Polar Express Day

[ides]

Wow. I had no idea you all felt so strongly about this subject. Oh, well.

[MrsK]

Don't want this to come of the wrong way, but those questions are inevitable. Kids are curious. They ask questions. My dad went to Hebrew school, which is ironic looking at my previous post, and lived in a Jewish neighborhood. He remembers coming home one night and dem

Of course they are! I'd just rather address his questions at home than have his teacher address them. Also, by doing this in kindergarten, she's forcing him to self-identify as different from his classmates. It is not unusual for a Christian child who is taught at home that non-believers go to Hell to repeat that to the first Jew they meet. Just about every Jewish person I know has experienced that at some point. I just don't want kindergarten to be that point.

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[rufflesanddots]

Wow. I had no idea you all felt so strongly about this subject. Oh, well.

I didn't care too much about this stuff until I became Jewish. I wasn't raised anything (mom and dad are lapsed Protestant and Catholic, respectively) but enjoyed celebrating Christmas because it meant gifts, great food, family, and time off school. I really had the benefit of not wrestling with any theological issues and not having kids to raise. But, since I am now religious and I'm getting closer to having kids I think about it a whole lot. DH and I both converted and are the only Jews in our families. I worry a lot about creating a Jewish home and imparting Jewish values on my kids when their grandparents and cousins all identify as Christian or, at the very least, celebrate Christmas exclusively. I don't want our conversion to be just one blip on the family tree.

Anyway, the idea of having to struggle with that dynamic at home and also in school makes me even more nervous. Logically I know my kids will ask questions. I know that there is a chance they will decide Judaism isn't for them and they will become something else or nothing at all, and I know I will still love them regardless. However, that doesn't make it less worrisome. I think in this instance K1s teacher asked for input, MrsK and other parents put a lot of thought into their response, and then it was dismissed with this air of "Well, you are only a few and so you don't matter." That kind of stuff happens a lot, and it can be very frustrating. Why even bother asking, you know?

[corn poffi]

Don't want this to come of the wrong way, but those questions are inevitable. Kids are curious. They ask questions. My dad remembers going to the department store where his mom worked, and asking why they didn't have "a tree like that one at home".

On the flip side, my friend's kid loves menorahs and those cheesy Hanukkah decorations. She can't go to target with her four-year-old daughter without having to explain why they don't have those in their house.

No, Hanukkah isn't as significant as Christmas, and it's annoying that they kinda sorta get grouped together because they're both in the winter. But they're grouped together EVERYWHERE. There's no avoiding that.

We sang "Away in a Manger" at an elementary school Christmas concert (yes, my public school had a Christmas concert). I sang a solo. I think I was in first grade. I'm sure a call to the school was made. But I had no idea what the song was about, and was so proud to have a solo that I bet he gave up.

Not sure where I'm going with this anymore, but it is an unfortunate situation. Send the passive aggressive cookies and prepare for some questions. There are probably some online resources on how to address the whole Santa thing with Jewish kids without getting into religion. And maybe some of the Christian kids will come home asking about menorahs. Again, it's unfortunate the school is putting you in this situation, but what's stopping some kid from asking the boys what Santa got them on the playground?

[corn poffi]

Obviously you have every right to be pissed and disappointed that this is happening in a public school. It shouldn't be. The fact that the teacher asked for opinions and then ignored them makes it even more infuriating. Just wanted to try to spin it in different direction.

[MAPPLEBUM]

I know a major part of the parenting experience is your protective instinct. My mom was so protective she home schooled me so she could control how, what and when I learned. I haven't seen the movie so I can't weigh in on that but if it's really such a big deal the simplest thing would be to keep your son home from school that day. In the very least someone else should make the cookies. Given previous discussion it would be passive aggressive to do Hanukkah theme shapes. If it's worth staying on good terms with her very nicely say you're so sorry you have too much going on to do the cookies that week. Bringing her further into how you feel about this will only cause more frustration.

[MrsK]

My objection is not so much to the movie as it is to the entire "traditions around the world" unit which is actually several classes about religious traditions. It's just not being handled well. The Polar Express day is not even instructive; its more something fun to do with the kids that could have just as easily been accomplished by showing a secular movie.

I know that lots of people are going to ask my kids what Santa will bring them and that they will be bombarded with messages about christmas all season long. I mean, my neighbor has a christmas display that can be seen from outer space. It just bothers me that the public school is going out of it's way to include christmas (or any religious tradition) in a kindergarten curriculum.

[MrsK]

uploadfromtaptalk1449239582497.jpg this is my neighbor's house.

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[Pollyanna]

Your neighbors rock!!!

[SoonerTexan]

Devils advocate: do (St) Patrick's Day and (St) Valentine's Day celebrations at school bother you? They are pretty much as widely celebrated and secularized as Christmas.

I do understand the need to be careful with religion in a public school, especially at a young age and I can imagine it is that much harder in a minority religion. But at some point I think you can be so PC and sanitize the heck out of everything to the point it doesn't resemble anything your kids will see in the real world anymore. Heck, we live in a community with a large Indian population and I had to explain to N that no, those aren't Christmas lights, they are for Diwali.

If you celebrate the importance of your religion at home he will get it and cherish it regardless of what else he hears...it may take awhile but don't worry about that.

Send the cookies. It will give your son something neat to share.

FWIW I distinctly remember the Hanukkah lesson in 1st grade and making dreidels. Not much other exposure to any Jewish culture in Oklahoma. It was cool.


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[SoonerTexan]

Polar Express Day

[ATTACH]3354[/ATTACH] this is my neighbor's house.

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Requoting to see. Darn didn't work



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[Phoebe]

Our previous school districts curriculum included the same teachings in kindergarten. It was framed as Holiday Traditions but obviously involved were centered around certain beliefs/and or religions. The whole thing coincided with a field trip to the Indy Children's museum which has fabulous holiday displays. I was impressed with how it was done and my daughter learned a lot.


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[Sheherezade]

After reading the whole thread, I'd vote for Mapplebaum's idea. If it's important for you to make a point, I'd probably respectfully tell the teacher and the head of school that your child will not attend on the days of religious instruction. Maybe that will let them know you feel strongly about it. You will probably be at this school for several years, so if this is going to be a yearly battle, I'd rather fight it in kindergarten. By "fight", I don't mean make a big stink. Just making it clear than you were sincerely concerned about this religious based plan should do the trick. Right now, they are probably waiting to see what you do next.

Now, if it just irks you, but isn't something you'll go to the mat for, I'd consider sending in the cookies. If they will be well received by the teacher, hat might make the point in a smaller and humorous way. "I'm sorry about the shapes but I don't have any Christmas cutters. I figured I'd share our holiday treats for PJ day!"

Something to consider is that I think the more religious people are, they less they think of Santa as Christian. My boss recently turned down the addition of a menorah and info from the Jewish Federation in our holiday hall because "we don't do anything religious, just Santa and Christmas trees. I don't want to get in to religious battles". I don't think it occurs to her that what we have is basically Christian. She is a very devout Catholic and honestly has no idea that her denial was probably taken badly by the people that offered. She thinks we aren't religiously endorsing anything. I'd imaging the teacher thinks the same with The Polar Express.

I'm sorry she wasn't better about this; maybe next year's teacher will be more creative.


Angie

[MrsK]

While opting out is always an option it's a poor choice. The religious discussion including a discussion on Judaism will happen either way. Opting out just means your point of view isn't heard. It would be like a minority race opting out of a discussion on race relations. It results in the minority position remaining unheard and allows for the status quo of "the majority doesn't object".

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[Sheherezade]

I guess I'm thinking the long game. You are on year one, child one of a twelve year school experience for three children. If you are going to stay in the same school system, you are just establishing your relationship with the administration. Are you going to be "that mom", a pushover, or somewhere in the middle? Tread carefully and think ahead. I actually have no idea what the best move is because it depends on the other players in this. I just want you to see the long game here. I know people that blew their reputation for a decade when their kid was in second grade. I know others that didn't learn how to advocate well until their child,was a freshman in high school.

This is a new role for you as a mother and I'm sure you will excel at it. Just tread carefully. This seems to me to be one of the first tests that will establish how you will be treated as a family for the next decade.

If you plan on moving out of the district in the next few years, disregard all this. It's an entirely different story if this is a 1-3 year school experience for your family.



Angie