I need your help!

[weeniegeniewife]

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[DCJenn]

Re: I need your help!

What to wear? Our ladies in the Retail group will be on that mission, ASAP.

Of the ones that I've been to- long dresses and/or fancy cocktail dresses are the standard.

They're horribly boring in my experience. My husband is pathelogically shy so I'm the one who has to work the room which SUCKS. I would much rather hang back but if we have to make the small talk, I'm the one doing it.

If it's a couple hundred people, don't even worry too much because you will just blend in.

Did his group buy a table? If so, you'll be with people he knows and chances are you've met before. My company used to buy a table at a fundraiser so at least I knew everyone we were seated with.

I love silent auctions though- is there going to be one? I have found so very cool stuff at silent auctions.

Jenn

Re: I need your help!

If you go with basic black, a long evening gown is a safe bet.

[DCJenn]

Re: I need your help!

Of course, vintage is always fun, too.

(I have the infamous vintage silver lame and red flowered evening skirt that I have worn to multiple functions with a vintage men's red button down shirt.) You have to be super comfortable in your own skin to wear loud and vintage. But, you can always find classic vintage stuff too. I have a gorgeous black taffeta cocktail dress that has a mink collar. Unfortunately, there's no place to wear it in San Antonio!)

Jenn

[SuzySunshine]

Re: I need your help!

Well I don't know how many of us are veterans around here, most of us are still residents and benefits aren't part of the picture yet. But we do have some retail gurus and it looks like you've already received some great suggestions. I agree with asking someone who's gone before though, I find asking DH is usually useless but if you can find a wife of a fellow doc that knows that's probably better.

[Rapunzel]

Re: I need your help!

It may depend on the size of the event as to just how formal it will be.

I'm about to go to an children's opera fundraiser/benefit in a few weeks and it is going to be a *tiny* group of people invited (we're talking just a few dozen). We will be treated to a solo performance by a "world renowned" opera singer. I'm sure the performer will be in a tux. But, I'm particularly baffled as to what to wear. It's going to be in someone's (rather lavish) home.

I'd be just fine figuring out apparel for a large black-tie formal event. It's these small "cozy" yet formal events that confuse me.... (Suggestions gratefully accepted!)

[weeniegeniewife]

Re: I need your help!

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[Michele]

Re: I need your help!

I always err on the side of more formal than less...and I usually stick to the same few colors that look good on me. For both situations here (Jamie's and Rapunzel's) I'd wear a floor length gown....Jamie's I'd dress up a bit more..maybe with some decorative beeding or something and a little bit flashier accessories....for Rapunzel's I'd keep the dress more plain with more subdued accessories.

[Rapunzel]

Re: I need your help!

I just realized that this is really a Retail Therapy thread.

Flynn has a similar one down there right now - formal charity event - what to wear?

In fact, Jamie, Flynn might have some good suggestions for you!

[weeniegeniewife]

Re: I need your help!

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[Rapunzel]

Re: I need your help!

I don't know if it would be considered flashy.

It hasn't been mentioned yet but I think there's also a regional variation in what is considered appropriate for formal functions.

For instance, I see a lot more color and "flash" here in the South than I ever would wear in the Northeast. When we were in Boston I wore black to all formal occasions and you didn't really see any bare shoulders. Very conservative dress - but still very formal.

Down here you see a lot more, um, garish attire. I've actually seen sequins (what I consider the ultimate in "flashy" attire - along with gaudy jewelry). :tsk:

You're in the Northwest, right? I'd definitely ask Flynn (who is also from the Northwest and goes to these things) for some advise. I think you'll want formal but probably very elegant for that region.

Re: I need your help!

It hasn't been mentioned yet but I think there's also a regional variation in what is considered appropriate for formal functions.

That's why I'd go with a long black evening gown. (You can always get one with a light jacket & ditch it if you see other bare shoulders.) Next year, when you're familiar with what's worn at this particular function, you can jazz it up.

And no, I haven't been to a hospital benefit yet; I'm basing this on what people have worn to the black tie events in DH's department the last few years, and I just know I'd rather go with more formal & conservative the first time around in a new place.

[DCJenn]

Re: I need your help!

If you were in Texas, I'd say go for the glitz- cleavage, sparkles, colors...what was it that Nellie or Flynn said about formal in the northwest? black fleece? In DC it could go in any direction- the restaurant scene may have improved 150% but the Old Guard still can't dress.

J.

[Flynn]

Re: I need your help!

OK, so DH tells me the other day that we have "some kind of benefit" to go to in three weeks. With more prodding, I find out that it is an annual benefit for the Trauma system that we have here in Oregon....all hospitals represented, lots and lots of docs with their wives, hospital administrators, etc. This is a HUGE black tie event, with hundreds of people. I have never been to one of these before, and I'm nervous about it. What the heck do you guys wear to these kind of functions? I only have a couple of weeks to put something together. For those veterans who've done these before, can you help a newbie out? Also, what tends to happen at these kind of functions? Is it just a lot of shmoozing with the other docs and their wives?

Gotta love "black tie" functions. Where is the ing emotion?
I would guess being from the Northwest there might be some people there underdressed despite what the invitation said.

You can't go wrong with a classic black dress and it's likely you'll be able to wear it again -- that might not be the case with a bold color.

For my first big function I went through a Nordstroms personal shopper. It was pretty fun actually. I came out with an outfit I still wear because it is a classic black dress and great quality. I think it's about 8 years old now.

I asked for everything -- shoes and accessories to see how it would really look. It's hard to picture a dress when your hair is in a ponytail and you're barefoot. I had some things at home that would work but bought a small clutch to finish the outfit.

It's been my experience that you don't want to stick out but you want to look amazing.
I'll never forget a resident's wife who wore a red strapless dress with TONS of cleavage. She looked like Jessica Rabbit and the wives of all the attendings looked at her with pity. I didn't want that EVER to be me.

[medpedspouse]

Re: I need your help!

I totally agree with what others have said regarding wearing what makes YOU comfortable. If you feel comfortable in your attire that automatically equals more confidence and confidence masks any improper dress length, color etc. For me, an ankle length black dress that I wear with pearls is my go to dress when I am not sure what to wear. It is my security blanket. I know it looks good on me and I have always felt comfortable in the various occasions. BUT this is MY style. My friend. who is much older than me, loves metallics. I would never wear the stuff she wears. However, she always looks fabulous. It is about you and what you can pull off. Same goes for your DH. If he is not comfortable in a tux, a nice suit with a more formal tie may be best.

Now having said that, you are right in needing to know the appropriate attire. I would contact their office manager (he/she probably is who bought the table and is keeping the receipts for tax purposes later ) and ask for a copy of the invite. DH's office manager is used to the docs forgetting, misplacing & losing stuff all the time and I think they would understand your need to know the necessary specifics.

Keep us posted and let us know what beeee-a-u-tiful couple you two make.