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Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

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  • #91
    Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

    Davita, we will just have to agree to disagree. Your DH and brother had someone, his mom, someone had it together and the family functioned to help each other - thank God.

    But I still say that a pill would render ineffective to someone living in extreme chaos - who is a victim living in a home with no help. If the parent doesn't know their child is a victim of crime, they can't help them, and b.c. isn't helping her not be coersed into having sex again, and ruining her further. And the pill alone w/out help would probably not be used to be effective - to keep a pregnancy from happening.

    In these populations where the parents don't care, we can't even make sure the kids get to school for regular attendance. We are failing to make sure even their rights that they have right now, are implimented. Sure kids are smart, but when their "norm" is around people who don't have it together - they are going to be confused, swade in the wrong direction, and have slip ups trying to be responcible for themselves for a long time.

    My point is just about b.c. working for 11 yrs olds without adult supervision/oversight - it just wouldn't work. The point is they are children. They are children The governement doesn't even see them legally able to take care of themselves. If you give a pill to a child you are asking to much responcibility from them: to take a pill daily at the right time, to get new pills every month with no lapse in days, and to monitor their body for side affects and health issues related to the pill they are taking. It is IMO wrong to overload a child who is being abused with this kind of responcibility. The pill has adverse side affects, it is wrong to let a child alone make sure these affects are taken care of, and identify them alone.

    I will reitterate again that being on BCPs at 11 is not ideal. These kids don't have parents who would be putting their heads in the sand
    ~ my mothers family had their head so far in the sand and for so long it turned into quick sand and they were no help to themselves or their family.


    But that is my opinion, we will just have to agree to disagree. And no I haven't counceled 11 yr olds, but I don't live in a whole in the wall, and I have see a disfunctional family - several, from first hand experiance, and pray to God my children are rendered ignorant of such experiances. Listen I was in therapy at 8 for sexual issues. And my dad was clueless until then, if he not found out, I'm not sure how old I would have been before I told him, and how much further damage would have happened. So yeah, I know about how a child needs to be mentored to move on, how a child can hear and see things that an adult says, things for meant for adults, but can not contemplate them herself. To aid children with medication without parental concent takes the ability of the parent to help away. I also know that a little help would have been no help at all, but serious intervention only is what helps heal and for children to become functional adults. And often help is needed for a long time and sometimes for life, these are not easy issues. To have a child deal with such issues alone, is not help. They need help from the parents or social services needs to take over.



    I am now done with this.

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    • #92
      Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

      You know, that's very unfortunate that you endured the things that you did. But your story is not the only story and your outcome is not the only outcome. I was molested when I was six until I was 8, and raped when I was 13. And I survived and succeeded without any therapy or help. And frankly, it doesn't really matter what happened to me. You can't pigeonhold a population to not be sucessfull because of x,y, and z. There are no absolutes. You may claim that those successful cases are exceptions but there can be many more exceptions and I will fight for hope and the opportunity for those exceptions. There are kids who are survivors out there, they just need someone to open the door for them. Those other kids, they're going to fail regardless and so be it, the survivors shouldn't have to go down with them. People with too much emotional baggage are no help to themselves let alone anyone else. I have never found it ideal to simply blow a possible soultion out of the water simply because I disagree with it, especially when I have no counter solutions to bring to the table.

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      • #93
        Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

        Davita, pain is pain. We both don't want others to have it. I'm sorry for your past. We endure, we hope get strong, we try to move on. Just like for anything, there are many len's to look through, and many differant things to see. I am not going to see it personal that you think it should be dealt with in a differant way, or see the issue differant. The bottom line is we want help, and want to try to help how we can. I wanted to go into psychology/counceling for a while, but new I couldn't handle helping kids on that emotional way, it would be to much for me. I have other ways I want to contribute to society. I know you feel the same way.

        Just because someone doesn't think one way to help won't work, doesn't mean they are shutting the door, there is always a window, or a back door. But I would have been that weak one, the one who didn't know what to do. I'm glad you were strong and survived without help. But if I had been told I could take care of issues on my own, and did so out of shame and embaressment, I would have gone on to be destructive. We have to protect that population to.

        I agree to disagree. But we both agree kids in bad situations need help.

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        • #94
          Re: Maine Middle School to offer Birth Control

          I think that there are always exceptions to the rule, but I thought the goal of any program is to increase the odds of success for those they want to help. I'm sure for every 10 kids there is 1 responsible one, but should those 9 be sacrificed for one ? This is a very inconsistent way of introducing policy. Any child that under the age of 13 is having sex and if their parents are not concerned and show signs of a very dysfunctional home, should probably be removed from the home not given birth control.

          Finally, they are also overlooking the health issues. There are age limits on a lot of over-the counter drugs and I am sure drug companies have not tested the long term affects of BC on children. Plus a full medical history and gynecological test should be administered also. I saw no mention of this in Maine's policy.

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