for a swaddle but not quite ready for a sleep sack and it was a Godsend.

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        • #19
          Big hugs! I wish the lack of sleep was for more fun reasons
          Married to a newly minted Pediatric Rad, momma to a sweet girl and a bunch of (mostly) cute boy monsters.



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          • #20
            Hugs. Cordelia was like that too - up every 2 hours until 8ish months. We coslept, that was the only way to stay alive. DH was an intern and I was working. She slept through the night AFTER I was pregnant with D. I spent many nights ugly crying while she side nursed for the 5th or 6th time. Instead of cosleeping in our bed, we did a mattress on the floor so I could at least doze with her, then I returned to my room after she was deeply asleep. What if you put a mattress on the floor in A's room and put A in with Chris in your room. Then, when H wakes, go in and side nurse/doze with her until she falls asleep deeply.

            Everyone says that the baby "needs to learn to self soothe". Well, C just couldn't do it until she was older and I spent a LOT of time beating myself up about that and trying different things. Turns out, I just needed to wait it out. She was just completely incapable of it. And you might be right about H conquering the world once she gets her stuff together...C has turned out SO verbal and spunky and is going on 15 years old at 23 months.

            Keep us posted. There were so many days/nights where I was at the end of my rope (M sleeps as deeply as Chris so he was no help) but it did get better!!
            Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
            Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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            • #21
              Hugs. I had bad sleepers too. It's no fun.

              One thought. Has her hearing been checked? The volume of her crying etc. may be a red flag? Maybe not ... it might be worth asking about though.

              we did the co-sleeping, which sounds like a no go for you.

              Do u have a walk-in closet in your bedroom where you can put the crib? What about a blow up mattress for you and dh and camping in the living room for a few nights?
              ~Mom of 5, married to an ID doc
              ~A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

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              • #22
                Hmmmm. The hearing thing might be worth investigating (may as well ask when I go). She has had some very noisy run-ins with her big sister (like big sister screaming in her ear). DHs pager went off today (he usually catches it when it vibrates), and she started SCREAMING. Hmmmm.

                As far as sleeping arrangements - I think we're either going to try A in our room or put H in the playroom. I'm letting DH sleep off his worst-ever call, and then we'll discuss a plan. Thanks for your support, guys.


                Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod
                Jen
                Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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                • #23
                  I hope you decide to go on the trip. Get some rest and let the IL's figure it out. It will be ok and the babies won't remember a thing. lol
                  Wife to PGY5. Mommy to baby girl born 11/2009. Cat mommy since 2002
                  "“If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there”"

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                  • #24
                    J, which room is A's? The one down the hall from you?

                    If so, what about sticking a blow up mattress on the floor in there so that after one if H's awakenings you can crash with A for a bit. If you can sleep just a bit more soundly for even an hour or 2, it can help.

                    Musical beds sucks, but it might be worth trying.

                    I assume the dog is downstairs, what about moving her crate to the living room and covering it with a blanket for warmth and you sleeping down there? Or putting A down there?
                    Kris

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                    • #25
                      I'm sorry. O was up every two hours until over 2years old. Man that sucked. Lots of hugs.
                      Wife to Hand Surgeon just out of training, mom to two lovely kittys and little boy, O, born in Sept 08.

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                      • #26
                        I wish I had good suggestions. I remember how bad that phase is.

                        Honestly, you just need a good chunk of sleep. It will change your whole outlook. I don't know the situation with the inlaws but if your DH isn't able to give you some relief, I'd find someone else to turn to. Maybe the inlaws can pull it off for you if you tell them how bad it is? A close friend? Your mom? As is clear from this thread, everyone sympathizes with this situation. And stepping in for one night or one afternoon while you nap is possible for nearly anyone.

                        You need a massive nap knowing the baby is in good hands.




                        Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
                        Angie
                        Gyn-Onc fellowship survivor - 10 years out of the training years; reluctant suburbanite
                        Mom to DS (18) and DD (15) (and many many pets)

                        "Where are we going - and what am I doing in this handbasket?"

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                        • #27
                          Btdt, DH is 14 months and still can't figure out how to self soothe. Good luck.

                          Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I337 using Tapatalk

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                          • #28
                            Experiment night - send all your sleeping baby mojo over here! Unswaddled, in her pack-n-play, CIO if needed. In observing her/really listening to her last night and today, we think it's largely habitual, partly lack of skills. It was at this same time (5.5 months) that we did CIO with Aubrey and she started sleeping in her crib. From the rave thread:


                            Wife of a PGY-4 Orthopod
                            Jen
                            Wife of a PGY-4 orthopod, momma to 2 DDs, caretaker of a retired race-dog, Hawkeye!


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                            • #29
                              Sending the mojo!!!
                              Married to a Urology Attending! (that is an understated exclamation point)
                              Mama to C (Jan 2012), D (Nov 2013), and R (April 2016). Consulting and homeschooling are my day jobs.

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                              • #30
                                Good luck! "Lack of skills" totally cracked me up, and made me think of "Napolean Dynamite." Sending all the sleepy mojo I can muster!


                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                                -Deb
                                Wife to EP, just trying to keep up with my FOUR busy kids!

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