Bullying in Med School

[PrincessFiona]

Many of you have been members for over 5+ years. You have seen a lot but never this. In all that time no one has ever been kicked off. Think about that. In the history of imsn (11+) years, no one has EVER been banned until now.

[moonlight]

Wow. Glad I showed up tonight after being away to see how far this place has fallen. Back to lurking...unless I'm not allowed to say what I just said and get put in permanent time out too.

Seriously, some of you guys need to get a grip. This whole thread is a prime example of why people have left. This isn't what this place used to be, not at all. It's gotten far too incestuous and really revolves around about 2 topics and five people. But as someone said upthread, we all come and go, and most of us (well, all of us here except for MIT) do so at our own will. I'll check back in a few months and see if anything's better, I guess.

Later.

I've personalty enjoyed you being on here since I've joined several years ago, but I think I get why you don't really want to hang out at this corner of the internet as much. My only question is why do you continue to be a moderator of a site you don't really care to be a active member of? I honestly wish you were more active.

[diggitydot]

If some of our members elect to not be supportive of other members, maybe self-regulating their exposure here is best for all involved. After all, this is a SUPPORT site.

If anyone wants to discuss any "new dynamic", I'm all ears. PM away and I can discuss it with other mods and maybe bring it up to some admins if we can identify some tweaks that can be made. But complaining about it to new people who have no frame of reference is counterproductive to everyone and particularly limiting to those who want to ask questions, but suddenly feel like they shouldn't do so. That's why this site exists; to support others who are or were in the same boat and offer helpful or useful information. If someone is here for any other reason, they should probably reevaluate.

This forum, like all forums, has ebbs and flows in both membership and dynamic. That's just a part of life, in general.

[moonlight]

That clears up a lot for me! You are listed as a mod for the Resident spouse area but you've never posted in there that I can ever remember since I've been a resident spouse for three years now. Look on the main page... your listed as a mod for Colonoscopy.

[SoonerTexan]

I'm sorry you feel that way, but at any rate, know your absence was felt and we probably all dress crappier because of it (or make Vishenka work overtime)

[Thirteen]

I'm not a mod here, never have been. If I have, that's news to me.

Honestly, I view this site primarily as a mommy site. I am not a mom, so 90% of what is here is not relevant to me anymore. This used to be a different dynamic, full of vivacious women (and a handful of men) who were muscling through and forging their way through the rough waters of medicine. Now, it seems like it's pretty myopic, there's very little going on outside of "best stroller" or whatever discussions - which are useful for people who need strollers and I get that completely - and just a different dynamic. And frankly I'm sort of expecting for Kris to tell me to take a hike too since I didn't toe the line here. I never signed on, anywhere, in my entire life, to be a sycophant. I'll support you guys but around here, that has come to mean nothing but telling everyone they're right all the time... even when a little kick in the rear would be the thing that a true friend would do. I'm not comfortable with that, so the 10% of non-mom stuff leaves me unable to say much.

Regarding your comments: I think you are right, we do discuss babies, parenting, and all things that go along with both quite frequently.

I have found, however, that this too seems to ebb and flow. Many of the outspoken, newer members are just in the same place right now - first time pregnancy and parenthood. Since there is so much trust here, many post about it in confidence (and sometime zealousness - looking at myself here).

It must seem... banal, after a while. I do hope you have not personally felt ostracized, though. It's just where a lot of us are.

I have also seen many "repeats" from older threads: older members asking the same questions, having the same fears, having even more senior members calm their fears.
I thought it was just the way things flowed.

Personally, I have missed what you add to this place.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Cinderella]

We've gone from bullying in medical schools to bullying on a medical spouse support website. Maybe this thread should be moves to Site Related discussions, but I can't help but see the irony in the topic of public action being taken by an authority against a member, as it relates to the bullying in medical school article.

Again I guess I will have to speak from my own experience. While I haven't been here more than a year this isn't my first online forum I've participated on. I can relate to the issues happening in this thread regarding this website as I've seen it also happen on other sites I participate on. As some have already mentioned and I happen to agree with the culture of online activity changes. Before facebook there was myspace before that there was Yahoo chat. Then came webcams and video chat with Skype and the list goes on as people change ways to communicate with others on various platforms. The culture of online forums can be similar too even if they are differently themed like a fourm for iMSN and a forum for expats can be different in theme but alike in format for communication and shared topics of discussion.

The internet is still relatively new in our culture and the rules that govern it are constantly in development. The dust hasn't settled yet but I suspect with the way things are going in Congress and elsewhere globally that it will finalize in around 15 years. I know that websites can be considered public forums in regards to being a place where members can post user generated content and their post can be viewed by others and some that are not members. Sometimes people mistake this as meaning they have freedom of speech that extends to the virtual world but this isn't entirely the case.

Most message boards like these are privately owned and operated and a Terms of Service (TOS) is agreed upon registration. Private entities are not public property and thus the rules governing many places of communication in the virtual world are not the same that govern the reality of the public world. Members while enjoying the many often times free amenities of such sites can choose to participate or not, but they are subject to governing by site administration and the owners of content as they see fit because they are eventually the ones liable for said or rather "written" content. It's like that with most major websites online too such as email, facebook, ect. TOS has a history of being ever developing and updating too with all these sites. That is as technology advances and people continue to interact and use these integrating platforms administration can better steer the course of their vision. It's had an amazing impact on our lives and the ways we communicate.

Sometimes users that are sort of grandfathered into a site from the beginning will see a lot of come and go and overall platform changes. Some of them will be new to a site and online community all together and not know the rules of proper netiquette and go bumping through the dark coming up against the walls of others until they conform or get kicked out, which in most cases is rarely if ever. Most admins or owners of a site will have to take a lot from an individual with several warnings before to publicly decry them. They most often do it private and then notify the group of members of said actions publicly about said user. The site admin or owners don't even have to do that courtesy. It is fully site administration or owners discretion how they wish the handle an individual.

[Sheherezade]

Hate to lock a thread that's rated as *five stars* on the front page ... but we've strayed WAAAAAY off topic. Please feel free to start a new thread on site dynamics if you want to continue discussion. And all us "old timers" that want different topics should maybe try starting a few threads with different topics. Just a thought.