Changing Schools

[Pollyanna]

The discouraging if emails is weird to me, too. All of our kids' teachers in the 5 different districts we've lived have preferred emails over just about any other kind of communication.

I don't get that either. You could just call the diocese tomorrow and ask them to explain the policy.

[SuzySunshine]

Yesterday A says she doesn't want to go to school, she wants to stay home and that she wishes she were in the half day class rather then full day. This morning she says, there are no toys, we don't get to play anymore. I feel like I'm pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do. I don't know what to do or what I can do at this point.

[MrsK]

Perhaps you should schedule a conference with her teacher. She'll be able to give you a better picture of what is happening in the classroom. She'll have seen kids who need time and others who are having trouble and should be able to let you know where A stands, maybe work with you to ease the transition.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

[Sheherezade]

For my kids, the transition to "full day" was an adjustment no matter what age it occurred. My son went to full day K and did fine, but it took him time to have the energy to get through the day and he came home grumpy and beat for a period of time. My daughter had half day K, but went through the same adjustment when she hit first grade. Maybe she's just tired out by the whole thing. She might learn to pace herself. I'm still not a fan of the stories about the "yellow" days and other stresses, but I don't know if I'd be considering bailing to half day if it's just too much now. She'll have to adjust to full day next year too -- I think most first graders have to adjust to that even though they are a year older.

[spotty_dog]

Yesterday A says she doesn't want to go to school, she wants to stay home and that she wishes she were in the half day class rather then full day. This morning she says, there are no toys, we don't get to play anymore. I feel like I'm pushing her to do something she doesn't want to do. I don't know what to do or what I can do at this point.

I need to dig up the article I just read about this phenomenon...and how it happens to nearly EVERY kindergartener. They want to go to big-kid school! They can't wait for kindergarten! They...wait, you mean I have to go every day? For weeks? Months, even? Um...maybe I don't want this so much.

I fully expect the same from my first-grader who's going to do full time for the first time. Hang in there.

[SuzySunshine]

Oh and she got another yellow day yesterday, after two greens to finish off last week. Yesterday's said - excessive talking and not following directions. I also have found out that all 3 K classes use the green/yellow/red. She's having a playdate this afternoon with a girl from her class that was also in her class last year and one tomorrow that wasn't in her class last year so I'm hoping to chat with the moms and see how it is going for theirs - their thoughts, etc. they both have older kids at the school.

I think I will e-mail the teacher just to see what she says.

[houseelf]

Um, if there is any comfort to know that you are not alone, K just got her first infraction for talking in class and she is in fourth grade. I told my husband, "Yep, K is chatting up her neighbor, school is back in session and the universe has found its rythym again." I don't endorse her behavior, but I'm kind of "meh" about it. It might make you feel better to know that A is not alone when you talk to other parents. Sometimes teachers try to guide them into the correct behavior by pointing it out to them. Our own childhood baggage may make it seem more punitive than it actually is.

[SuzySunshine]

Oh boy! Her teacher just called ME without any contact from me. It sounds like A is CONSTANTLY talking and its totally disruptive of the class - like she narrates what she is doing, like "I'm getting my red crayon out" "I'm writing my name!" She doesn't do that here - yes she's a talker, always has been but this is a lot, even for her. The teacher did seem surprised when I said it was only her and her little brother so we didn't see issues like this at home...I did tell her that we have been working with her on interrupting, etc.

I don't know - what do I do now? How do I address this with A? Maybe she needs more outlets for communication at home? Like what? We talk at dinner every night about what we did that day, they don't really talk at breakfast. She plays quietly in the playroom and sometimes I'll hear her talking like she's a doll talking or something while she plays but usually she's quiet.

Mrs T said she thought maybe it would settle down after the first week but it hasn't and its now disruptive. I don't know what to do...

[Deebs]

Can you call her preschool teacher and find out if she did that last year? Could she be overwhelmed and using her own voice to keep herself on track? Is she trying to demonstrate to her teacher she is following directions by talking things through? It's really tough to figure out what might be going on. I sometimes remind DS to use the "voice inside his head." Did her teacher have any insights or suggestions? Did you get to discuss the stoplight method?

[HouseofWool]

Oh boy! Her teacher just called ME without any contact from me. It sounds like A is CONSTANTLY talking and its totally disruptive of the class - like she narrates what she is doing, like "I'm getting my red crayon out" "I'm writing my name!" She doesn't do that here - yes she's a talker, always has been but this is a lot, even for her. The teacher did seem surprised when I said it was only her and her little brother so we didn't see issues like this at home...I did tell her that we have been working with her on interrupting, etc.

I don't know - what do I do now? How do I address this with A? Maybe she needs more outlets for communication at home? Like what? We talk at dinner every night about what we did that day, they don't really talk at breakfast. She plays quietly in the playroom and sometimes I'll hear her talking like she's a doll talking or something while she plays but usually she's quiet.

Mrs T said she thought maybe it would settle down after the first week but it hasn't and its now disruptive. I don't know what to do...

Yikes! Honestly, A is smart. I would just be very frank and honest with her. I *know* that I will be having this conversation with S next year...

I would make it casual... "A, I was talking with Mrs. T today and she mentioned that you have been talking in class a lot. I just want to make sure you understand what the rules are for school and what both your dad and I along with Mrs T expect. Here at home, it is important to be respectful when others are talking, by not interrupting, right? So, the same thing is true at school. There are times when it is okay to talk, during lunch and recess and when Mrs T says that it is. Otherwise, the expectation is that everyone is quiet so that your friends can learn. It is hard for you to hear the teacher when other kids are talking, and it is hard your friends to hear when you are talking."

[MrsK]

What is the context? Like is she announcing that she is writing her name because she wants the teacher to know that she's following directions? Perhaps she's feeling lost in the group? Does the teacher look around and praise kids who are following directions? Being quiet? Rather than hearing "don't" all the time, A might need some positive cues to figure out how to behave and be recognized for good behavior or to be reassured that the teacher is watching her. She may be looking for the sort of attention or recognition that she gets at home and be uncertain of how to work in a group.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

[DCJenn]

I wonder if she's doing it to self-soothe? You know to remind herself that she's doing the correct things. I'm not sure there's really any way for you to correct it at home other than to talk about it (which conceptually may be over her head). My honest recommendation is that the teacher needs to reward her for being quiet instead of punishing her for talking.

J.

[MrsK]

Wow. Sounds like a whole bunch of us had the same thought on this one.

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

[MrsK]

Wow. I cross posted with everyone. Sounds like a whole bunch of us had the same thought on this one.




Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk 4 Beta

[Pollyanna]

.

Mrs T said she thought maybe it would settle down after the first week but it hasn't and its now disruptive. I don't know what to do...

Based on your teachers description I would sit A down the minute you got her home from school and tell her exactly what her teacher said and simply explain to her that it is not acceptable to disrupt the classroom and she is to stop this behavior now. You can ask her why the narration but the bottom line needs to be that it's time to stop. Let her know that you will be checking with her teacher, that you know she is an awesome girl and you know she can make this change. Check with her every day and be a united front with the teacher. She'll get the message.