Sexualization of females in media & impact on our girls

I too was totally isolated from the "real world" and went to private small Christian schools until high school. I was SOO overwhelmed when I entered as a freshman. I heard things coming from peoples mouths I had never heard before, and it took me a good year to figure out what 1/2 of it meant. I was banned from non-Christian music until 17, and pretty much kept under lock and key. BUT, I now see my dad was trying his darndest to keep me from the overwhelming influence of society, and did his best. I personally don't want to do many of these things to my kid (oh except the keeping under lock and key ) . The truth is I knew stronger Christians in the public school than in the private, because 1.) they knew what they believed 2.) they had to fight for what they believed 3.) they learned that people who don't believe what they do are still great people to be friends with For me, I will maintain control, but with conversation too, a very hard line, and I'm sure I'll regret some of my actions when it's all said and done for. But things like music, if DS wants to listen to something, I want to read the lyrics together with him, and if they are objectionable, ask him what he thinks of them. Most kids have no clue what is being said, just like the sound. I want to educate my kids to be thinkers, not doers without mental backing. I have family who homeschools, and I respect them a LOT (boy is that hard work to be mom and teacher!!!) but I do think they are going to hit a wall someday when their oldest daughter hits 17 or 18 and is ready for college, but maybe not - maybe she will be better off who knows. That's the thing, as my dad did the best for me, I too will do the best I can for my kids, as will all the moms on here I'm sure and that = going overboard on something at some point.

Talking about sex ed, I'm very against my kids going to this class unless I see ALL curriculum that is being used. I was taught the rhythm method in high school, and knew lots of girls who made sure they didn't do the deed on the 15th day of their cycle. That probably had something to do with the 9 girls pregnant in my small highschool in just my sophmore year (that I knew of). Now that I've actually had kids, did the whole charting/basal thing to get pg, I am way way , and freaked out that I was taught this only 10 years ago!

Anyway society is to blame no matter where you go, you just have to tackle your own society and family, can't do nothing about what is going on overseas. BTW has anyone seen a Japenese newspaper? My friend's mom came back from a trip over there 5 years ago (she had foriegn students live with her from Japan each summer ), and I thought Japenese = more conservative lifestyle (as the gals I met at her house seemed so conservative) Holy cow there where breasts and all kinds of shocking pictures in their magazine, I was extremely surprised!

More fuel for the fire:

So I saw a story on the Today Show a few weeks back now Miami and NY are using new mannequin's to grab peoples attention. She is:

40" in the chest
22" in the waist and * I think*
32" in the hips

http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.htm ... page_id=34

But things like music, if DS wants to listen to something, I want to read the lyrics together with him, and if they are objectionable, ask him what he thinks of them. Most kids have no clue what is being said, just like the sound.

LOL - I totally agree w/this. I remember in 7th or 8th grade when "Mister Mister" was big (totally dating myself). I had an arguement w/my mom over the song "Kyrie". She knew that they were saying the Christian term "Kyrieleison", and I fought her -- insisting that they were saying "Kyrie a lay is on down the road that I must travel." I had no idea what the "lay" I thought they were talking about was, or what the sentence I insisted it was would mean, but I was SURE I knew the words they were singing.

I don't think totally keeping them away from the world is the answer. I think Julie made some excellent points about the Christian kids she met once she entered public high school. The stronger Christians knew what and WHY they believed what they believed. I like the way Julie phrased it -- she wants "thinkers - not doers without mental backing".

I'm already dismayed by some of the things kids see -- but I'm trying my best to use them as discussion starters and work from there. Jacob saw 3 kids at the mall the other day and said "Look! Cool kids!". I looked up and was HORRIFIED to see 3 hip-hop / gangish (as gangish as you can get in suburbia) looking kids dressed in long t-shirts, baggy jeans, sweatband, droopy coat, fake "bling". I gathered myself, and then talked with him about why he thought THAT was cool, and what really makes someone "cool".

The world is what it is, and I've chosen to bring these people into it. My task is to raise them right, and if enough of us manage that -- the world will hopefully become a better place. And even if it doesn't - they'll have the tools to deal with the crappy parts.

This past Xmas, I wandered down the toy aisle at WalMart to get my two nieces presents. I was shocked- what happened to all those woman-empowerment Barbies of just a few years ago? Remember the astronaut, doctor, vet, business woman in suit Barbies of the 90s? I thought what career is Mattel promoting, now- prostitution?

Remember the foreign Barbies in their traditional garb? Now, I guess Mattel is showcasing the fashions of South Hollywood streetwalker Barbie.

They weren't all that bad, it is just that there was so little variety like there was in the past.

[houseelf]

Great thread!

These are difficult times to parent, my friends.

For whatever it is worth, I plan to attempt to navigate these unbelievable issues with a few different tactics.

In no specific order, here are some of my tactics. No child's bedroom in our household will ever have a television or computer or phone. I plan to keep my kids involved in church youth group and similar ventures. I plan to continue talking all the time, even about the hard and embarrassing issues. (I've already had the "secret touch" talk several times with DS). We use anatomically correct names. Currently, we don't have cable tv. For DD, I plan to try to find a sport that makes her feel good about herself. As an adult, the only time that I feel confident about my body is when I'm running regularly. If Victoria's Secret and the ilk are a woman's only standards, most of us are in trouble.

Even with the best of intentions, I am sure that the hypersexualization of our society will still be an issue because it has such a strong presence in our culture.

While I will talk to my kids about abstinence, I find the "abstinence only" movement to be a little short sighted and naive. IMHO, a strict "abstinence only" position can create a shroud of secrecy and shame if the child finds him or herself choosing a different path. Kids need to know that even if they choose differently than we hope, they will still be cherished and that their parents ultimately want to continue help them make the best decisions for their lives. Sometimes I feel like this element is missing from abstinence only education which does a disservice to the underlying parental relationship.

Kelly

[SuzySunshine]

Great thread!

These are difficult times to parent, my friends.

For whatever it is worth, I plan to attempt to navigate these unbelievable issues with a few different tactics.

In no specific order, here are some of my tactics. No child's bedroom in our household will ever have a television or computer or phone. I plan to keep my kids involved in church youth group and similar ventures. I plan to continue talking all the time, even about the hard and embarrassing issues. (I've already had the "secret touch" talk several times with DS). We use anatomically correct names. Currently, we don't have cable tv. For DD, I plan to try to find a sport that makes her feel good about herself. As an adult, the only time that I feel confident about my body is when I'm running regularly. If Victoria's Secret and the ilk are a woman's only standards, most of us are in trouble.

Even with the best of intentions, I am sure that the hypersexualization of our society will still be an issue because it has such a strong presence in our culture.

While I will talk to my kids about abstinence, I find the "abstinence only" movement to be a little short sighted and naive. IMHO, a strict "abstinence only" position can create a shroud of secrecy and shame if the child finds him or herself choosing a different path. Kids need to know that even if they choose differently than we hope, they will still be cherished and that their parents ultimately want to continue help them make the best decisions for their lives. Sometimes I feel like this element is missing from abstinence only education which does a disservice to the underlying parental relationship.

Kelly

Kelly, can you come parent my kids someday?

woman-empowerment Barbies of just a few years ago? Remember the astronaut

We've only recently begun to see the damage done by the empowerment line of barbies ... with the astronaut as the case-in-point. :P

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll leave now.

woman-empowerment Barbies of just a few years ago? Remember the astronaut

We've only recently begun to see the damage done by the empowerment line of barbies ... with the astronaut as the case-in-point. :P

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll leave now.

[PrincessFiona]

That was hysterical, Kevin!!!

kris

[Momo]

Oh come on kevin!! That barbies didn't even come w/ panties let alone a diaper!!!

[Momo]

BTW even though I started the thread, i agree W/ Kelly

Great thread!

These are difficult times to parent, my friends.,

I am quite pleased w/ the exchanges and sharing of ideas/ ideals,how helpful!

...see how well this illustrates "It takes a Village" all of us sharing ultimately may/ will help some of us out!

didn't even come w/ panties let alone a diaper!!!

[Meenah]

We've only recently begun to see the damage done by the empowerment line of barbies ... with the astronaut as the case-in-point

.

OMG you are so funny. I just laughed so hard I spit coffee on my keyboard!

[Auspicious]

For DD, I plan to try to find a sport that makes her feel good about herself. As an adult, the only time that I feel confident about my body is when I'm running regularly.

I just want to say I totally agree with this and think it's an underutilized idea.

woman-empowerment Barbies of just a few years ago? Remember the astronaut

We've only recently begun to see the damage done by the empowerment line of barbies ... with the astronaut as the case-in-point. :P

Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll leave now.

I had a feeling when I wrote that, that someone was going to make a comment about the astronaut. Geez, now little girls the nation over are going to think twice about becoming an astronaut. I for one never thought about becoming an astronaut as a kid. It just seemed like such a weird job - and I never liked Tang, anyway.