My five year old is a jackass

[GrayMatterWife]

Your five-year-old is a jackass?

My thirty-five-year-old is a jackass.

Some things men never grow out of. My jackass doesn't hit, but he's often equally noncompliant.

I'm so sorry, DCJenn. If it's any encouragement, he'll grow out of it. Unlike my thirty-five-year-old.

FWIW, I don't employ spanking with my guy. But then, in his case, I think that would not necessarily be the deterrent that I would be hoping for... hahaha...

[MarissaNicole]

This all scares me. This is what my older one is going to be like - but she is not even 3 yet. She knows how to talk back. For example, Please clean up your toys. Her response NO YOU DO IT! My response is then to put them outside in the front yard and she will walk around grunting and making noises and just being such a brat. Every day it's a struggle not to lose it and just yell and yell.

I'm sorry but this made me laugh out loud! (I can see a little three year old pouting/grunting as she picks up her toys in the front yard) Too funny!

[GreyhoundsRUs]

Your five-year-old is a jackass?

My thirty-five-year-old is a jackass.

Some things men never grow out of. My jackass doesn't hit, but he's often equally noncompliant.

I'm so sorry, DCJenn. If it's any encouragement, he'll grow out of it. Unlike my thirty-five-year-old.

FWIW, I don't employ spanking with my guy. But then, in his case, I think that would not necessarily be the deterrent that I would be hoping for... hahaha...

I'm sorry, Jenn. Isn't it amazing how such little people can make you so crazy? It's just a phase...it's just a phase...it's just a phase. (Please remind me of this tomorrow when my kid is the one throwing the tantrum.)

Geez, I was really, really hoping it was "terrible twos, trying threes, f'ing fours, fantastic fives."

[BonBon]

Can't crate the 5 year-old...

Says who? I think that's a fine idea.

Jenn, when G was being a pisser I took Every. Single. Thing. out of his bedroom except his box spring and mattress. No bedding, no clothing, no NOTHING. (oops, double negative ) I did give him his pillow and a quilt to sleep with at night. He had to earn back his stuff over the course of several weeks with good behavior.

Sorry Dude is being a jackass. The nature of a 5 yr old. My dude thinks he knows *everything*.

[DCJenn]

Here's the update-

We had a family meeting and discussed his behavior of the last few days and MY behavior and Rick's behavior and agreed that it's been a BAD few days.

I told him that we loved him no matter what but that the way he acted had to stop. TODAY. I showed him the chore chart (from Office Max) and we listed all of the things that he does and has to do each day- everything from brushing his teeth (easy star to earn) to putting his dishes in the dishwasher (again, not a problem) to getting dressed w/ one prompt. Except he made me change it to UNO prompt. (that one may take a while).

I bought a bunch of crap today- things like pencils and erasers and markers and playdough up to some cool looking crafts from Michaels to make- Christmas ornaments and things like that. I bought three baskets in different sizes and the cheapo stuff went in the small one (daily prize) the medium sized stuff (can of playdough, box of 8 crayons) went weekly box and then there's the cool stuff for extra stars or when extra well-behaved. He amazingly bought right in to it and he got to reatoactively earn stars and I gave him a bye on the getting dressed issue from this morning- I used a different sticker so he would remember that I was the one who allowed it.

So, he did everything on the list for the rest of the day and picked out a little plastic car from the daily box and went straight to bed.

I'm drinking wine and I too will be heading to bed.

Thanks for the support- I'm sure this is a topic I will be revisiting.

Jenn

PS- it also came out that a boy in his class has been pinching him and telling him that he (the boy) wasn't going to be his (dudes) friend (apparently changes by the day) and part of the problem was that after Crunchy school, Dude has little experience w/ how to handle those situations. I asked him if he wanted to be Eric's friend and he said no. I then asked him if it made him feel bad to not want to be Eric's friend and he said yes. (because he wants to be everyone's friend) We practiced ways to respond if Eric said mean things and also gave him permission to NOT be the kids friend. He said he felt "WAY much better."

[Meenah]

Good job MaMa!!!

[scrub-jay]

Way to go Jenn! (Go enjoy the wine, you've certainly earned it). A friend of mine did a chart very similar to yours with her daughter and had great success! Although her daughter loved stickers and my friend accidently put star stickers in the prize bin...needless to say, her daughter had, um, "earned" 25+ stickers overnight on the chart, too clever! LOL

But I digress - here's to hoping that this works well and nice job getting to the underlying issue regarding his behavior.

[HouseofWool]

Great job Jenn - funny how the "friend" thing is probably a big part of his acting out. I know we went though some of the same issues when C transitioned to elementary school.

I'm glad he feels WAY much better and I hope you do too!

Tonight DH said, of the 2.5 yo, "You think you have some tricks up your sleeve and then something happens where you feel as if you have never been around children before." Yes. Welcome home, honey!

[Phoebe]

I just made it through this thread. Thanks for the update. The chart sounds like a great idea. I have started using them several times and can't seem to follow through with them and the kids end up stealing the stickers. Reading through all the responses was interesting. One that I have used with my strongwilled 6 year old is what Angie suggested. I have to take time outs. My daughter won't sit in a time out. If I put her in her room with the reversed lock, she can still unlock it. She also has a jack and jill bathroom which she can sneak out of and end up chasing her all over the house. However, if I take a timeout, it drives her nuts.

tonight dh said, of the 2.5 yo, "you think you have some tricks up your sleeve and then something happens where you feel as if you have never been around children before." yes. Welcome home, honey!

lol!

[MDPhDWife]

I too just got through this thread. Glad you were able to get to the possible root of his behavior. I'll keep my fingers crossed that the sticker/reward chart is a success.

I have to say though, having an 8 and a 5 year old, I really think this is a 5 year old thing. Mine is definitely in an antagonistic phase at the moment and I feel like I've taken away everything but her birthday and have only had minimal results.

FWIW, we also do the love and logic parenting method that was mentioned earlier in this thread.

[PrincessFiona]

Re: My five year old is a jackass

Yay Jenn. Have a drink for me too. It sounds like tonight was much better.

Oh ... And hide the baskets when you run up to get dressed! LOL

Kris


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[SoonerTexan]

after Crunchy school

What is Crunchy School?

I don't have kids and I'm pretty young myself, but I have to say, I think my mother (family and marriage therapist) would kill to have you as a client based on the discipline/parent/kid problems she says she hears about every day. Sounds like you are doing a great job