I am an etiquette snob.

[Chrisada]

So I feel like a complete etiquette snob, but what happened to personalized thank you notes?
We went to a wedding a while ago (some may remember the whole no children allowed thing, even if breastfeeding). The wedding started an 1 1/2 late and the bride and groom never even greeted any of the guests once the reception finally started. So about two months after the wedding we get a thank you note. However... it had all been printed out by a company with a picture of them. So the card very generically said off the top of my head, "Thank you for sharing our special day with us and and for the gift. We are sorry we could not personally greet everyone. With love..."
Am I a snob for thinking that if someone spends alot of time and money for your wedding that you should hand write a personal note with a specific thank you for the gift given? It just felt very generic too me. Are hand written notes not "in" anymore? Etiquette has always been a big thing for me, so maybe that is why I am annoyed.

[Thirteen]

I say no to the snobbery, and agree with you.
I hand wrote EVERY SINGLE thank you card. Then again, I'm from the south, and if I hadn't, my mom would have smacked me something fierce.
It could be different by region -- anyone else?

[SuzySunshine]

I don't think a hand written note is to much to ask at all. That is why, in my opinion, etiquette says you have a year to get them out.

[NYCHoosier]

Totally taboo.

Our thank you cards showed a picture of us holding a "thank you" sign in wedding garb, but inside there was a personal handwritten note.

I could see going even so far as having a general thank you "Thank you for sharing our special day with us" but there should still be a personal note of some such, noting the specific gift they received from you or, if it was money, some note of "generous gift which we plan to use [__]..."

ITA with you.

[NYCHoosier]

I say no to the snobbery, and agree with you.
I hand wrote EVERY SINGLE thank you card. Then again, I'm from the south, and if I hadn't, my mom would have smacked me something fierce.
It could be different by region -- anyone else?

I'm from Indiana - home of the tacky wedding traditions (cash bar, dollar dance, you name it!), and I've received handwritten thank you notes from all weddings I attended there. (Of course, we never received a note from one of DH's fraternity brothers - we weren't able to attend, but we did purchase something off the registry...)

[Chrisada]

We also had a a picture of us on the front of the card, but like you said, I also personalized the inside very specifically. As in naming the gift given and thanking people for traveling and making the time for us. It just seemed so tacky to me that the only hand written thing was our address on the envelope!

[scrub-jay]

I handmade every one of the 200 thank you notes and put a thoughtful, relevant note on every single one. Took me some time, but it got done. It is appropriate to take a moment to recognize each guest - especially if you didn't get to greet each one. (We handed out leis following the ceremony right before the reception - in which we greeted and got a picture with/of each guest). Anyone that took time from their life to celebrate with me deserved at least that much in my book.

[medpedspouse]

I am a note writer. I even like to send send thank yous to the host/ess after dinner parties. BUT I have a thing for pretty paper, cards, etc. and realize that not everyone feels the way I do. Therefore, any thank you gesture is appreciated come via FB, email, text, phone call is appreciated.

That said, I hand wrote all 213 thank you notes and mentioned the individual gift in each. DH = 0 - he had already started med school and "did not have time". If I had known then what i know now (that he will never have as much time as he had in med school), the boy would have written some too.

[DCJenn]

No, not too much to expect. How tacky.

I make Nikolai write his thank yous for gifts the next day. If this child leaves my home and doesn't write thank yous for his gifts then I will know that it has nothing to do with what he's been taught.

Jenn

[rainbabies]

I'm a thank you note kind of girl. My step-mom insisted in it...from age ten. My kids are expected to make them too. At the very least, I will write one on behalf of my kids. I will usually (try to) send a baked good with my thank you..as it's about all I can do at this point

you're not a snob. You're *right*

[rainbabies]

From age ten because that's when she and my dad got married. But earlier for kids is better, IMO.

[NYCHoosier]

We also had a a picture of us on the front of the card, but like you said, I also personalized the inside very specifically. As in naming the gift given and thanking people for traveling and making the time for us. It just seemed so tacky to me that the only hand written thing was our address on the envelope!

Wait, they didn't even sign?? I get more personalized holiday cards...

[MarissaNicole]

(Warning - didn't read anyone else's response)

Last year when one of my friends got married we couldn't go to the wedding (it was my law school graduation) but we sent a gift (a personalized frame) and the thank you we got was something similar... it was a poem that was like thanks for sharing in our joy and thanks for whatever (but it rymed) and to be honest I was offended.

To me, do not even bother sending me a Thank you note if you are just going to write the exact same thing in EVERY note that doesn't even acknowledge that I got you a gift as opposed to cash. And ya know I would have preferred a note that was sloppy or misspelled or even two lines.... but a poem that EVERYONE got?

I mean we at least tried to say thanks for the money this is what we will do with it or thanks for the (insert item) or whatever but I just feel like they didn't even know what people gave them.... it just offended me.

[Chrisada]

Wait, they didn't even sign?? I get more personalized holiday cards...

Yes! Not even a signature. My mother, who flew in from 600 miles away and missed a day of work because it was on a Sunday afternoon was not amused.

I agree with medpedspouse that I don't mind what format a thank you comes in -- phone call, email, note, what have you. I just like to know that someone received what I sent so that if the gift didn't arrive, I can follow up.

Several years ago we received a thank you from a wedding that said:

Love the Denby!

And that, plus a signature, is all. I had no idea what Denby was. I sent something from the registry, I don't recall the item but want to say it was in the linens category. A few months later I was in the housewares section of a store and saw Denby place settings. Aha! They must have registered for those or maybe the brand of the linens was Denby.