Facebook announcements...

[houseelf]

Agree, Agree, Agree.

Warning, old lady rant ahead~

I love pics and updates of far off people like my foreign exchange family and a second cousin who lives in Ecuador part of the year which is beautifully facilitated by FB. Once in a great while someone posts something fun about a cool trip, an interesting experience, or a revelation that they have recently made. Most of the time it is banal, innapropriate, faux intimacy that leaves me scratching my head.

I do love pics of fat cheeked babies. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure I'd be happy if FB only had photos of fat cheeked babies and cute kids. Otherwise, I think it is a pretty crappy imitation of anything meaningful and often cheapens otherwise meaningful interactions. All of the reasons mentioned above make me realize that I have as many negative reactions with FB as I do positive. It makes people believe that they are the star of their own reality show and it only matters if it is 'produced' in an update status.

I'm probably going to have a hard time with these social apps when my kids are users. Somebody pass my Geritol, would you?

Somebody pass my Geritol, would you?

LOL! Do they even make that any more? That's probably a reference that dates us from the get-go!

I like/use FB a lot more than you do, Kelly, but the old person in me comes out when my friends teenage daughters post pictures of themselves in bikinis. Their mom AND dad are friends w/them, so they see them. It KILLS me. I want to send them a message saying "Boys aren't just looking at that picture. They're *using* that picture ... if you know what I mean." GROSS - but you totally know that's happening.

[Phoebe]

I personally don't mind announcements on FB. In fact, I announced yesterday about my pregnancy for the first time after we had our ultrasound so I included the gender. This was after I notified the appropriate people first. Except for friends we have made in our current location after moving, all of our friends and family live out-of-state. Now when I had a miscarriage last year, I hadn't announced the pregnancy on FB and I didn't feel comfortable sharing about our loss. It was too painful. Most status posts I make are about funny things my kids say or do and important events. I hide the people who get on my nerves on FB and would never out someone on their page. Most of my "friends" on FB are from high school and college so it is nice to keep up with people I don't normally see or speak with regularly. However, I don't use FB as a way to keep in touch with family members.

[SoonerTexan]

I announced via Facebook but made sure my immediate & extended family knew first (well, the ones that wouldn't squeal).

I liked it and will do it again because it made spreading the word around work a little easier. I'm friends with a handful of people from work and when they saw it, they asked if it was okay to share and I said yes. Took the pressure off me. A few people asked why I didn't announce it, to which I responded, "Did I miss the giant PREGNANCY bulletin board I'm supposed to post on?"

There are also a few people I consider myself friends which, whom I don't email or call on a regular basis. I would have no idea they were engaged or pregnant without Facebook and I liked being able to know and sincerely congratulate them.

That being said, I'm about to do a massive cleanout of my friends list, especially with all the new "features"

[scarlett09]

I agree that family/friends shouldn't be finding out from facebook but I don't mind announcements in general once those things have already happened.

In fact, when we found out I was pregnant, we deactivated our FB walls so that no one could "out" us before we were ready. I posted pics and an announcement at 13 weeks. It was actually pretty neat because several people I'm not close with (freshmen year roommate, acquaintances from high school, etc.) were very excited for me even though I would never have called them to tell them otherwise. I would DEFINITELY recommend deactivating your wall though if you don't want anyone outing you on anything (engagements, babies, etc) because I've seen that happen a million times.

This. DH and I will both be deactivating our FB walls and telling folks not to share anything on FB when we tell them we are pregnant. We did something similar on FB when we got engaged. We called a lot of our immediate family and friends over the holidays with the good news. It was only after we felt we had contacted everyone important to us did we change our relationship status to engaged. This was about a week after he proposed. I've found out that friends and acquaintances have gotten engaged via FB and text. For friends, the text and a picture is appropriate. For acquaintances, FB is just fine. If I'm not e-mailing/texting/calling them in real life, then I don't expect a personal message about their big news.

DH's cousins have taken to sending mass texts to cousins to announce their pregnancies. I think they are trying to make sure we hear about it before we see it on Facebook, but frankly, I don't think a mass text is much different from a Facebook announcement. And there are very few people from whom I would expect a personal call (our siblings, pretty much). So I guess I don't care much. This might be because I am a serious, long-time Facebook addict.

I agree! I don't think a mass text is very personal, especially from family or close friends. I have received pregnancy news in person and on FB from close friends. I prefer in person or a phone call, I think it's much more exciting to see and/or hear the person's reaction to your good news. Happiness and joy are contagious.

I ended up getting flak because I didn’t make an announcement on facebook and a few old friends that I’m no longer close with didn’t know I was pregnant until after the baby was born. Guess you can’t win. Next time (if there is a next time), I’ll make a simple facebook announcement after I’ve personally informed my friends/family.

I personally encountered a similar situation with DH's friend's wife (whom I can't stand, so my opinion on this is clouded). She told us in person that she was pregnant around the holidays in person at a get-together of DH's old roommates. At the time she was already 18 weeks. When she commented how awkward it would be to suddenly show up 7 months pregnant at a friend's wedding in March, I told her that I would see the friends at the bridal shower and happily relate her good news. She told me not to; while I understand it was her news to share, I don't understand why you wouldn't want to spread such happy news. Anyway, she never posted anything about being pregnant on FB - no ultrasound pictures, happy news, shower pictures, etc. She got her shock value at our friend's wedding, as I think she is an attention-seeker to begin with. Someone posted a comment about the baby liking a sandwich she was having, she deleted the comment (even though she was past 36 weeks). When she had the baby in May, her and her husband posted the news and pics to FB. She was discussing how she pushed out a 10lb baby, complete with way too much description. First comment? "I didn't even know you were pregnant!"

My point got a little lost in that story (plus I had a blowout with my mother on the phone while I was writing this). I can understand why you might not want to share on FB, given the privacy issues and all that stuff. But sometimes, as in the case of this chick, it felt very secretive. Like that she wasn't happy about being pregnant (when she was) or that they were ashamed of it (which they weren't). I think I would be shouting my happy news via every available form of communication - FB, e-mail, text, Morse code, carrier pigeon, etc. Perhaps it is the world that we have become accustomed to, that nothing is personal and private anymore, that all must be shared via social media or else you are hiding something. I haven't been pregnant yet or had any children, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

[Tenacious_D]

I chose not to announce our pregnancies until the end because I was nervous that if something happened it would be too hard to explain it to the masses rather than talk to individual friends. It was different sharing here because I felt like this was a smaller more understanding group. It does hurt to see some things on facebook that you otherwise would have found it via call or in person. Times they are a changin' !

And we also disabled our wall so there were no accidental congrats messages

[Thirteen]

We told people in person at 3ish months. I never made an announcement on Facebook. The first pictures of my "bump" were posted at 5 months, I believe.

[Bittersweet]

Scarlett, that’s definitely weird. I promise I wasn’t like your crazy friend and trying to garner attention by not sharing my pregnancy. I’m just not really active on facebook. So, it wasn’t out of character for me to not share via that forum. Plus, we had some concerns regarding our son’s health and I wasn’t in the mood to make a lighthearted, happy announcement when I was mostly feeling concerned.

[corn poffi]

I agree there. My best friend never even mentioned it on Facebook. But she isn't a big facebooker, so it wouldn't have been out of character for her to not post.

[scarlett09]

Scarlett, that’s definitely weird. I promise I wasn’t like your crazy friend and trying to garner attention by not sharing my pregnancy. I’m just not really active on facebook. So, it wasn’t out of character for me to not share via that forum. Plus, we had some concerns regarding our son’s health and I wasn’t in the mood to make a lighthearted, happy announcement when I was mostly feeling concerned.

Don't worry, no one could be like her. She's on FB all the time, posting pictures of baby Butters and whining about school, the baby and other things. She and her husband defriended me recently because he couldn't take a joke about status updates regarding the recent hurricane. When we saw them about 6 weeks ago, no one was allowed to hold the baby but her. Her overall reactions to being pregnant and a mother have left me scratching my head. I'm glad I have other pregnant/mommy friends and you guys to show me that her behaviors are not normal.

I knew that you had a very good reason for not sharing your news on FB. I too would be hesitant to share if I had your concerns during pregnancy. I'm so very happy you have a healthy little guy!

It's good hear that others have normal, healthy reasons for not sharing their news on FB.

[SoonerTexan]

I will say I wish I had filtered our announcement on Facebook to possibly exclude a few people (maybe an obnoxious relative and perhaps a certain former professor whom I really like, but doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut)

[scrub-jay]

I'm not a big FB'er, so we ended up only showing belly pictures pretty late in the game. Most people knew anyway, but there were a few "wow, I had no idea, congrats!" I didn't really care.

[diggitydot]

Most of our family (close and distant) are on the other side of the country. Not that I'm complaining about the distance or anything, but we wouldn't know 85% of what's going on with them without FB announcements.

The ones that drive me insane are the attention-whoring posts. Just about every post by a gal I was good friends with in high school is about her ex, a pic of her newest Rainbow Brite hair color, a tat she had done to match said hair color (no, I didn't make that up), or alternately how hard her life is or how awesome it is. Everything seems like she's fishing for sympathy or compliments.

Meh, I post shit that makes me giggle -- that's about it.

[L.Jane]

When J and I got engaged I just gave everyone the disclaimer that they needed to not say anything to anyone until I changed my status on FB. Then they could talk all they want. Everyone was really good about it. Honestly, I think now it should just be common sense that the person who has the major event should be the first one to post it online. Then just a week ago when I sent the first view of my wedding highlights video by email to immediate family, I didn't even think to tell everyone not to put it on FB because I was asking for a few changes (and seeing if anyone of my close family had anything they needed changed.) To my surprise my mom tells me my sister has put it up on FB. I had to call her and ask her to take it down, since it wasn't the final edit. I then called my other sister to tell her not to put it up. She said, "I didn't think it was my place, I figured you would if you wanted to." That's kind of how I feel about FB, I never ever make a comment on someone's page about their personal stuff (engagement, pregnancy...) until THEY make a comment. Even if someone else has made a comment, I don't want to be that person that outs someone. Its just rude honestly.

[ladymoreta]

I'm kind of a Facebook junky... For my pregnancies, I announced on FB the same day I told my parents and close family. My problem was with people who felt they should have been notified personally, but I didn't. I have a friend from high school whom I've maintained occasional contact with (we see each other about every 3-4 months for dinner or a movie), but she's still just an acquaintance in my opinion. She called me and seemed genuinely hurt that I hadn't told her before posting. It just seemed weird to me...

I still feel kind of bad about not calling people after DS was born. I made up a call list with phone numbers and the order to call people, but DH said he wasn't going to call anyone, and I was exhausted and busy with DS, nursing, talking to visitors etc. Looking back, I wish I'd just sucked it up and made the calls, but I was just so tired. (Ha!) Ah well, maybe this time around...

As far as not posting things about my son to avoid hurting feelings, maybe I'm just a jerk... I am with him all day and sometimes all night. If I didn't post things about him, I wouldn't really post much of anything! I primarily use FB to share pictures of DS with family, so I'm 100% okay with people blocking me if they don't want to see or hear about DS.